Daily Cascade

When an Experience Is Unwelcome

Prompt:
What are negative experiences and adversities good for? And do you know how to protect and look after yourself when facing an adversity?

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None of us ever opts for a negative experience, do we? Some of us, however, climb mountains or go on safaris, but even those people are doing it for kicks and excitement.

Throughout history, our kind has dealt with ice ages, hunger and starvation, wild animals like phytons, wolves, or saber-toothed tigers, and plagues. And humanity has come out AOK. In fact, we've multiplied so much that, now, we've become the plague of the planet. No wonder nature sent us that Covid thing!

This resilience of ours shows that we humans have a knack for survival. Maybe because unsavory events present an opportunity to reflect and learn from the bad stuff, even though we may not consciously seek negative experiences.

Case in point, when a negative anything happens, it forces us to reflect on why it happened. This activates our thinking in-depth, even while we are grieving over that loss, and it brings about some looking inside ourselves to see if and how we could have prevented that loss, and if we couldn't have prevented it, could there be a reason behind it, even though that reason may be beyond our reach. In short, we try to understand the meaning behind the pain, which brings its own kind of sense and reflection into our lives, gluing together happy events with sadder ones, turning our scattered encounters into a whole, unique, and more mature life experience.

This all shows that finding meaning in life isn't only about happy experiences. It can also come from insights into our lives that may take the form of enhanced meaning, for now we can understand more how any negative event fits into our fight for survival and search for happiness.

As for me, I am not sure I can always look after and protect myself while facing intense bad experiences. So far, though, I've lived through quite a bit of sad and disconcerting life events and losses, and I'm still surviving. I find that, when such a negative thing happens, instead of any rushed or long-term plans, living through the exact hour, minute, and day -as well as I can- helps the most. Then, later on, when I am calmer, looking back into that unwanted and unwelcome experience helps me to accept it and deal with it much better.