Murder Scenes that make you laugh

Death Threats from Martha Stuart

nothing, i mean fucking nothing extrememly kewl has happened. i feel so shamed.

had band pratice, worked on a new song. its good.

my mom is always pissed at me for things i didnt do. (which means she requested me to do something that i forgot about).

she also claimed that i had stolen a pool float (out of the 3) and brought it up to the loft. My question...what the fuck in god's name would i need to steal a pool float for to bring up to the loft?

shes smoking crack, on top of her depression.

today is me and crystal's 5 month anniversary, contrary to my popular belief that it was 6. you have to sympathize, i forgot to carry the one.

Justin had a fight on his cell phone with his ex infront of "the band". so i turned up the music and started singing, Austin, turned the music down. i asked him, "well be rude and listen in on their conversation." Austin said "im turning it down so he can hear her..." which really means, "i turned it down cause i love the way you sing, you sexy thing you." so i turned it down and listened to Justin very carefully and attempt to grasp what Griffin might have said. He ended the conversation and went back to the music.

Austin, Justin and me also have a hand signal now...

Jessi has yet to have sex with Austin...but ill fill you in on those details later.

i humped them with my blow up penis. i humped them all.

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