Writing Blog Number 2

20240509 Answering Questions About Australia

Answering Questions About Australia

So, I recently listed some things people in other countries are confused about the US. Some people here got extremely upset and angry that I would dare say anything against the USA, but that’s their right. Blind defence of country is rather prevalent the world over.

And, for the record, I did look up everything I included. While I know some on the list were only applicable to certain parts of the US, being told that some were outright lies I feel is also wrong.

Still, I then asked if people wanted to know anything about Australia. So, in the vein, I will answer the questions posed to me on this very site.

I’ll start with the serious ones. Well, the ones that require serious answers.

Why did Australia let their government take away their guns?
Okay, for those not aware, in 1996 a young man went to the Port Arthur historic site and killed 35, wounding 23 more, over the course of half a day. After it was over, the federal government banned automatic weaponry, heavily restricted semi-automatic weaponry, put tight restrictions on all firearms, established a firearm registry, put an extended waiting period for purchase of weapons, and stopped huge sections of the population from owning guns. This is where people get it wrong.
         The government did not just do this as being a nanny state – the Australian people asked for it to be done (with exceptions being those on the far right side of politics; this is not me being political, this is simply the way it went down). The federal government at the time was the right-wing Howard government, and the laws went through with bipartisan support. Why would Australians ask for guns to be removed?
         The media at the time drummed up a storm (again, except for the far right wing media): “Don’t let Australia become as bad as the USA.” This is not me saying that – that was the opinion of Australians and the media and it was bandied about wherever you looked. Posters even proclaimed this. I will say that, at the time, the US ambassador to Australia took offence at what was being said, but that’s the media and the way the USA is portrayed here for you.
         Wow, way to start heavy.

Would it be safe for a young woman to travel alone to Australia?
Well, that depends on where you go. In the big cities on the east coast – Sydney, Melbourne, Brisbane – think of them as like big cities in the USA. Would you feel safe travelling alone in those? If yes, then yes here. Adelaide and Perth, generally good… but listen to the locals about which suburbs to avoid. Rural areas – country Victoria, southern Western Australia, the coastal areas of Queensland, all of Tasmania, the Australian Capital Territory, the coastal areas of South Australia, plus the state’s Yorke Peninsula, Barossa Valley and Clare Valley are fine. The Northern Territory and a lot of the central outback… there’s a reason Wolf Creek could be made, add the Falconio murder, Ivan Milat…
         In the end, yes, in most touristy places. But it is like everywhere else in the Western world. There’s psychos everywhere.

Is there a lot of police brutality over there? Do the Aborigines get treated like the African Americans, profiled, unfairly convicted, etc?
Yes. Unfortunately. And, in fact, I think it may be worse in Australia.
         Indigenous Australians make up around 2% of the population, and around 20% of those incarcerated. Indigenous people are 20 times more likely to die in custody. Indigenous people are more likely to be pulled over in “random” police car stops.
         Here’s a personal story: I was at a local park about 2 years ago with a group of 6 Indigenous friends. One was a musician and we met up so he could play me the music he’d written for a song I’d done the lyrics for, and a few of his friends came by as well. I was the only white guy. A police car pulled up, the cops got out, came directly to us and asked if I was okay, if these people were threatening me. One arced up and they threatened to arrest him. It did end fine, but I have rarely been that embarrassed.
         Of course, there are issues with Indigenous gangs, with young Indigenous being out of control in Alice Springs (don’t get me started on the social workers involved…) and with Indigenous people being much more likely to be drunk in public. But how much of that is informed by police and societal challenges, and how much is otherwise, no-one knows.
         Having said that, if you are poor, you will also be harassed. I was threatened with incarceration for being homeless last year!
         I call Australia a police state for a reason. The majority are nasty.

Phew! That was heavy… So, let’s go to the most insulting question, and one we get all the freakin’ time:

Why do Australians throw shrimp on their Barbie dolls? And is it like... ceviche? Or full shrimp?
First, shrimp are not Australian. They are a different creature and edible ones don’t live in Australian waters. We eat Prawns. Second, Barbie would melt on the barbie, and smell awful.
         While I get the humour, this is actually one of the few things Australians find grossly insulting… and it’s all because of a Paul Hogan television commercial.

Okay, the rest of the questions!

Why do cassowarys hate humans?
They don’t! Okay, maybe they do. But, really, they hate everything. In fact, if you add teeth and fingers with claws to a cassowary and turn its beak into a snout, current palaeontological evidence is that it would be the closest to a late Cretaceous dinosaur as you’re going to see in the world today.
         But, really, it’s emus who are this issue. While both could disembowel you with a kick, the Australian army fought a war against the emus.
         And lost.
         https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Emu_War  

How big is Australia, really?
It is almost as large as the contiguous 48 US states. We have 6 states, and 5 of the capital cities have populations in excess of a million people. My state, South Australia, is a mid-sized state, and is 150% the size of Texas. Your largest state is Alaska, which is 1.7 million km2; ours is Western Australia which is 2.5 million km2. And yet, our population is only 26 million people, which is 2/3 the population of the state of California.
         To give you an idea of some of the natural disasters. The flooding of 2013 would have covered Pennsylvannia to Indiana and down to South Carolina; The Ash Wednesday bushfires in 1983 would have burnt an area from Oklahoma to Arkansas and south to the Mexican border.
         We don’t have tornadoes; we call hurricanes cyclones, but they are the same. We don’t have as many earthquakes as the US; we have less active volcanic areas as well. We also have far less fresh water sources; the US has a much more extensive river system, which is a reason why the population is more widely distributed.

Do you call everyone "mate" or just friends... or just close friends? Or something else?
This is something that was fading. My generation and those before, yeah – we call everyone “mate”. People you know, people you don’t know, people you’re angry with, people you really like. Everyone is a “mate.”
         The people who came “of age” in the late 90s, early 2000s moved away from it; this was also the time when the Internet first blew up and social media started. They didn’t adopt another phrase (though the UK “bruv” was everywhere), just stopped using “mate.” However, the current crop of teens and 20-somethings use “mate” to refer to their friends. I think it is trying to re-establish a cultural identity of their own. So it’s coming back.

Are all Australians alcoholics?
Yep.



What?
         Fine. Australians actually sit around 25th in the world when it comes to alcohol consumption per capita. The USA sits in the 30s or 40s, so, yes, we drink more than the USA. And we do drink a lot. But the UK and Germany drink more. So… YMMV.

Why does everything in Australia want to kill you in the most painful way possible? Looking at you insects, animals, nature
Unfair!
         Accurate, but still unfair.
         8 of the 12 deadliest snakes in the world can be found in Australia or Australian waters; we have the only venomous mammals; it was recently discovered that goannas have a venomous bite as well; 5 of the 10 deadliest spiders are Australian; kangaroos can cause huge damage with their two-legged rear limb kick; emus and cassowaries can rip open flesh with their claws; magpies will swoop you and attack until you bleed; the blue-ringed octopus is the most venomous; the box jellyfish is nasty; the Irukandji jellyfish is considered the have the most dangerous toxin the animal kingdom.
         Over 1000 species of native Australian flora is considered harmful, and a full 10% of Australian plants produce cyanide.
         So, why?
         Evolutionarily, it’s because Australia was isolated and so the animals had only one another to defend against, and these defences developed into an arms race of nasty proportions.
         Realistically, it’s because Mother Nature uses Australia as a proving ground for what she wants to inflict upon the rest of the world.
         And don’t get me started about penguins…

I hope that answers your questions!