Porthole

November 180 and the beginning of Winter.

35th seven day period of the Year 180

(exercise) = Exor. (observations) = obsv. (s***,shave,shower) = ss&s. (read something) = read. (comment blogs) = bogs. (BoyLove series on-line) = ytBL. (Thai TV BL series on GMMTV25) = tv25. (write poetry or prose) = PorP. (take a daily walk) = walk. (buy something) = shop. (take a photo) = foto. (video) = วิดีโอ. (speak Thai/Lao) = pôod. (learn Thai) Thai. (go-into-the-water) = pool. (clothes) = wash. (cook something) = cook. (tidy up) = mess. (travel) = trip. (noon) = เที่ยง. (talking to ex-pats/travelers/strangers in European) = chat. (Thai teaching book) = book. (hand written journal) = jour. (contests) = test. (water) = agua. (National Blog Post Month) NBPM. Groan

20 november - 20 พฤศจิกายน

exor. 300/300/300/300 = 1200. 68-ish
obsv.
foto. I took some but Pan took photos of me after he did a 'make-over'.
tv25. snowy screen...
rent? stay? go? Went to Kangaroo and Aek Udon with Pan. Still no resolution.

To {huser:4provinces in "Mini Review of The Crown and Gilded Age (Spoilers)" 

Not all seasons/episodes/chapters/books are equal. I really like Harry Potter Book 4 but the movie was a disaster, imho. I detested Book 5 but the movie was much better. Staunton may have been better cast as Umbridge than Queen Elizabeth.

Casting and writing can make it or break it.

The ghost device in a docudrama would bother me.

I don't have Netflick/HBO/Max/etc. so I probably will never see either.

To {huser:jim-d in "Los Angeles, Sixth Time This Year!"  I know that flexibility is a 'virtue'... I'm trying to practice that but it's hard when I'm on my own dime. Must straighten out lodging for December/January should I decide to stay here in Udon Thani. To renew my visa I may have to go to Cambodia or Malaysia... bad timing. Too bad we can't meet in LA.

Staying put is an option but it may come with a one-year lease... not what I want.

Having a home to come to is nice.

My health is iffy but no surgery in sight. I'd like to keep it that way. Neuropathy, blood pressure and liver need to be checked. I don't want meds either, but may have to face that choice.

Carpal tunnel would limit my writing... some folks would rejoice in that! Of course... there are voice programs.

To Silent Majority (YCC): "These land-canes and hybrid storms and who-knows-what storms need to be tracked and garner serious warnings. Too much focus on hurricanes allows the not-so-sexy storms to get away with murder. Naming them might help because that's what people expect. Plus... the debate on what to call a storm doesn't make it any less lethal."

19 november - 19 พฤศจิกายน

exor. 500/300/300/500+ = 1500+. I get distracted and lose count. 72 degrees. 09:57-10:32. Good time (for the next two months) as I was able to work in the shadows of the towers.
obsv. cool shade, a three-year old on a bike with training wheels (very respectful), breeze and leaf scurry.
agua. 9 liters = 9 baht. I didn't use much when Pan was gone for a week.
ss&s. broken shower-head is annoying but we cope.
gnus. #1 Nicaragua = Raul is ecstatic. #2 Thailand = Pan is disappointed.
เที่ยง. 77 degrees
foto. I took a couple of Pan with make-up on. He needs to make a portfolio... My phone and the poor lighting and his reluctance make it difficult.
shop. local market for eggs, pork, and a few other things.
chat. David+
bogs. Rhychus/Whirls/Harlow
MBPM. "NaBloPoMo#19" 

To anon: "When I first joined I felt connected here; but that was 2005 (before bookface), and society has changed since then. Much more divided, unwilling to engage, less civil. WDC isn't immune.

There are many societal taboos I no longer let silence me. I'm highly opinionated (not always right) and have been blocked by a few people, but I don't think I've blocked anyone. However, on FB I put a few people on pause during US election time.

I've given a few 2.5 reviews... and many years ago received a hate-rate in return. Some writing isn't salvageable. I'm not a freebie-five reviewer.

