Spasmodic Contemplations

My Thoughts on Religon

Tonight was the last night that my grandfather and great-aunt were to visit us, and thank God for that! Anywayz, since I'm still living at home, I was forced to sit in the living room and visit with everyone to be "gracious" and "hospitable." Bah! I really didn't want to in the first place; I'm just not the socializing type I guess. But I had no choice.

When I came in, my grandfather, my mom, and my dad, were talking about religion (ohhhhh yay). Blah blah blah blah, I just get sick of it after a while. My grandfather, the poor, spoiled, self-centered, prejudiced, insular, former-wife-beater, hypocritical-in-general bastard was talking about God and Jesus and all that stuff--quoting the Bible back and forth, telling what he believes. Now I am a Christian, and I um, guess I believe in the Christian doctrine, but it just didn't sound right coming from him. He makes me sick, and I can't stand being around him in the first place. And him talking about Christianity and benevolence and what we should all be doing and believing pissed me off! I'm sorry, but that's just the way it is. It gets on my nerves enough when my mom goes on and on about religion and we should do this and that and blah blah blah, but my grandfather is worse, talking about Judas Iscariot and how bad he was and how he went to Hell, when he himself is no better. Traitor. Anyway, he kept accusing the Catholic church and Jehovah's Witness (which he used to be one of) and Church of Christ and Pentacostals and every denomination that he was not of practicing the wrong thing, doing the wrong thing, believing the wrong thing (i.e., the Catholic church selling indulgences, I think that's what it's called, selling forgiveness basically, "Forgive me Father for I have sinned, etc."). And I agree with some of it, but he has no right to say that stuff because some of the things he was telling us he believed was WAY out there. Oh well, there's my granddad for ya. He complained of other people being so stubborn about what they believed and not being open to anything else, and yet when we tried to oppose something he said, he would get all annoyed and shit. Gah, I hate it!

I mean really, who are we Christians to say we are totally right and everyone else is wrong? Who is anyone to do that? If we believe that there is no other way to get to Heaven or that we are the only ones who know what's right to believe and that there is no other correct way, and the Muslims believe that they are right, and the Hindus believe that they are right, and the Buddhists believe that they are right, and the Jews believe that they are right, then who is? No one can actually prove that their religion is the true one. It's all based on faith and people's choices and not on science. I know this, and yet I choose to believe in Christianity anyway simply because I haven't found anything else that I want to replace it with. So how will we ever know? Well, I guess no one will until they die. Then, if the Christians are right, you'll go to Heaven or Hell. If the Muslims are right, you may go to Heaven to be with Allah, or you may not. If the Hindus are right, then you'll be reincarnated into something that reflects the worth of your previous life, etc. We'll just have to wait and see. Until then, everyone should be tolerant of the others. Everyone has a right to believe what they choose, but they shouldn't persecute the people who don't believe the same. And if your religion encourages you to convert others, well, try I guess, but don't so much that you push them away. This is the mistake that many people around here make. Simply tell the unbelieving person what you believe, and if they sound interested, go on. But if they don't, stop and only tell them more if they ask for it. This way, the other people don't get pissed off at you like I was earlier. If everyone would just be a little more tolerant and not so freaking insular, then maybe we wouldn't have so many problems, ya know?

7-26-02

I decided that I had more to say, and if you don't care to read it, then you don't have to. It's not like I'm forcing you to read all about me and what I believe. Go on and assume that I'm just your typical Southern Baptist--insular to the core, acting all zealous about Christianity and yet acting like a hypocrite. I admit that I am hypocritical, and it makes me feel like shit to know this. I go to church and say I pray and all this stuff, and yet here I am, writing all this that just goes against it all. Oh well. If I had my choice, I wouldn't go to church just so that I wasn't included in the whole "I don't go to church because of the hypocrites there." But my mom makes me; she still thinks I'm a "good Christian." Hypocracy is bad, but I can't help it. I just think differently than most of the Christians that I know.

The things that they teach us in Sunday school, like a 6-day creation, all other religions are wrong, etc. is where I disagree. See, I just can't believe that the whole freaking universe was created in 6 days, even if it was created by a supernatural being (God) and even though He is supposed to be all-powerful. The only way that I can see to explain say, the dinosaurs and neanderthol man and what not, is to say that each "day" of the creation could have actually been mmillinos of years. Science (so full of logic, I know. I love it) can prove the age of fossils by using Carbon-14 dating, but according to the Bible (which really can't be proved), the universe is only about 5,000 years old give or take. No more than 10,000 for sure. So what I think is, since "A day to God can be equal to a thousand years," maybe the dinosaurs were created on the so-and-so day, and that "day" lasted for millions of years. Then on the sixth "day" man was created. And man didn't have to be so complex as we are now. Perhaps he really was very primitive, and maybe we just evolved from that--not necessarily from monkeys. Besides, how could they explain Lucy? Anyway, maybe this isn't making sense, but then, when do I ever make sense?

For instance, I'm a Christian planning on going into biology where I'll get to learn all about evolution and Darwinism and the "Big Bang" and whatever. Learning things that directly oppose my religious beliefs. And yet I love it! I love science, and I think that it is definitely more rational and logical than Christianity. And yet I still believe in it. I have "blind faith" and yet I want scientific proof knowing that there is none. Well, maybe there is one way to disprove the Big Bang Theory, which btw, is a theory and not a law. There is a scientific law--the law of geothermaldynamics? Something like that--that says that if things are left to take their natural course, then they will head toward chaos, not away from it. Things don't normally become more organized over time. Food rots, bones decay, bodies age, etc. I don't know...I have to go now. Maybe I'll add some more later...maybe not.