It's Me (and I like 'em tall!)

10 EASY STEPS FOR EFFICIENTLY STALKING ADAM

10 EASY STEPS FOR EFFICIENTLY STALKING ADAM

10.) Start the stalking at a minimum…you don’t want the love of your life going to the police too soon.

9.) Only allow his family, neighbors and closest friends to know about your stalking tendencies.

8.) NEVER let O.C.A.R.T.S. interfere with your stalking.

7.) # 1 tool used for stalking…DeWalt Cordless Drill… this should be used for drilling peepholes in areas such as the bedroom, bathroom and/or place of employment as soon as one exists.

6.) Once the stalked is aware of the situation, and allows it to continue, code words such as “Rockford” come in handy.

5.) Once a stalked/stalker “relationship” is established… ALWAYS, ALWAYS, take along your calendar when Adam makes the plans.

4.) Get close… but not too close! (Oh, wait… no such thing as too close ;) ).

3.) As a stalker your schedule will always be full. To ensure you’re rested and alert, convince Adam to shower (often) and go to bed early. This basically guarantees more sleep for you.

2.) Keep in mind that “Rockford” is just a temporary roadblock. *Check back soon for “Ten Easy Steps to Getting Past Roadblocks.”*

1.) … And the number one tip to stalking Adam, remember that it is fun, but you’re truly doing it out of LOVE. (He might be 17, but he has a 20 year old sex appeal, Oh, I’m 20-how convenient!)