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Printed from https://writing.com/main/books/entry_id/1053483-An-Embarrassment-of-Cameron-Hubers
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by Seuzz Author IconMail Icon
Rated: GC · Book · Occult · #2183311
A high school student finds a grimoire that shows how to make magical disguises.
#1053483 added September 4, 2023 at 8:32am
Restrictions: None
An Embarrassment of Cameron Hubers
Previously: "Wednesday in a Car with CameronOpen in new Window.

There is no excitement in rounding off the end of the adventure, only impatience at getting it all done. After getting Gordon's mask back on, you drive back up to the school and return Sean's gym clothes -- plus the ones that you took from his closet -- to his locker. Then it's back to Caleb's to help his mom put supper on the table. There's less prep than you expected: "Caleb's eating with his friend Will," Mrs. Johansson tells you. "So it'll just be us. You want to eat in front of the TV?"

So that's what you do. You don't pay much attention to the game show that she puts on, for you're wondering how things went on Gordon's end, and why he and Caleb are being so chummy.

You get an answer to the second question a little later when your phone dings with a text.

They're out by the river. The new spell has finally run its course.

* * * * *

"So why didn't you wait for me?" You glare back at Caleb's car. It's parked fifty yards off, and is barely visible in the dark. You sure can't even make out the figure in the back seat.

"Just because you're the fucking captain of the basketball squad," Caleb retorts, "doesn't mean the world revolves around you."

You push him off his feet, then help him back up again. "So what happened? How did we wind up with -- ?" You point at Caleb's car with your chin.

You're at the river where you performed the spell, and it's a crowded scene, since you and Caleb and your double all drove out separately in your own vehicles. Will is looking about as freaked out as you feel, though he's less vocal. Caleb is acting like he's got the newest and bestest toy in the world. Which, in a sense, he has.

"So I came out here when I got off work," Caleb says. "By the way, you totally need to quit that job and let me take it. I mean, it's kind of a shit job, but I know how I can -- I mean, so I came out here after work," he starts again after you frown at him, "and I saw the fire was out. So I tried relighting it and relighting it, and it never took. That meant it was done, right? That's what the spell said. So I ran back over to the basement to get the book, and, uh, Gordon was there -- " He looks between you and your doppelganger, who shrugs. "So we both came out here. We put the book on the thing, and the page turned, and we read what it said on the other side -- "

"Which was what? Cut to the goddamn chase, Johansson."

"We did some Googling around, and basically it's a golem."

"A what?"

"G-O-L-E-M."

"I don't give a shit how it's spelled. What is it?"

"You sure got back in character fast, man. Ow!" Caleb jumps as Prescott punches him in the kidney. "A golem is like a magical statue," he says while rubbing the spot where your double hit him. "It's a thing of clay but it walks around and does work, like a robot. Only this one doesn't move unless you put a mask on it. If you put a mask on it, then it turns into a double of the person in the mask, only it's got to obey you."

"It doesn't obey me," Will grumbles.

"No shit. It obeys me, probably on account of it was my hair we used," says Caleb.

"Was that one of the ingredients? It actually said, 'the hair of Caleb Johansson'?"

"Don't be an asshole, Will. Oh wait, look who I'm -- Ow! I don't mean it, dude," he yells at Will. "I'm just, you know -- "

"He says that the ingredients included 'hair'," says Will, "and since he was the one putting the shit together, he just used his own."

"So after you figured that out, you put a mask on it, which happened to be -- "

"We had it with us," says Will. "I just got back from Anne's."

You walk back over to Caleb's car, and bend over to peer into it. A naked Cameron Huber glares sullenly back at you. "What the fuck do you want?" he demands.

* * * * *

It's Huber all right. You question him, but he doesn't want to answer until Caleb comes over and orders him to answer you. He tells you all the shit that Cameron knows -- including his memories of what Gordon did that afternoon while wearing the mask -- and he's got Huber's personality as well. "You don't want your duplitron to be some kind of dead-eyed robot, right?" Caleb says when you mention this. "If you're going to, uh, replace someone with -- "

He suddenly breaks off, and blinks hard. You and he and Will exchange glances. No one says anything for a minute.

