Odd O'blography

Canada to annex Alaska in 2026

Reposted from Real Fake News:

Canada to annex Alaska in 2026
         by staff reporter Landon Fisch

         “Canada is stepping up,” announced Prime Minister Ootin N. Boot. “We’ve worked out an agreement with President Trump to solve more than half of the U.S. border problem. Making Alaska the eleventh Canadian province will eliminate 2500 km of border entirely. And we’ll take over the responsibility of guarding more than 10,000 km of the Alaskan coast. Current Alaskan residents will be allowed to apply for Canadian citizenship or they can go back where they came from. Law enforcement and municipal workers will be welcome to stay on after completing upgraded courtesy training. And the costs of the transfer process will be covered by reciprocal tariffs on all goods imported or exported between our two great nations. That way, nobody has to pay.”
         When asked about the actual price tag, the Prime Minister had this to say, “President Trump is doing a fantastic job and we certainly appreciate this opportunity to work together on border security. In return, Canada will cede ownership of Greenland to the U.S. and acknowledge it as the eighth continent. We will also recognize its new name, Trumpland. There is no mention of money at this time, no quid pro quo. So, any subsequent monetary payment to our favorite president will be merely a tip, a gratuity for a job well done. It would in no way be a bribe because there is no upfront agreement. Everything will be open and aboveboard as per the U.S. Supreme Court ruling in Snyder vs United States.
         “GREAT DEAL FOR THE AMERICAN PEOPLE!” the U.S. President posted on X. “HORDES OF ILLEGALS POUR ACROSS NORTHERNMOST BORDER EVERY DAY! IMAGINE THEIR DISAPPOINTMENT WHEN THEY FIND OUT THEY’RE STILL IN CANADA!”