Dew Drop In April 2024 Poems

Computer Blues

Computer Blues (revised)

Sometimes I think
My computer is plotting against me
And only me!
Trying deliberately to drive me mad.

My computer knows
When I am busy,
Then it throws a hissy fit.

Here are some of my pet peeves

Constantly Crashing

It often refuses to boot up,
And crashes constantly.
It loses data it had the day before.
Or five minutes before.

Or refuses to save the data.
Just messing with me.
As it loves toying with me
Making me yell and scream
On my computer screen.

Can’t Open Files

Often when trying to open
A document in Word,

The Word open file button
Fails to respond
Sometimes you have to wait
Five minutes for it to respond.

Or when trying to open a file
The computer opens a random file
Instead.

Or when trying to open a document
It kicks you out
Often several times

Sometimes you can
Open a copy
Sometimes not.

Sometimes you can save the document
Under the same name
Often you have to save it
Under another name.

Sometimes it refuses to open
A document saying
There is a dialogue
Box open.

Which is a lie
There is no
Dialogue box
Visible.


Random Blue Screen of Death

Cursing up a blue stream of blue curses
As the blue screen of death
Marches across the dark blue screen
Smiling at me.

Years ago my computer
converted everything
to the number 6 endlessly scrolling
down the blue screen of death.
as it did not like
that I had spilled coffee
on it!


Endless Non-Response Spinning blue wheels


Open the document once
Not twenty times!

Quit with this Endless
spinning blue wheels.
In endless loops

Until I have to reboot
the computer.


Computer error Haiku Codes


Don’t give me computer haiku error messages
That only makes sense to a computer geek.

Such as general error reading files
Who is this general Failure
And why is he reading my files?

Or can’t save the file
Or can’t save the “An open file”
When it just did ten times in a role,

Or kicks me out, while losing my data.

Copy and Paste Wiping out document text


Or when doing a simple copy-and-paste function
The computer defaults to the last command
Making you have to do it again and again
Up to five times sometimes

And on a random basis
The copy and paste function
Wipes out all data
In the document

And to add insult to injury
Deletes all previously saved version

Sending the data
Into computer limbo land
Never to be found again

All without warning
Just zip it's gone!

Frozen Num Lock

Another thing
My computer loves doing
Is on a random basis,

Turn the numbs lock on
Without warning
Turning text into numbers.

Requiring you to manually
Turn off the number lock.

All Caps Pops On a Random basis

Once in a while
The all-caps button
Mysteriously turns on
Turning everything into caps.

Fortunately
Usually, there is a warning flash.

Defaulting to Foreign Languages

A very annoying feature
Is that when you log in from overseas
Everything defaults to a foreign language
Usually without the ability to change
It back to English

Despite the fact
Your settings are all in English.

There may be a hidden button
To change language
Written in the language
Used in that country.

AI hallucinations

AI is a great tool
But sometimes
It gets things wrong
Or it makes stuff up!

Google Bard
Once tried to convince me

The US Embassy In Seoul had moved
Five years before To a new location
Outside of Seoul.

Only problem was
That was an AI hallucination
Based on a proposal almost
ten years ago.


Mission Accomplished

And all the other gobbledygook messages
That pops up every five minutes, it seems
As the computer slowly drives me mad.

Flashing the final insult
User-driven mad
Mission accomplished.