My Conversion Story Journal

June 2, 2024

Shabbat was perfect. It's not often that anyone can say that a day was perfect. I ran late (like always), but there was an energy in the air and in the singing that I had missed for a while. For a whole day, the balance between light and dark seemed to be restored. I didn't feel the pressure of darkness. I felt the light that I have been missing. It wasn't one particular person. It wasn't even a group of people. It was the entire day. It was the prayers, the people, the singing, the Torah, the message, the food, the nap, the everything. There was a deep feeling that even though the world was not at peace, my soul was at peace.

I was where I belonged, and I could feel it.

I left the community very late. I didn't get to do Havdalah. I ended the Shabbat driving home. Never have I ever felt the separation of Shabbat and the weekday like I did this time. I could feel the great light leave, and it was sad. I felt like I lost something, but the Shabbat just ended and the weekday began. It was almost midnight when I made it home.

When work gets exhausting, life gets overwhelming, and people let me down, for one special day, none of that matters. Shabbat.

Best Shabbat yet.