This is the craaaaziest journal you'll ever read!! Put the kids to bed! |
A single thought, and then a single tear push me to just run home. Then suddenly someone at GU makes me laugh, or simply says hello, and I'm reminded that I'm loved. I guess I don't know where I really want to be right now. I do love it here, and I am making some great friends, but what's it all for? I still feel like I have left so much behind...Lamoni, IA doesn't hold nearly as much for me as MI. I've had to learn the hard way since I've been here who my friends really are. They're the people that call me a few times a week to tell me they love me, and to talk about the smallest things from what time I woke up to who I went to lunch with to which guy I have my eye on now (even if Daggett just wants to know who he has to protect me from ;)). These are the people whom I love and appreciate with all of my heart. These are the people that will be there for me when I'm home for the summer, or just a weekend. These are the people God has blessed me with. Some people who I considered friends haven't even talked to me since I left MI. Others say a few words a merely brush me off. This hurts me so much I don't know how to handle it. My friends have always meant the world to me, and I've never lost so many at once. I guess they're just less that I have to worry about in my life, even though I still love them. I know things will never be the same, but I'm just sorry that it had to come to this. I'm sitting in the Enter.Netc@fe right now with other students all around me. I'm finding it difficult to keep the tears back right now. I guess I'll go for a walk or back to my room to just THINK. (although, I don't know what I'm supposed to think anymore.) Love~KIM |