Journal/Blog

12-15-24 Inspiration

Why is it that sometimes we have to get to the 'bottom of the barrel', the 'end of our rope', or 'lost in the forest', (insert whatever saying you use/know here), before we finally discover inspiration?

I truthfully get tired of what my family and I term the 'Rocky moment' in books and/or movies.
The scene where our protagonist gets knocked down, kicked in the teeth, beaten half to death, run over by a bus, dropped off a cliff, and thrown into a volcano... then somehow miraculously makes a comeback and wins the fight/battle/competition, etc.

It may seem that I exaggerated just a bit up there , but there are some stories that feel like that is how they are told. Then, it seems nearly impossible that they should be making the comeback. It stretches the boundaries of our belief that they could have actually have been triumphant.

At worst, it makes us doubt the character.

What were they just being a baby? That broken leg and busted collarbone didn't hurt them so bad if they got back up and kicked the other guy's butt, right? In fact, if you had just gotten your stuff together and kicked their butt sooner, you wouldn't have that busted collarbone!

or

Look, we understand that you lost your job, dog, car, and your home, but wouldn't that make you realize that you should make up with your wife/girlfriend (or husband/boyfriend) faster after that stupid fight you had? In the midst of all that upset, did you really need to punish her (or him) and yourself for so long... or could you have thought - damn, I should appreciate the good I have and go make up with them faster?

When we lose faith in a character, it pulls us out of the story. It makes them two-dimensional again.

As Tony Stark said - he IS Iron Man.

And he was for me... right up until the third movie. Then, I wanted to pause the movie and maybe have a talk with him... or the screenwriter. Or maybe both. There is such a thing as taking it a step too far, when the reader or watcher wishes they could reverse time and not pick up the sequel. (Transformers 3, I'm looking at you, too. I didn't even watch anymore after that one. And I firmly prefer to pretend anything after 2 never happened.)

At best, it makes us doubt the author.

Why in the world would THAT be the best outcome, right?

Well, in my estimation, I can give the author another chance. They are one individual writing many stories about many characters. One book/movie may be fantastic. Another one might suck. Sometimes, it feels more like a crapshoot on any given day. (Hey, that's a feeling I get myself when trying to write, too.)

I can forgive doubting the author because they have every chance of redeeming themselves in another story with another character. Maybe the last cruddy one was because they ticked off their muse towards the ending. Or they were tired of writing the story and just wanted it to be done. Or they needed it done fast, so they could get the paycheck.

Regardless, I'm willing to give the author another chance. Most of the time, at least.

But the character? Nope. Once the man behind the screen is revealed, it's darned near impossible to convince me otherwise.

So, inspiration... yep, that's what I made the topic of this post. And the title.

Why does it take us nearly giving up (or giving up) to find our inspiration finally?

I don't know to be honest, but I have a few theories.

It's magic.
Like two magnets of the polarity, the harder you search for inspiration, the further it runs away from you. Stop beating your head against that writer's block and go do something else. Then, when you come back, seemingly miraculously - there it is!! Sitting right on the page where you had been looking for it all along. Sheesh. What a silly goose you were, right?

It's compounding frustration skewing your perspective.
Can't see the forest for the trees, can you? Well, that's because this tree isn't the right one. And that tree sounds stupid. That other tree couldn't possibility exist in this universe. You've already looked at the tree behind you. The tree in front of you is too far away. The tree to your left should be on your right and vice versa. Why are you even looking at trees? You should be looking for lamp posts. Or zebras. Or a turkey sandwich. How did you get in the desert?

It's self-doubt that is making it impossible to see what is actually very real and possible.
This is never going to happen. Why did I even start this in the first place? There are a million other things I should be doing right now that would be more productive. Why can't I do this faster/better/longer/shorter, etc? I've never finished one, why should I think I ever can? All the stories about all the things have already been told. Even if I get it done, no one will like it. No one will like me. It will never sell. Why am I wasting my - and more importantly - everyone else's time on this?

So, finally we give up. We walk away. Put it away. Forget (or try at least) about it. Tell ourselves, we - are - done.

And life goes on. We eat, sleep, go to work, take care of our homes, talk to friends, spend time with family... we live.

Then, one day... BAM! Inspiration strikes. Bolt of lightning to the head. Or heart. Or feet or maybe the earlobe. To each their own.

And you are overjoyed! And dismayed! Because it hit at a time where you are not able to do the thing you have been wanting to do!
Writing while driving is frowned upon. Belting out those awesome lyrics in the middle of the office could get you fired. Stepping out of surgery to finally run that marathon likely isn't the best reasoning. Painting your masterpiece on the side of the house you are trying to sell isn't a very good marketing tactic.

But! It happened, so you hold on to that feeling and covet it, nurture it - bookmark the elusive thing because, oh my gosh, is it hard to find.

You bide your time and then... write, sing, play the instrument, run the marathon, paint the masterpiece... you do what you were meant to do.

Because you've been knocked down, kicked around, thrown off a cliff, and lost your way in the forest... only to find that every tree is the right tree, depending upon how you look at it, and there are so many of them. All there for your choosing. Anytime you want.

And if you choose the wrong one, then pick another. If you get lost again, don't fear it because you will find your way.

You find a way to believe in yourself because - you should. You are worth believing in. You can do this.

And if you stumble, it's ok. Just keep getting back up.

You realize that somewhere, sometime, for someone - you are that person's inspiration. You.

Have your Rocky moment... or moments.

They are frustrating and sometimes, yes, they feel ridiculous. They are undoubtedly not the favorite part of your life story, but they are a very real part of your story. A very integral part of your growth and progress.

Finding your inspiration, sharing your journey... that inspires others to not give up, to continue searching for their own.