This is my blog & my hope, writing daily will help me see my progress and log supporters. |
After getting divorced in 2015, I met a girl online and we quickly 'fell in love'. We spoke for many months before I decided to travel to the US so we could finally meet and plan our future. Upon arrival in Reno, Nevada, Cathy met me at the airport and the moment we hugged, I felt sick. I knew in that instant I was never going to be in love with this girl. She was beautiful and we got along well, but the brain does not dictate to the heart. It was chemistry...or a lack thereof that determined everything once I 'smelled' the stranger who I thought I knew so well. I tried so hard to force myself to love Cathy, but after a week of smiling and denying anything was wrong, and with another two weeks until I was to return to Australia, I made the decision to fake it as best I could. Apparently, I wasn't very convincing, but we made the best of the situation. I can honestly say that despite the obvious, I had a great holiday. When the time came for me to leave, I kissed her, knowing that I would never see her again. Once I arrived back in Australia, I told Cathy the truth. At first, things were OK between us. I hoped we could at least salvage a friendship, but as the weeks went by, things began to turn. It appeared to me that the bitterness of loss was rearing its ugly head. Cathy started texting me when she had been drinking, and I made the call to stop speaking with her. I felt terrible about what had happened. I was naive and thought I was in love with her when nothing could have been further from the truth. I absolutely did love her, but loving someone and being in love with them are two completely different states of being. I hurt someone I truly cared about and I swore I would never fall in love again until I had met them in person. Cathy and I flew from Reno to Las Vegas for the weekend. I will never forget the extremes I saw. Vegas is a great place to visit, and I mean no offence when I say that I wouldn't want to live there. Obviously, I didn't get to see much of the real America, and if I had had more time to explore, my view would likely change. After the Port Arthur Massacre, in Tasmania in 1996, the Australian Government made gun ownership illegal for the general public. All automatic and semiautomatic, pump and lever action rifles were completely banned. Some farmers could own bolt action rifles, and police and security guards (and criminals, who fortunately mostly shoot each other) were allowed handguns and semiautomatic rifles. No matter your opinion on this matter, the stats do not lie, and since then there have been very few mass shootings recorded in our country. Ironically, I love guns and admit that when the decision was made to buy back all firearms from the public, I was outraged. One person's decision to murder thirty-five innocent men, women and children (not to mention the scores of people who were wounded), affected everyone in the country. At first, we were horrified that so many were dead, and for no logical reason. And then, because of his actions, we were all punished by losing our right to own firearms...at least, that's how I saw it then. But, when I was visiting the US, I contacted a guy who organised shoots out in the Nevada Dessert. I paid US$300 to fire ten guns of my choice. Cathy and I had an amazing afternoon and it remains one of the highlights of my trip. There were many other things about America that I enjoyed. Driving on the right-hand side of the road was a blast once I got used to it. Another highlight was when I got to spend Thanksgiving with Cathy and her family. One day, it had been snowing heavily and we drove from Reno to South Lake, Tahoe, driving all the way around the lake. At one point, we stopped so I could build a snowman. I have only seen snow on a few occasions during my life, and to me, it was such an amazing experience. I can say with all honesty that as much as I was sorry for hurting Cathy, I certainly do not regret going to visit her. I learned a valuable lesson and got to spend three weeks in a country that has so much in common with Australia, and yet, is so very different. |