Murder Scenes that make you laugh

Coke Bottles and Getting Rid of Big Mistakes

i want to be an english teacher...i think something's wrong with me.

i really need a muse. i'm starting to lose my sense of self and my desire to play music and write. or it could be sex depravation.

this Sunday im going to see Poison the Well! yeah, hardcore!!!! However...Kittie will be opening up for them, which means im going to bring a glass jar of rotten egg yolks with some mayonaise and my spoo that's been sitting out in the sun for a few days. I may also add some deer piss (the worst smelling shit on the face of the earth, dead corpses can't even compare, and hunter's rub this on them because it's a deer aphrodisiac), making the solution quite nasty. Then ill chunk it as hard as i can at the lead singer, hopefully it busting near her or her feet, skittering the solution all over her and her band mates. Me, quickly evacuating the scene before anyone leads to the conclusion that i did something. FUCK KITTIE!

so ive got three women on me now...gf, ex fiance and prospect. none of which i am retrieving anything meaningful as of the moment. gf = bitching. ex fiance = reminisceance. prospect = lots of possible hot sex and the desire of a healthy relationship (dont those two kinda negate each other *shrugs*) Shoot me, im ticklish.

Today is Cliff's first day with the band. I want him to be really good so kick ass shit can go down. Like an orgy, or we make really good music. Because i think CLiff would be great for this band, as the lighter singer of the two. Gerardo being the heavy fucker that he is.

And i miss high school. Seriously, when people say its fucking easy, its fucking easy. I have no excuse for my 2.4gpa. Well actually i do, its called sleep, but seriously, i could have so much government money for college right now it wouldnt be funny. I could drive a fucking BENTLEY! I'm such a dumbass. Going to college anyways. English Teacher. Public school of course cause i feel like teaching the kids that dont want to be taught. And the possible use of a firearm sounds great.

I only respect Bellevedere because he's a smart ass obeist Limey who looks like he played rugby and kicked some ass. He's no hero like Bronson or Walken though.

Ah yes, meant to say yesterday...

i said to austin, "put your penis in a fondue" he said "put your penis in a fine woman". they are so alike...dingos and muslims.