Journalistic Intentions

Signs, Can't You Read the Sign?

         This photo of a tangle of street signs caused me to start singing to myself and transported me to a trip down memory lane. I've amazed myself that I remember every word of the lyrics to a classic Canadian rock song performed by The Five Man Electrical Band. Hey, no one was with me to point out that singing is not what I do well or with any talent whatsoever, so I belted it out. Yes, I'll admit I squawk, screech and sometimes croak. I like to believe I project the feeling, the intensity the song writer intended. And I proved my memory is alive and kicking.

         Signs, signs, everywhere a sign, blockin' out the scenery, breakin' my mind, do this, don't do that, can't you read the sign?

         Actually, no I cannot always read a sign, or more accurately interpret a sign. When you're whipping along in a vehicle you have perhaps a second or two to not only notice a sign, but figure out its meaning. Does anyone know what the intention of the skidding/wiggling motorcycle could be? I recognize the slippery when wet sign, but does this one mean only motorcycles may slip and slide in that specific spot?

         All drivers have seen the stick figure road signs, right? The one that showcases a stick figure peering through binoculars means what? Beware of binocular users? Are they somewhat akin to oblivious cellphone users blundering along and too pre-occupied to worry about traffic? I live and drive in Canada and I see Beware of Moose signage everywhere. Am I now expected to see these binocular-blinded people bursting forth from the trees and stumbling onto a highway side-by-side with a daredevil moose?

         Sometimes, my attention span wanders and wobbles, most often during an extended road trip. Yes, I understand a red slash through something is a startling reminder to not do that. But what exactly is that? What have I been warned not to do? Don't strike a moose? Don't hit a pedestrian? Avoid a one-way street? Don't drive on the shoulder? All logical considerations. Do I need the reminder? Yes, as a driver of many years, I do know what to avoid.

         Do you know there are signs that admonish me to Stay Alert, Drowsiness Kills, Don't Drink and Drive, and Speed Kills. Duh, as if. Of course, these are dangers. Some attempt to be subtle: Arrive Alive. That's always been my intention.

         Big cities seem to love their poles situated at corners and overgrown with signage. All manner of advertizing obscures traffic missives. Arrows seem to point in any and all directions. Parking This Way. No Parking Permitted. No Overnight Parking. Road Narrows. One Lane/Two Lanes Ahead. Bus Lane. Bicycle Lane. Walk .Don't Walk. Be Prepared to Stop. No Stopping. Slow. Caution. Speed Limit Posted. Trucks Turning. Lost Dog. Apartment For Rent. Need A Job? Single? Call...Traffic Tickets? Call... Your Sign Here.

         Driving in Canada and navigating the road signs is not for the faint of heart. Deer Crossing. Moose Crossing. Geese Crossing. Turtle Crossing. Wildlife Crossing. Falling Trees. Falling Rocks. Falling Snow. Falling Temperatures.

         Some signs just command extra attention/scrutiny. Who designed the parking for pregnant women sign that some people interpret as a fat man grilling on a bbq? It can be an either/or sign.

         One iconic traffic sign has all but disappeared; the yellow triangle. Now it's a white sign emblazoned with a red triangle and it indicates yield. The you-may-or-may-not-have-to-stop sign. Even the new design is rare in my neck of the woods.

         I believe the first sign we learn to recognize and strive to obey is the red octagonal stop sign. We expect it to be at intersections. It is now attached to school buses. Because of its subliminal message it also appears in malls festooned across store windows. Hey, stop and look.

         Have I ever felt compelled to create my own sign(s)? So, I got me a pen and a paper and I made up my own little sign. In a word, no. I'm not a protester or a panhandler. I do not create signs.

         Wait, I replied to that thought too quickly. I have admired a new sign posted at some businesses and I believe it is directed to me. This is where I admit/accept that I am a klutz, a talent I've never wanted. I have the ability to trip on or is it over air. Furniture randomly attacks me and I suspect walls jump out at me. The great outdoors is delightful but for one glaring problem. It is uneven, bumpy and littered with klutz hazards. Ice, snow, rain, sunshine they all stamp their marks on the landscape that challenge my fragile balance. I am getting to my point. There's now a genuine sign that depicts a stick figure losing their grip on walking and about to tumble. I never modelled or advocated for such a sign, but it exists. I'd wear it emblazoned on a t-shirt to warn others. Here comes the ambling-impaired, the supreme clumsy person. Give her a wide berth.

         Perhaps an occasional, encouraging, life-affirming sign would not be amiss along the streets. You, Yes You, Are Beautiful. Let A Smile Be Your Umbrella. Have You Talked With Someone Today?

( 877 words )