I rarely give reviews and rarely respond. Blogs are my preference.

Hope that this can be resolved to your satisfaction."

To {huser:tgifisher77 in "Playing Cards"  "Impossible hands... I have watched pinochle and lots of bridge at the Senior Center. I won't play. I do like mahjong and love versions of rummy.

I have seen younger people playing cards but smart phones have blunted any need to connect to people face-to-face. It's quite sad.

I haven't played anything in a long time."

To Sarah Aswell on boozface: Thank you for reminding me that there was a football game. In Kansas we always said, "Win or lose we will booze." I forget because I'm in Thailand with a 10 hour difference. That said, Miss Universe was important here today with Miss Thailand as #2 (some disappointment) while my Nicaraguan friend Raul is ecstatic.

To {huser:vafann on fb re fibromyalgia groups: "Hmm... the stoic Swede? Practical, seeking info, sharing details. Americans? Drama kings and queens. Is this a common stereotype or just me?"

To Togldeblox (YCC): "I've never heard of the QOP; but, if the shoe pinches the toes... Yeah, but there always are those who are greedy and still try to screw the poor at every opportunity. Not always the QOP... but it does feel that way most of the time this past century."

To huser:wofgang in "Invalid Entry"  "Pan makes sure that I smell sweet before I go out. When I live alone in a dry-cold climate like Montana I don't care so much. But here in hot sweaty Thailand it's essential to take more than one shower every day. I don't just sit in public though like I should. I could.

It's great to just sit and observe. There are stories everywhere (most of them hidden from public view).

Ah. That man in the gabardine suit..."

embed:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sFAoWwUwknc

18 november - 18 พฤศจิกายน

Moved into Lumphini with Pannya one year ago.

exor. 400/300/300/500 = 1500. 62-70 degrees. 08:21-0:8-54.
obsv. Orchid by the work-out stations starts to bloom. 8:20 train; 8:30 jet; hoot of the herons; human chatter above.
ss&s.
NBPM. "NaBloPoMo#17 Adding rainbows to dreary days." 
เที่ยง. 26°C 79°F breezy, pleasant.
wash. Pan washed clothes.
bogs. Sonali/Jack/Seven/Lilli
walk. white rose (from blind guy) and food.
tv25. Gear&Gown.

Stressful day figuring out what to do next. Not resolved but at least I know Pan's schedule.

We celebrated our anniversary with shabu at Nan's place nearby. Pan seemed happy. That's important. I was tired after our miscommunication. I'm not hungry, not happy and not healthy. But I'm glad we ate out.

19°C 67°F at midnight. Coooool.

To sonali in "Freedom"  "Is "DEWDROP" the new/old name for the "House of Hufflepuff" in Bengaluru? Or is that "Dewdrop Inn" or "Do drop in". Inquiring minds want to know.

In all seriousness... it'll take time to adjust. My mom died in 2022 at age 99. That made me an "orphan" with hair and teeth falling out. I talked to a friend my age who had a similar experience. It's a bit of a shock at first. "Walk don't run" is my only advice."

To {huser:lilli_in_fl in QotD "QOTD: Friday, 11/17"  

"I prefer board games like Clue and Scrabble, card games like rummy or canasta... and mahjong.

I played D&D in the 70s.

I won't play Monopoly or Risk. I don't care for on-line games."

To {huser:missbusta07 in "better, but tired."  "To understand this post I started to read the last post "a darkness"  ... heavy. I'll comment there after I've digested it.

I've felt totally adrift this past fortnight. Makes my anxiety go up.

Glad you've "seen the light" if only a glimmer."

To {huser:hammer48}: My energy level ebbs and flows. I have time but it's in a leaky hourglass. A long confusing discussion today sapped me like a maple in March.

To Susan Anderson (YCC): "The "side" of Compassion has ofttimes been derided as weak by those who believe one must choose a side and fight to the finish. Those of us who say 'no' and walk away from the game just shake our heads as neither side listens to us."

To Shira (YCC): "Has anyone mentioned that they should have closed I55 except for the fast and local trains? No? Why? "Because there aren't any trains" is a silly answer to a silly question. So... why aren't there trains?"

