From June 21 Onward

The Truth Hurts

August 10, 2002

         I found a bunch of old Internet conversations my friend had saved. For old time's sake, I read through them.
         I was horrified. Partly because one of them reminded me of a very painful situation that chain-reacted into the emotionally-unstable person who writes today. But mostly because I found out that the worst I'd feared (when I thought I was just being paranoid) was true.
         So many things she'd said to me raced through my mind. No longer could I think fondly of them. They were lies. And now, in an instant, I knew for sure.
         That long, late phone conversation she told me she'd enjoyed so much? She didn't even want to talk to me. All those good things she'd said to me? Compliments made from pity; lies to give me just enough to live on.
         I didn't know what to think. Just the previous morning, while on a walk, I'd formulated the reason why it had all fallen apart. Now I didn't even know where it all started. I needed to collect my thoughts.
         I took a walk. The second one this morning.
         I spent a lot of time thinking. I wondered how long it had been going like this that I didn't even know it. I remember how I thought everything was okay. I wonder when she began looking down on me instead of level in the eyes.
         Needless to say, I'm crushed. This whole Corvette situation is probably the second most painful experience I've ever had. I hate when friends betray you. And I hate when something that could have been so good falls apart without good reason.
         Now, for its third appearance in this journal, recommended listening is Every Rose Has Its Thorn by Poison. So fitting. Goodbye.

~ Dris ~