GWEEP!

Ralph In Love.

Narrator (GRAHAM - A GUINEA PIG): The Newsfeed was dead. You have to understand this or none of the rest of the story makes much sense!

Ebenezzzzzzzzz Adherennium Scrooge, General Manager of the Hoolighan's Hottest Humbug Factory was hoarding Gift Points.

RALPH (Also a GUINEA PIG): ...

TOBY (Maybe you've guessed? Also a GUINEA PIG): Well he's got to be careful, I mean he's sponsoring that Australian Chappie for NaNoWriMo and it's going really well. He's gone through three keyboards already, and that's just this week.

GRAHAM: Ahem! Needless to say, despite having an EXCELLENT reason for hoarding a specific number of Gift Points.

RALPH: ...

TOBY: 136,259 words so far, I mean that's utterly BRILLIANT.

GRAHAM: Wow. Actually that is rather impressive, but could you put a sock in it please Toby, I'm trying to narrate a story.

TOBY: Socks!

GRAHAM: Wha..

TOBY: You just reminded me, he can't do his Advent Anecdotes thingy.

GRAHAM: Why ever not?

TOBY: No socks. Not a sock to be had anywhere, not even for ready money. The Ninja Monkeys have bought 'em all up.

RALPH: G.. g..

GRAHAM: Does he have a plan B?

(Graham and Toby enjoy a brief nibbling of a stick of celery left over from yesterday's newsfeed invasion)

TOBY: Of course. I think it involves posting YouTube videos every day and asking folks to pick 'an advent window to open'.

GRAHAM: Riiight! And then what happens?

TOBY: Everyone who picks a window gets a merit badge on Christmas Eve or thereabouts, and the one(s) who pick the winning 'window' also get extra badges, which he'll bribe folks to give so they count for Community Recognition.

GRAHAM: Sounds overly complicated and fraught with difficulties. Typical of him.

TOBY: Err. Graham. What's wrong with Ralph? He hasn't said a word.

RALPH: She's BEAUTIFUL!

(Graham and Toby exchange a worried glance)

GRAHAM and TOBY: Uh-oh!