Y Ddraig Goch

April 24 2025 - Finding Space

Prompt: Prompt: Women need solitude in order to find again the true essence of themselves."

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This is a concept/idea that will resonate with many people; especially those of us who are married or in long-term relationships, with a busy schedule, and kids. I don't think this is unique to women. I am sure there are many men who experience this as well.

As adults we wear many different hats. We are different people depending on the situation or circle of people we find ourselves in, and the situation very often dictates which version people are going to get - forewarning if I haven't had a lot of sleep because the dog decided she needed to go to the toilet three times at 2 am, it's likely to be the heavily sarcastic version, with limited or no patience; it's not pretty or fun, it's just a fact of life.

I, like a lot of women, have A LOT on my plate: I'm mum to two young children. I'm "mum" to an aging fur-baby and baby lizard. I'm a wife. I work full time in a corporate role. I'm a chauffeur, chef, house cleaner, personal assistant, and therapist... all rolled into one for my family. The majority of the time, all of this takes priority over me. Over what I want, which FYI is mostly to sit in a corner and drink tea in peace - an unrealistic dream I know, I'd have more luck asking Santa for a pet dragon. But nether-the-less there are a lot of plates spinning or balls being juggled.

And as a society, I don't think we full appreciate the stages in adult life that we move through. Twenty year old me, who only had herself to take care off and who could stay out half the night and still function at 09:00, quickly morphed into grown up fiancée and wife me, who became mum of one, then mum of two (there are not enough books or advice to prepare you for motherhood), to mum of preteens who have way better things to do than to consider my feelings or want to spend ANY time with me. It happens fast. Without pauses. Without you realising it's happening. And all of a sudden you feel a million miles away from the person you remember being when you only had you to consider.

It not surprising, therefore, that very often it feels like there isn't a lot of time or space for us to be just us. I felt this so acutely when I first had my daughter - baby blues are real and oh my goodness did they throw me through a loop. So, when someone says they need solitude in order to find themselves - it makes sense. We need that space to realise who we were, who we are, and who we want to be - without the noise of everything else getting in the way and competing for attention.