Murder Scenes that make you laugh

Monkey Peters = Vienna Sausages

well the weekend had nothing extremely special to it.

well...
"Lesbians are the only thing you can't do anything with"
That can be used in 3 different ways.

Also,
"My personal weight loss success in one word... Cancer."

Last night i sat down with my best friend to a hearty meal of 5 Super Scoops of Curly Fries from Jack in the Box. And you know that Buttermilk House Sauce, well they didnt have the little packets, they had those giants Dressing Sacks. We got like 4 of those. As you can imagine this morning when i sat on the pot i was making a great beef stew. But the sheer amount of Cholestorol was worth it. I could feel my heart murmuring discreet words such as "you're trying to kill me" and "this is complete bullshit" and of course "you're going to be such a lard ass". Im not sure if that was inner thoughts, but damn i sure liked those fries.

I was made fun of my Albino Roach incident several times this weekend as well. Manpons yet again. The Drummer of my band looks like Jesus and an Ewok. He is known as Jason, The Mighty Jewok. He can walk on water and shoot a sling shot and jitter at you when you piss him off.

Advertisers...pay attention, you'll make millions.

"Try our new gonorrhea. Now with cheesy white discharge for those vitamins and minerals you're body doesnt need. And for a limited time, it comes with artificial profolactics."