17 november - 17 พฤศจิกายน

exor. 300/300/300/400 = 1300. 72 degrees at 9-ish. 78 at 10:00.
obsv. "cold", windy, leaves blowing around, dead worms/slugs.
PorP.
เที่ยง. 27°C 80°F
mess. Cleaned before Pan comes home.
bogs. Tracker/Jeff/Neva
shop. We are out of food.
tv25. Last Twilight

68 degrees at midnight. Pannya did not come home.

5 things I see.
4 voices I hear.
3 scents to smell.
2 tastes to savor life.
1 touch to bind them all
on my way to hell.

Something you desired for me.
Nothing I wanted to be.

Suicide could be the call,
would end it all.

As leaves fall in November's rain,
the ground absorbs all pain.

[180.153]

I'm not doing well.

Ant Wars

So many children hatch in vain; 8
they're never trained before the war. 8
Do they know how they will die? 7
Does it matter? 4

They flee as if they could escape, 8
scurry then bite me one by one. 8
In the end they die in vain, 7
squished and shattered. 4

[180.154]

8/8/7/4

To nfdarbe in entry:1059578 Travelers learn tolerance... or stop traveling. It's more than patience. The language and cultural differences can be surprising. Book-learning ill prepares one for the journey. It's the face-to-face attempts to connect, the kindness of strangers, and understanding that barriers can be overcome.

It needn't be done abroad. Most communities have outcasts. That's a good place to start.

It requires leaving one's comfort zone. It can also mean 'letting go'."

To jeff in entry:1059620 A short driving distance

I laugh because I don't have a car. But there's a Swensen's, McD, BK, and KFC all within walking distance. Central Udon Thani is very livable in that way.

We are supposed to go out someplace special tomorrow. We'll see. It won't be American fast food! Possibly Shabu-shabu (ชาบู ชาบู), other Japanese or Korean. Pannya will choose. I'm just as happy with basic fried rice with pork, duck or chicken.

I do like Wendy's (been awhile) and Subway is fine at the Seattle airport; but, I'd rather eat at a local mom-and-pop place in Montana or elsewhere. Udon Thani has a great Swiss-run pizza place (Da Sofia) and Koala has an incredible Philly cheese-steak. I've met the owners.

I have eaten at the local McD's because they are open 24/7 and have good a/c. Mostly I just eat at the street markets (dumplings, roti, chicken-liver...).

To tracker48 in entry:1059623 I've submitted 'great' poems and... nothing. Not a peep; not even a review. But, I've won a few contests as well. I have a fistful of Second Places .

I've read other writers' laments over contests. It does come down to what the judges like. You could write a poem worthy of the New Yorker and still get snubbed here and elsewhere.

I try to read 3 blogs/day. More than that is exhausting for some reason.

16 november - 16 พฤศจิกายน

Ant War News: I think I won yesterday's skirmish... they attacked my peanuts. Pan texted that he will come home tomorrow; but, will the ants hold the mangoes hostage and take off with the bed?

exor. 400/300/300/500 = 1500 08:35-09:09 73~79 degrees.
PorP.
ss&s.
cook. Just rice but added an egg and used weak ginger tea.
เที่ยง. 30C degrees
walk. Got baht (4th attempt). Ate at Koala.
ytBL. IFYLITA... with Tita Josie.
tv25. I'm Tee. Me too.
bogs. Sara/Sonali/Evelyn/Tina
NBPM. "NaBloPoMo#16" 

aloft
cloudlets gather
gossip about the gods
and their futile quests — they laugh
then cry

below,
tethered, a green
spider hangs by silk threads
threatens the world by brandishing
its swords

aloof
I exorcise
my nightdreams and nightmares
banish them with groans, grunts, banter
and sweat

[152]

Huge, massive, aloof from the world, their temples and tombs and ruins remain.
—Furnishing the Home of Good Taste A Brief… by Lucy Abbot Throop

THiNKiNG of using this as a prompt... a villanelle?

tour guides, in passing, repeat the refrain 10
egos — huge, massive, aloof from the world, 10+ (could remove emdash or 'huge' or add 'crushed egos' and remove both)
their temples and tombs and ruins remain. 10

15 november - 15 พฤศจิกายน

A question I need to answer.

