Curiouser and Curiouser

G-2: Paint the White Roses Red

Mistakes happen. Some beyond our control. Create a blog entry (or static item) telling of such a time(s) that has happened and what you did to rectify the situation (if any). (<1000 words)

My life is a constant series of consequences of actions that I didn't consider properly.

My goodness that sounds like a pretentious thing to say. Ah well. The thing is, I tend to not consider (or know) what the consequence will be before I take action, and so I tend not to remember the mistakes. Instead, I deal with the consequences, whatever they are, and use those to direct my life forward. I try not to look back. I have a difficult time thinking what changes I would make to my past, because it's over and done. And any mistakes have been changed to design elements of my life.

That's what we call it when someone makes a mistake in their knitting. Imagine that you're knitting along, and suddenly you realize that twenty rows back, you purled when you should have knitted or created an extra yarn over, or something that if you're going to try to fix it, it's going to create a mess the likes of which can only be imagined with reference to tangles or maybe plates of spaghetti. When that happens, a knitter needs to decide whether it's going to bug (and thus need fixing) or if it's a design element—some random addition to a pattern that makes a project unique to that particular knitter and time. After all, most mistakes that happen to a piece of knitting are just techniques that are not part of that pattern, and would be perfectly suited to something different.

So, I try to live life so that I don't dwell on mistakes.

But I have to admit that I do notice them when they happen in my blood sugar. That's one thing that I live with constantly, monitoring how my insulin and my food have interacted. The most common mistake I make with regard to blood sugar is using slightly too much insulin. I remember one morning. I had taken insulin before eating breakfast, and then, gotten ready to do a yoga dvd (exercise is important). Unfortunately, I didn't realize how complicated yoga can be, and how much gentle exercise can drive my blood sugar down. About twenty minutes after starting the workout, I was starting to feel off, so I tested. 19. That was the lowest I've ever seen my blood sugar.

When mistakes are made, the most important thing isn't dwelling on what I did wrong (although it does help to know that I shouldn't exercise directly after a meal because it gives me bad results). Instead, the most important thing is to figure out how to correct the error. In this case, it involved eating quick glucose. Through careful experimentation, I've discovered that I have a difficult time convincing my brain on lows that it should eat a glucose tablet. I know I should, at least when I'm totally self aware. But I have literally sat, staring at a bottle of glucose tablets, crying because I didn't want to eat one because I was already thirsty and they are so dry.

I'm reminded of a friend who was having a low at her kitchen table. Her younger child came in an saw that Mama was having difficulty, so put a juice box in front of her. My friend just stared at the juice box. Then the older child came in, took in the situation, opened the juice box and put it in her hand. Only then did my friend start drinking and come out of her low. When our brains aren't fed, sometimes, they don't function properly. So, I know I won't eat a glucose tablet. I will eat a small piece of hard candy or six jelly beans, which is generally enough to get me back out of danger.

The other major food related consequence are highs. They generally come when I eat less carbohydrate than I thought I would for the insulin I took. They're generally simpler to deal with (because I can just take some insulin) but more problematic, because the long term consequences of highs are all the problems that people think of when they think uncontrolled diabetes—including amputation and blindness. I would rather have a low than a high, because taking a shot is harder than eating sugar. So, I tend to run low, aiming for around 100 at all times, and most of the time I get there. According to my monitor, I've had about fifteen low glucose events in the past thirty days, but only five highs.

Of course, at the same time, lows are a more acute and dangerous situation. The long term result of highs are quality of life issues, but a low can kill fast.

On the other hand, who wants to live forever? I just try not to dwell.

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eyestar~*


Wow! Thanks for sharing. I think the advice of not dwelling on mistakes is valid...it is done. Deal with what is and move on. Life is a tapestry ..the knitting example is so true! LOL