Meth: a Ticking Timebomb Gone Viral

Oh, Sugar...My OTHER Addiction Rears It's Ugly Head

Isn't denial a funny old thing? Yesterday's little episode was blamed, perhaps unfairly, but certainly squarely, on meth withdrawal. I was quick to jump to the conclusion that my drug of choice, Methamphetamine, was the culprit. I mean, what else could have caused such a reaction?

Later that night, I made dinner and got my water bottle out of the refrigerator. It was then I realised I hadn't had a drink of Powerade all day. In fact, I didn't have any the day before either. It's winter here in the southern hemisphere and as we all know, when it's cold (relatively speaking), we are nowhere near as thirsty as in the hot summer months. And I have been consciously trying to drink more plain old water.

It was at that moment a thought came...could what happened to me only hours before have been caused by sugar withdrawal? I've seen how the brain reacts to sugar when an EEG is taken. Sugar lights up the frontal lobe in exactly the same way as when cocaine is ingested. I suspect sugar may have been the real culprit, and now I am faced with a new dilemma...how do I quit sugar?

Sugar is in almost every processed food, as is salt (which may be far more harmful than simple carbohydrates, and possibly, just as addictive). To prove this for yourself, cook anything from vegetables to meat without adding any salt, and if you are used to salt (addicted may be a more apt choice of word), you will instantly know by the food's blandness and lack of flavour.

What am I to do? Unlike meth, sugar, and its co-accused, salt, doesn't have to be sourced from some shady dealer, who charges exorbitant amounts of money for the product/poison they supply. And doesn't the previous statement sound familiar...denial, alongside its best friend, justification. All rolled up in one sweet and salty treat. Even writing those words causes my mouth to begin watering. One of my favourite flavours of ice cream is salted caramel, and I cannot imagine life never eating it again.

The mere thought of this abstinence in my future life is sending my head into a spin. Is life worth living without something pleasurable to look forward to? To have to lose every single thing that gives me pleasure...sex, drugs, and now salt and sugar. I mean, what's the point of living in a world where bland, pleasureless monotones of grey are all I have to look forward to? If I did choose all of these poisons, at least my last few years would be spent doing something I enjoy, instead of living life in a continuous act of denial of what I want and desire.

Dying from pleasure or living by deprivation. Or is there some middle ground? Some sort of balance.

Powerade is my weakness. And a ham, cheese and tomato sandwich without salt and pepper is simply never going to happen. Reducing my consumption of food that comes wrapped in plastic might be a good place to begin.

There's no way I am going to start using meth and have to go through all of this again. I don't think I could...and I don't want to.

As for my other addictions, I suppose I need to focus on slowly reducing and eventually eradicating them from my day-to-day life...weaning myself, just like I did with meth, might be the answer. For now, removing those two food groups is not beneficial for my ongoing mental health. I'm already fragile and to add more weight to the pack would be reckless, and might I say, detrimental to the cause at hand.