Game of Thrones - House Lannister

I Should Be Getting A Refund, Not Paying Taxes!

"Mr. Johnson, I'm here to do an audit."

"Why are you auditing me? You're lucky I didn't claim more deductions than I did. I really should be getting a refund, not paying taxes!"

"Well, Mr. Johnson, you claimed a lot of deductions that you're not allowed to."

"Like what, may I ask?"

"Well, you can't claim your pet dog."

"Sure I can. He's for medical reasons. He's a stress-reducer."

"Do you have a letter from the doctor?"

"I don't need a letter from a doctor. I know that my dog helps reduce my stress. I don't need a doctor to tell me what I already know."

"Be that as it may, it's not allowed."

"HUMPH!"

"Now, also what's this about a clown outfit? I don't see any income generated with it?"

"Of course not! I don't charge people for making them laugh. But it's still a service I provide. My family and friends always get a good laugh."

"I'm sorry, Mr. Johnson, that's not allowed either."

"HUMPH!"

"And what about these deductions for your work on doing repairs to your home."

"That's right. If I would have paid someone it would have cost me the amount I deducted."

"But Mr. Johnson, this is your house. You can't pay yourself for doing repairs to your own home."

"Well, it shows what you know, Mr. Smarty Pants! I was able to pay myself just fine, it's all written down right there in black and white."

"No, Mr. Johnson. That's not allowed either."

"Now, what's this for your wife's jewelry on her birthday, anniversary and Christmas?"

"Now, that's a legitimate claim, as much as they all are! If I didn't buy my wife nice things for the holidays, and special occasions, she would make my life a living hell. If she disrupted my life, I wouldn't be able to be productive at work. It would cost a lot more in lost wages!"

"Mr. Johnson, the last three years have deductions just like these. When I'm done here, you're going to owe a great deal to the IRS. I suggest you make plans now to make a substantial down payment and make monthly payments."

"Are they tax deductible?"

"HUMPH!"

(365 Words)