Thoughts and Feelings by Jake

Sounds of the Night

Late at night I am up thinking. Thinking and listening to all of the sounds emanating throughout the house that are silent and lie unheard during the hustle and bustle of the daytime. AS I am thinking, my thoughts change which each new sound I hear. It is as if these sounds are talking to me and telling me which direction I should take next.
The mind is complex filled with past memories, current events, and future longings. One minute I could be thinking about how ridiculous I may have acted when I thought it wasn't. Then later I find out that it was and now I am confused. Debating that if everything I had believed and thought may have not been true.

Wirrrrrrr...Furnace turns on.

Doubts begin to cloud my mind. Before I was content, felt good about what I thought, then someone changes that with one word or sentence. They say that I was indeed ridiculous, and now the cool collected guy I once thought I was is now a ridiculous one.

Creak...floorboards settling.

Then, suddenly my thoughts have changed to anger! Who are they to judge me? Who are they to even try to attempt to change my way of thinking? How and what I do with my life is my own business. Just because one person says something negative does not mean it is right. The nerve of them!

Wooooosh...water running through the pipes.

Then I feel sorry. I feel sorry for them. Because now my thoughts change to something else. I realize that their lives must be so unfulfilled to be able to pass judgement on me so quickly and easily. I feel sorry because it just means that those doubts they placed on me are what they are feeling about themselves.
Happy! Now I am happy. Happy for knowing that I am not perfect, but I can change. Happy because what other people think isn't necessarily what they think of me. Happy because I can see a great future.

BRRRRRRRRRRRRING...

Argh! Now I am weak and weary and regret is what I feel. The sound of my alarm signifies the last sound of the evening and the beginning of a new day of work. I regret that I stayed up all night thinking about it.