Wonderland Going Down The Rabbit Hole 2

D. Advice From A Caterpillar 1. Identity Who Are You?

D. Advice From A Caterpillar
1. Identity Crisis Who Are You? Create a blog Entry that deals with moments that you questions yourself over any decision.

When I started to work at the Nursing Home, I asked myself why I am taking this job. My boyfriend had broken up with me and started seeing a Nurses Aid at the hospital and he took a job as an Orderly and we we had talked about working in the Nursing Profession when we were at College. I thought if I ever wanted to get married, Nursing is where it is at. I worked in Nursing 40 some years. I became a QMA and did the Nursing thing but my heart wasn't in it. I knew I wanted to write.

I sold Avion but it is hard to get a lot of sales. I needed a guaranteed paycheck every 2 weeks. I had to give up Avon. I started spending more then I was making. I did the Nursing thing. Most of the patients I loved but some were a challenge.

A decision my mother and I made 3 months ago before Dad died. Dad was in pain and kept trying to get out of bed, pulling out his IVS. The Nurse said we could put Dad on Ativan to calm him down. We could put him on Morphine, too for his pain. We had to let him be in Hospice. Mom and I decided to do Hospice, have him be on Ativan and Morphine. The Ativan calmed him down but Dad didn't know us anymore later that day and he just slept. I would tell him I love him and he looked at me then went back to sleep. He was like this until he died. I wonder if Mom and I should have said no to the Ativan. I worked in Nursing and we had to sedate patients and calm them down. It was sad. I prayed Mom and I made the right decision. Dad died 3 days later.

At work, I had to make decisions about calling the police on the mental health patients. The one woman was banging on the walls and almost broke the glass in the glass doors. She woke up everyone. I called my Supervisor and she told me to call the EMTS. The EMTS came over and was mad at me because they were short of help and said the woman and her problems were a waste of time. If someone had a heart attack, they couldn't get the person because they were wasting their time with me and this mentally ill person. It was hard to decide when to call for help when the patients was acting out. I only did what my boss advised.

Sometimes, when my sinuses act up, I have to decide how sick I am and do I need to see a Doctor or not. I feel I should be able to handle my own Medical needs. One Urgent Care blew me off like I wasn't important. Nice.

Other decisions to make in life. What car to buy. After our house burned down, we had to choose what new house to build. My sister wanted me to move to Florida to live by her and we almost decided to move there but we stayed in Indiana and rebuilt our house. Things worked out. All we can do in life is pray and make the best decisions that we can. Decisions. They are never easy.

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