Random Thoughts

Parents are insane

 (This entry was edited by jlennongrrl on 06-24-01 @ 10:38 pm EDT)

         Ok, now I just don't understand parents. They're odd creatures, and I believe there isn't a sane one on the planet.

         Take, for instance, my mother. She's forty five years old. She raised two strong willed children, and is the grandmother of two young boys (not from me).

         Mother was raised as a traditional farm girl. Her family brought her up very old fashioned, and she was raised to believe you should save yourself for marriage. She was also raised to be the shy, demure woman who would eventually marry and be subserviant. Ok sure.

         Mother and I have always had a relationship that was more like friendship than anything. I always felt confident talking to her about anything...until now. I felt very badly that I could not tell her I have been with a man.

         Today, I found my chance. She came home drunk off her ass (what happened to the shy woman!?). I told her how my boyfriend was planning on buying a hotel room and taking me out one night. I assured her that nothing was going to be happening, we were just going to be hanging out. She then proceeds to tell me she doesn't care, and hell why don't I sleep with him?! Ok mom, exactly how much did you drink anyway? I looked at her with pure shock evident in my face.

         She then tells me that I'm 21, she trusts my judgement on things. If I'm gonna have sex, I'm gonna have sex. I can't be a virgin for the rest of my life.

         Can you imagine my surprise as I found myself telling her I had, in fact, slept with him already? Her only reaction was to smack herself in the head and look at me like she was shocked. Then she said not to tell dad.

         That brings me to fathers. What the heck? When a man's kids hit puberty, the boy is encouraged to "bag" as many females as he possibly can before getting married. The dad feels proud of his son for screwing girls. But LORD HAVE MERCY, lock the girls up in a tower when they hit puberty.

         When I first started dating my boyfriend, all of the males in my family gave him the much feared "death speech." It was basically them informing him that if he hurts me, he dies; and if he even dares to have a lustful thought about me, he dies even harder. My dad even ventured so far as to say, "There's an in-bounds and an out-of-bounds. I control the out-of-bounds." Sure dad. God forbid I have a free will in the matter.

         Why do girls get different treatment regarding sex? Why should girls be hermits, condemned to be virginal until a man should possibly take enough interest in them to want to marry? And why, oh why, should we live by our parents ideals about sex? We've entered the 21st century, boys and girls, and we're going to live our lives how we want to.

         Instead of trying to force your children to live by your ideals, you should try to teach them all sides of the story. Let it be their decision. Teach them about condoms, birth control, and stds. I would rather my children know all of their options than to have them sneak around behind my back - terrified to talk to me - because I have tried to impose my will on them. Let them know all of the consequences of having sex; and let them know that you are always there for them if they need help.

         Your kids should not be terrified to come to you for help. If you can't rely on your parents, who can you trust?