Margaret Adamski: From your travels so far, what is one place you would recommend to retire and stay there longer term?

1. Age and health. Dreams vs reality.
2. Climate.
3. Transportation.
4. Finances. Puts limitations.
5. Safety and happiness.

exor. 300/200/300/400 = 1200.
obsv. fresh mown grass, dappled shade
test. Entered Shadow & Light... barely on time. Almost 20 entries.
cook. Rice. I can survive on rice until Pan makes his plans clear.
เที่ยง. 85°F 29°C pleasant.
chat. P'Nan
tv25. I'm Tee...

Grey towers
descend from the heavens,
kiss scorched ground, leaving wet dimples
that will dry before nightfall —
but the dirt will remember,
frogs will sing of it,
parched roots will rejoice,
and a bird will spread its wings
in joy — tomorrow,
one yellow trumpet will admonish the sun —
I too have survived.
-- 13 oktober 2023
11 lines

Edited and posted in "I too have survived" 

14 november - 14 พฤศจิกายน

exor. 300/300/300/500 = 1400. 75 degrees. Finished 09:18. Saw Tom. Misplaced key.
เที่ยง. 29 degrees and clear.
ss&s.
walk.
shop. I have to renew, find a new place or leave. I went to Aek Udon and Kangaroo.
chat. Nik (Nichole, Nikorn) at Kangaroo. Hoon at Surada. P'Nan.

I was very tired last night and lay down at midnight. Pan is still at his mother's. I tried sleeping with the windows open but a tad too warm. I may try again later this week as night temperatures will drop.

I made a slight mistake cooking. Used a packet that had some chili in it. Hopefully I eat it small portion at a time. I don't waste food. Pan isn't back and that creates other problems for me.

I need to find a place to move to and I need to get truthful advice regarding my visa. I'm stressed out and there are few people who would understand my options if I explained to them. Thailand has quirky visa rules that change with little notice.

And lodging (friend warned about electric bills), personal relationships, cultural expectations, et cetera... would take too much of my precious time to explain to willing-to-listen but utterly-ignorant friends in Montana or on-line on bookspace or writingdotcom. You-all just don't know! So, I have to figure this out by myself. Good intentions don't matter in a crisis. I have 14 days to figure this out... or else.

It's after midnight and I'm overwrought. Too much on my mind and the War of the Ants isn't going well. At least it's in the low 70s.

My responses to social media comments:

Joseph Tramelli: Not everyone is from your culture... and that goes for everyone who comments on social media. I've traveled the world and I've been in Thailand for one year. Masculinity isn't defined in the same way as White Euro-American Christians. And even here... attitudes and customs change.

Taylor Swan: Or from a different culture. Gender is defined differently in Thailand; and amazingly, most people just accept other people as they are without faux-outraged angst.

Tiffiny Lawrie: Star Trek ruined a generation because they included an interracial kiss and lovable aliens. These were not acceptable in segregated Amerikkka during a war on the non-humans of Viet Nam. *sarcasm* ... dripping. I'm in my 70s.

Carly Kay: It may mean that you are a tolerant decent human being (of any age). One of the lessons of a Buddhist culture like Thailand is learning to 'let go'. I struggle with that here in Udon Thani.

13 november - 13 พฤศจิกายน

เที่ยง. 33 degrees and cloudy with some sprinkles at 1 p.m.
bogs. TJ/Pete/Eric/Brian
MBPM. "NaBloPoMo#13 " 
ss&s.
chat. Rick (beware of electric bill). Pear and Korean visitor at Surada.
walk.
shop. bread.
tvBL. Maybe not BL. Wednesday Club. Young people acting out.
exor. 300/200/300/300 = 1100. 79 degrees 20:35-20:59

Didn't get much done and now too tired. 77 degrees at midnight. Temperature will drop a bit by morning. Breezy cleared out the heat and ennui.

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