"Okay, we're not replacing anyone," you announce in a very firm voice. "This is just, uh -- " A hot flush washes over your face, even as a chill rattles down your back. This is now seriously spooky magic. It was one thing when you could use masks to be each other, or to prank other people. But the idea of essentially replacing people with obedient robots is too much. "In fact," you continue, "let's get the mask off that thing and get it back to the basement."

That's what you do, more or less, though Caleb waits until after he's ordered the golem down into the basement before he pulls the mask off it. Then it reverts to its original condition.

Which is a pile of rough stone the color of whitish mud. You see now that those fissures you worried about were only part of the molding process. The crack up the middle split the thing to give it legs, and the cracks at the sides gave it arms. There is even a crude lump at the top where a head would be. You touch it and try to manipulate the limbs, but whatever movement the thing has comes from wearing a mask, not because the golem itself as articulable joints.

You and your friends silently contemplate. Then you ask Gordon how his afternoon of being Cameron Huber went.

"Went off perfect," he says, and his tone suggests he feels the afternoon's scam to be as anticlimactic as you do. "Anne was really surprised when I showed up and told her I wanted to make this gigantic public apology, but she went along with it. We printed up all those fliers -- " He pats his pockets, as though expecting to find one. "Then we went up to the school and taped them all over the hallways and lockers. She called some her friends out to help, so there's a lot of witnesses. Huber can't deny anything. Then at the end we started blasting out texts and putting stuff up on the social sites." He warms a little to the recollection, and a half smile tugs one side of his mouth. "Last thing was I recorded a video, all crying and shit, apologizing to Chelsea and to, uh, me for what he did." He pulls out his phone and starts tapping at it. "I can find it in a minute. We uploaded it right afterward, and blasted out a bunch more texts linking to it."

"I'll look at it later," you tell him. You high-five each other, but it's a tepid congratulation. You're still distracted by the golem.

So is Caleb, who has been frowning at it and tugging his lip. "You know," he says when he catches you and Will looking at him. "There is one way we could use this thing that wouldn't get anyone in trouble. If I put my mask on it, then there's be two of me."

"God," you and Will gasp in unison. He gets to be the one that finishes the thought aloud, though. "You think that wouldn't be trouble?"

Caleb flips him off. "What I mean is, if there's two of me, we could split my life, with the golem taking the shitty part and with me taking the, uh -- "

Your turn to insult him. "Yeah, what part of your life isn't shitty, Johansson?"

"Fuck you, you know what I mean. Like, I could send it to school for me?"

"And what would you do while it was in school?" Will asks.

"I dunno. I guess I could hang out at the college library or down here."

"Fuck," Will exclaims with a laugh. "You could get twice as much studying done is what you're saying!" Caleb gives him a dirty look.

"Hey, speaking of replacements," Will says, and jerks his chin at you. "We said we were gonna switch back when that spell got finished. Looks like it's time."

You grimace. He's right. It's been a good run playing the life of Gordon Black and taking advantage of the good stuff. But now it's time to go back.

But back to what? Even as Will takes his shirt off and kicks off his shoes, you fold your arms. "You know, it's been weeks since we've been ourselves. You've done a lot of stuff I don't know about. Same with you. You've got that job at Eagle Foods now, right? It's gonna be hard to fake our way through."

"We'll manage it," says Will. He unbuckles his pants. "Come on, I wanna go see Chelsea."

"You could put your own masks on," Caleb says. "Your mask has all the memories of working at Salopek. I know that, 'cos I had them all when I put them on. Wear your mask until you remember everything you need to remember."

"That sounds kind of weird," says your soon-to-be-ex-double. "Wearing a disguise of yourself."

"It's worth a try," says Caleb a little sulkily.

You still haven't started disrobing, even though you need to. You're looking at the golem. And then you glance at Caleb. Earlier, you were talking about maybe the two of you switching. But the golem presents another way of dodging Salopek. You could send it in to do your work for you while you hang out somewhere else.

Next: "The Return of the NativeOpen in new Window.

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