The New and Improved Cynical Idealist

The Really Loud Guy

I think there's a guy at everyone's work this fits this bill. The guy who can't do anything with an inside voice. He can't do anything at all, ever, quietly. Never. Power tools, hammers, talking, even welding. He's just loud. I don't know how someone can make something as a loud as a sledge hammer, and make it even louder. It's almost a gift.

Our guy even does a thing with the overhead cranes. He somehow has developed a pattern of the off and on button to make almost a song out of the startup alarm. Yeah... imagine working with that all night.

Everything is accented and demonstrative. Getting out of a chair requires a barbaric yawp. Swinging a hammer requires a viking warcry. Walking up the stairs has to sound like that scene in Jurassic Park when the T-Rex first appears. Its just every single thing is louder.

The dude probably screams himself to sleep.

Yet somehow, he's one of the better guys in the workplace. He gets his work done almost every day. He shows up every day. He complains a little, and offers anecdotes on why he's complaining, and for some reason those are quiet. But the dude is a stellar worker. I will say though, the thought of the guy eating a bowl of cereal really scrapes the back of my neck. I bet his cereal tries to crawl out of the bowl while he's eating it because of how loud it must be.

Thank God for earplugs.