Life With A Werewolf

Resolutions

          Those that know me know I’m not one for New Years resolutions. I’m the type of guy who typically says “My resolution is to not have a resolution.” Those usually go well for me. For some reason that’s a new year’s resolution that’s easy to keep! I know there are others out there who take a different approach. Gyms are stuffed right now with fat, sweaty, hungover bodies all trying to get in shape and get healthier, at least until beach season gets here when they all become fat, sweaty and hungover again with sand in embarrassing places.

          There’s not a problem with someone trying to make themselves a better person. But a small resolution like getting in shape can end up with someone taking on WAY too much too soon. Sure, it sounds simple, doesn’t it? Eat right, exercise. Wow. Not that hard in theory.

          However, it’s a bigger under taking than you might think. Cause when you choose to eat right, what you’re actually choosing is a lifestyle change. Think of every fast-food place you visit. I bet you have a common item you always get there. Probably cause that item has never let you down. Now, you have to either A) stop going to fast food, which means cooking. And let’s be honest, who has the time to do that right now? Especially with everyone getting a second or third job just to make ends meet in this economy, who has time to prepare home cooked meals anymore?

          So that means, B) finding something else on the menu that’s healthy. The problem with that is typically the “healthy” option is also the most expensive one, or one of the most expensive ones. And since fresh and healthy go hand in hand, you’re taking a gamble on whether they actually inspected the salad that day, or just shoved it in the back with the others. And that's not to mention sometimes the "healthy" option is only healthy in comparison to their other delightful heart attack inducing delicacies.

          Exercising is the second part of the equation. This actually goes pretty well. For the first two or three days or so. Afterwards parts of your body begins to hurt that you never knew you had. Parts of your self esteem you never knew you had begins to hurt as well as you see the guys who live in the gym walk around with the bodies of Atlas, and there you are looking at yourself in the mirror feeling like the globe Atlas lifts.

          That’s why I’ve always said the person who has the most will power on the planet is that chubby runner. That person who is overweight but sticks with it anyway. Despite feeling as if the eyes of every friend and neighbor out there is staring at them. They’re getting at it anyway and keeping it up, through body pain, through bad weather. I am cheering you on. Silently. From my room. Cause rain sucks and it makes my hip and knee hurt.

          Of course, I could always take the route Crash recommends. He says if I want to lose weight, amputate something. If his in wolf form, he’ll grin and snap his jaws in that way he does. Of course, I know he’s kidding. Though I still sleep with my pistol near my bed at night. I swear, I'm not paranoid.

          When you’re already injured certain things are out. Running, for one. Jogging for another. After my sprint through town when the vampire horde was chasing me, I hurt for the next week. Given my personality, I try to not gobble down handfuls of pills, and alcohol is just out. Which leads to drinking lots of water and increasing my sarcasm. Everyone just loves it when I’m in pain. Cause I’m a super nice guy and share the pain with everyone around me.

          If you’re losing weight or getting healthier in general, I applaud you and give you all the goodwill and credit that I can send your way. I do hope you get that goal, whether it’s to lose five pounds, or become the first ninety-year-old Olympic swimmer. Keep your goals small, keep after it every day and you’ll be amazed at what you can accomplish in twelve short months.

          I actually do have a new years resolution this year. Stay out of other people’s business. I’m going to keep my head inside, not say a word to others, let Crash do his job, and only help if it’s absolutely necessary. Yes sir, I’m going to not get involved in other people’s lives like that unless they truly want my help. You can count on me, I tell you!

          The way my neighbors carry on however, I know that resolution won’t last. Truly, I don’t go looking for trouble. I don’t have to. When trouble looks over the fence at me with sad puppy dog eyes and begs me to go intervene on its behalf, it doesn’t take long to find yourself in the middle of it. When I told Crash of the situation, he just chuckled, clapped me on the back said something to the effect of “better you, than me,” and walked off. Thanks Crash. I really appreciate the help. Yeah, that rant is coming next week. Trolls, I swear.

          Haven’t heard from Kris, Shawn or Zack lately, I know. Their latest updates are the usual. They go to work. They come home. They keep their heads down. You know, like I should really learn to do. I’d update more on them if there was more to update. But the gang keeps out of the entire werewolf and supernatural thing unless a certain vet is there to stir the pot up and get everyone involved. There is an art to leaving well enough alone that they have that I just don’t. If you’ve ever lived in a major city like New York, Pittsburgh or Atlanta, you know what I’m talking about. The ‘Not my house, not my problem’ attitude that keeps you out of trouble. Not lingering too long, not asking any questions, not stopping to help. Nope! Go about business, go home, ignore the random stranger streaking down the street claiming he’s Waffle Jesus. (Or is that Florida I’m thinking of, now?)

          One resolution that I’ll actually keep is to stop beating myself up about past mistakes. Those what if’s and if I’da’s. I’ve spent far too long pondering over how things might have been different if I’d only have done something as simple as go left instead of right. If I’d have said more to my ex-wife or if I’d have…. well, you get me.

          Those are endless roads to nowhere. They travel in circles, have you twisting over every mistake in your life and constantly trying to think of ways you could have fixed them. Past is meant to be remembered, yes. However, mistakes are meant to be forgiven. One thing I’ve learned this past year is forgiveness begins with yourself, and you can't rely on others for self-forgiveness. This past year has been very hard and at times therapeutic for me. This coming year, I’m hoping will be even better.

          But to make it better, I have to begin with today. Cause this day is all we’re ever given. The past is history the future’s a mystery as they say. Or used to say. Or something. I don’t know, I’ve heard it said somewhere. Maybe it was a tag line for a Scooby Doo cartoon?

          Point is right now is all we have. If you want a better life, what better time is there to start than right now?