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Getting Dropped Kicked By Reality's Thugs

Today is my very first day that i'm living my life a lot differently than i have been in the past. although, however retarded and cynical and flamboyant i may act in order to get the air of attention i've needed in the past, i will not be needing this in the future.

Life, literally, just bitch slapped me around a few times. I can say im growing up. For two reasons. I just enrolled in college, and i realized, i, yes ME, want to do something with my life to where i make my mark on this earth. I want to be a teacher. Second, i just found out i have an STD, and i got it from the one person whom i love and trust, even with my car. Truthfully, its serious, not THAT serious, but its serious. I'm not terminally ill, but i kinda feel bound to whom i love right now.

So you can take a stab that im really beyond depressed right now. I'm not one to think this, but i can perceive my own death right now. Not that I'm wanting to commit suicide or anything (thats for the real retards, or the people that want attention), no, i mean, i can see myself dying, slowly and painfully cause, as all people like me are, i'm a lover, not a fighter. I don't feel i've loved the wrong person, and that im diseased for the rest of my life, but that, i'm loving the right person and her mistakes are just rubbing off on me (pun intended). i can still manage to keep my own sense of humor. i guess im walking someone elses shoes for the moment. ive kinda stepped away from reality and my head is in the clouds, and the sky still remains bleak. But, im still walking. I got two feet that will take me where i need to go, and ive got a guitar that's got a soul and i play every ounce of love, hate, joy and misery that we share. And ive got two hands, one to eat and write with, the other to hold a cigarette or flick off an asshole in a saturn mini van that just cut me off.

"Life, its never over"
-Thursday ( Gotta Love IndieRock )