Down The Rabbit Hole

A. 1. Reflections

"Reflections"

1. "Reflections" – We just got through a topsy-turvy 2023. Reflect on lessons learned and how you will use them in 2024. (<1000 words)

         Last year, 2023, was a year full of surprises, heartbreak, and emotional and physical trauma. I learned that I wasn't as cool as I thought I was in my younger days. I learned that those people who warned me from the time I was sixteen until 2023 were right, and I was a stubborn, misguided, and naive fool.

         Yes, I smoked and enjoyed beer a lot! In 2023, I was diagnosed with throat cancer. It started with a lump in my neck. I thought and expected it to be an infection. I was shocked when the biopsy came back positive, and the reason for my dramatic weight loss ( I had loss down to 80 pounds) was cancer. They also informed me I needed a G-tube because the cancer had eaten away my epiglottis. I underwent radiation and chemotherapy. That was hard.

         I have been told that I am a lucky person. The treatments worked, and right now, I am cancer-free. But still—there is and will be a price to pay. I can not speak. I can make noises, talk with my hands, write, and read lips and I will forever have this G-tube. Other than the few pureed recipes I have invented that make regular food taste good, I have to take my nourishment through the tube.

Don't get me wrong, I may have quit smoking, but every so often, I think I want one. I don't think of it every day like I did a while back, but I still think of it. The Beer? I don't crave it anymore.

         Now, when I think of those vices, I remember where I am today and what put me here. I still am a non-smoker and an non-drinker.

W/C = 313