GWEEP!

Halloween Guinea Pigs

IMPORTANT WARNING
THIS NEWSFEED NONSENSE CONTAINS DESCRIPTIONS OF FLASHING LIGHTS!

[Opening strains of Saint-Saëns Danse Macabre accompanied by definite squeak]

[Ultraviolet lights begin to strobe - please note this is the bit we warned you about]

[Enter Adherennium on unicycle, juggling three skeletal Guinea Pigs]

GUINEA PIG ONE (Ralph): This is an unexpectedly good effect isn't it? How's he managed this then?

GUINEA PIG TWO (Toby): He used some of that paint that only shows up under ultraviolent light and used a strobe effect so we're looking like a spooky cartoon for Halloween.

GUINEA PIG THREE (Graham): Quoth the Raven “Gweep!”

(Ralph and Toby frown collectively at Graham - which is difficult when you are a skeletal guinea pig)

RALPH: I went to a Halloween party earlier.

TOBY: Was it any good?

RALPH: Yes, well apart from this lady who was dressed as catwoman, she went around knocking people's glasses off tables.

TOBY: How many witches does it take to change a lightbulb?

RALPH: I think it depends what they are changing the lightbulb into.

GRAHAM: Did you know that Demons are a Ghoul's best friend?

RALPH: Graham that's terrible. Tell me a vampire joke, I'm a sucker for those.

GRAHAM: What's a vampire's favourite fruit?

TOBY: That would be Neck-tarines.

RALPH: My house is haunted by an OCD Skeleton, can't stop cleaning. I call him the grim sweeper.

GRAHAM: Speaking of sweeping, what do you call a witch's garage?

TOBY: A Broom closet.

RALPH: I dropped my Jack-O-Lantern on the way out and it's a bit damaged.

GRAHAM: You need a pumpkin patch.

RALPH: Hey, did you hear about the coffin sale?

TOBY: That's the last thing I need.

GRAHAM: Knock, knock.

RALPH & TOBY: Who's there?

GRAHAM: Witch.

RALPH & TOBY: Witch who.

GRAHAM: Witch of you has my candy?

ALL: Happy Halloween Everyone.