GWEEP!

The Introduction

[Swelling music, starting low, but you just know it's going to build to a crescendo]

Opening sequence, close up focus on a wheel.

Slow panning out to reveal riding on a unicycle.... (this is unlikely to be the real adherennium and is quite possible Clarence the stand in)...

As he rides along, pulling a small truck filled with slightly tatty parcels, (the bomb squad have put in an overtime claim that makes your eyes water), you notice that he is juggling three rather startled guinea pigs.

GUINEA PIG ONE (Ralph): He took one night off, just one

GUINEA PIG TWO (Toby): And when he got home he had to use a crow bar to get into his email list

GUINEA PIG THREE (Graham): Gottle of Geer, Gottle of Geer, Gweep!

(Ralph and Toby frown collectively at Graham)

RALPH: Now you've given the game away.

TOBY: Yes, the ventriloquism was supposed to be a closely kept secret.

GRAHAM: Don't be daft, the game is Pass the Parcel, and it's an ongoing giveaway for WDC's 23rd Girthday.

GRAHAM: And he's all caught up for now.











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GUINEA PIG ONE (Ralph): Hey! Do you think we were a one-off, or maybe we'll get a few appearances then?

GUINEA PIG TWO (Toby): Hard to say with people like him.

GUINEA PIG THREE (Graham): Gottle of Geer, Gottle of Geer, Gweep!

(Ralph and Toby frown collectively at Graham)

Ralph: What do you mean? People like him?

Toby (Knowingly) (He'd tap the side of his nose if his paws could manage it - not sure about guinea pig dexterity levels so were going to assume he can't unless evidence to the contrary surfaces, now where was I? Oh yes!)

Toby (Knowingly): Strange.

(He and Ralph exchange glances)

Ralph: Gotcha.

Graham:

Getty Gotter had some gutter,
"Gut," she said, "this gutter's gitter.
If I gake this gitter gutter,
it would make my gatter gitter.
Gut a git of getter gutter--
that would make my gatter getter."

So she gought a git of gutter,
getter than her gitter gutter,
and she gaked it in her gatter,
and the gatter was not gitter.
So 'twas getter Getty Gotter
gought a git of getter gutter.

(Ralph and Toby exchange glances again)
(It should be pointed out that they obvious therefore wound up with their original glances)

Toby: Well quite.

Ralph: Just the one appearance then.