My Conversion Story Journal

October 5, 2024

Rosh Hashana just ended and Yom Kipper is coming up. It was my second Rosh Hashana. I ate lunches and dinners with people that I met one ago on this holiday. My host who did not know me at all (nor I her) and had opened her home to me for the holiday last year has become a good friend whom I love dearly. I have spent time looking back over the past month at the previous year, but it did not hit me the depth of the change in my life until this holiday. When I sat at tables of friends who were strangers a year ago. When I prayed with friends who didn't know I existed a year ago. When I hugged and celebrated with friends who I never knew that I would know and love so much like family. When I was able to do non-Jewish things that others couldn't do and my friends were surprised because they had forgotten that I wasn't a Jew. When I walked home late every night at 11:30 or midnight to my own apartment. And when I was reminded that on this holiday one year ago that October 7 was decreed and that in a short 10 days from that date, life would change forever for every living Jew all over the world.

One year ago my life was decreed to change so drastically. I have a new job. I live in a new city. I attend the most amazing synagogue. I have the most amazing community. I have new friends that I love so much and have said goodbye to so many that I loved. One year ago my life was so different. Two years ago, my life was on the verge of change. Three years ago, my life is unrecognizable. Who was I even back then? I don't know that woman anymore, and I never want to go back.


What was decreed for my life for the next year? What are my blessings going to be? What are my struggles going to be? What will be the fate for all mankind over the next year? What will become of the hostages? I cannot even speculate. I never thought that I would be where I am sitting right now with my life how it is at this moment. The great, the good, the bad, and the worst is all decided for the next year. All I can do is trust Hashem. My last year was a lesson in bitachon. What will this year's lesson be?

I did struggle with one thing over the holiday. During holidays, no technology can be used. That meant that my cell phone was off for three days. One of those three days was my daughter D2's birthday. I wanted to turn on my phone and call her to wish her a happy birthday. I didn't turn on my phone and call until after the holiday and after Shabbat. She wasn't upset because she knew I didn't forget about her. It was really hard for me to not pick up the phone and call her, or turn on my computer and send her a quick message. It certainly isn't always easy being observant. That is for sure.

Shana Tova and Shavua Tov to all my Jewish friends who read this. May this year bring you (everyone reading this) joy, blessings, and positive life changes.