GWEEP!

We Three Kings

GUINEA PIG ONE (Ralph): We've got it. We've got the gig.

GUINEA PIG TWO (Toby): The gig?

Ralph: Yes, the Christmas gig, it's on.

Toby: The Cutesy Christmas Critters Really Sweet (and Cute) Nativity for Very Small Children Everywhere?

Ralph: That's the one.

GUINEA PIG THREE (Graham): If you shall chance, Camillo, to visit Bohemia, on the like occasion whereon my services are now on foot, you shall see, as I have said, great difference betwixt our Bohemia and your Sicilia., Gweep!

(Ralph and Toby share a worried glance.)

Toby: Err! Very... nice Graham.

Ralph (Shrugging, which is actually quite difficult for a guinea pig, (or at least so I imagine)): Moving on. So the Nativity has a whole host of groundhogs, monkeys, quokkas,

Toby: What's a quokka.

Graham: Happy looking Australian critters.

Toby (Puzzled): Oh! Right.

Ralph (coughing and continuing): Capybaras and of course US!

Toby: And what are we playing.

Ralph: Three wise Guinea Pigs of Orient are.

Toby: We're football hooligans?

Ralph (Very puzzled): No..o. We come from the East.

Toby: That's right, East London.

Ralph: Toby. What are you on about?

Toby: Leyton Orient Football Club in East London.

Ralph: It's times like these I wish I could facepalm. Look, it's nothing to do with football alright? We play three wise guinea pigs who are versed in the astrological arts and see a star and follow it.

Toby: Ah, I get it now. So we're sort of paparazzi?

Ralph: Toby so help me...

Graham (Who is feeling left out): Graham goes for Gold, Ralph, you can have Frank's Incense and we can farm the Myrrh off on Toby.

Toby: Myrrh off Graham.

Ralph: Will you two pack it in. We're going to get banned if you come out with things like that Toby.

Graham: Let's finish with a song.



Ralph: Gosh. I didn't know we sang that well.