The Book of Masks (Vol. 3)

Best-Laid Plans, If You Do Say So Yourself

Previously: "Who's Number One?" 

Number Two is dressed and sitting patiently on the edge of your bed when you emerge from the bathroom some few minutes later. She is studying her phone, but looks up with an alert expression. "Any problems out here?" you ask. "Chelsea's mom?"

"All quiet, boss."

The salutation surprises you a little. "You knew it was me?" Number Two nods. "Oh, because it couldn't be anyone else. Right?"

"I guess." Then Number Two slowly adds, "But it's also a feeling I've got."

"Huh. Well, I'll need you to message everyone else tonight, telling them I'm boss now, and they need to follow my orders."

"You're the boss," says Number Two. "Anything else?"

You pluck thoughtfully at the front of your sweatshirt. Weren't you—or somebody—thinking about making a "to-do list"? "I'll DM you tonight if I think of anything. For now, I think—" You glance at the desk. "Yeah, there's some homework I need to finish up."

Number Two picks up her purse, and you tuck your arm into hers as you lead her out the bedroom. "We need to see Kim now," you murmur as you go down the stairs in lock step.

"I'll let you know if I hear anything, Chelsea," Number Two says in a more animated voice as you emerge into the foyer. "And please call me if you need anything else." She turns eyes that are warm and liquid with friendship upon you.

"I will, Kim," you reply. "And thanks so much." You give her a quick, firm hug. "You know, you are the best student council president we could ever have had!" Which didn't stop me, you privately add, from trying to sandbag you in the vote at the end of our junior year.

"I told your mom I'd say bye to her." Number Two looks around with a vague expression.

"I'll tell her bye for you." You gently push her toward the front door. "I don't want to keep you."

So Kim is gone and you're turning toward the stairs again when Mrs. Cooper appears. "Was that Kim leaving?" she asks.

"Yes, Mom," you sigh.

"You girls get your business taken care of?"

"Ye-es!"

"Can I ask what it was about?"

You give her look. Why is she always trying to run your business for you? It's been, like, two hundred years since she was a cheerleader in high school. "It's just some school stuff, Mom."

"Well, if there's anything I can help you out with, honey—"

"I don't need your help with anything, Mom. I don't need Kim's help either, I'm helping her out!"

"Well, you don't have to jump down my throat about it, Chelsea!"

You head up the stairs with a snort. Except I do. It's the only way you'll ever learn to leave me the fuck alone!

* * * * *

Did you say you needed a to-do list? Chelsea has a to-do list, except she keeps it in her head. Except it isn't even a "to do list." It's more like a seven-step plan with interlocking parts, updated day by day as events warrant.

There was, for instance, the whole East-West Club fiasco over the weekend that had to be cleaned up. It was a freshman girl, Erin Richardson, who made the offending banner. You—Chelsea Cooper, that is—don't give a fig about freshman girls, but that means they are so far beneath your notice = you don't see any reason not to be nice to them. So you—or Number One, who as a doppelganger was handling things at that point—made a great show at the emergency meeting of the Westside branch of absolving Erin of any real blame, and insisted that the Westside branch as a whole should shoulder responsibility and make an extravagant apology to the Eastman branch. We'll hold a car wash over at Eastman, you suggested, and donate all the proceeds to the Eastman branch. Of course, you added, only those who look good in bikinis or without their shirts on—

Here Number One had shot a liverish glance at Eric Harlen, whose chest is so cadaverous you can count his ribs without needing to feel for them.

—will participate. Everyone else can just make a proportionate donation out of their own wallet.

Of course, it wasn't out if the goodness of Chelsea's heart that this offer got made. Poor Erin was so pathetically grateful she swore she'd never be done repaying the favor, so now you've got a nice little spy down in the freshman class, in case you ever need anything done down there. Even better, in a private, seniors-only meeting of the Club you rounded hard on Kelly Rinaldi and shrilly put the blame all on her. I thought you were supposed to be babysitting the dumb freshmen! you remember shrieking, to keep them from fucking anything up! Now look how fucked we are! Kelly wildly protested that she had never made any promises about "babysitting" the freshmen, but— You're not going to weasel out of this, Kelly! you snarled. Did you do it on purpose? Did Anita get you to put Erin up to it?

So you—or Number One—managed to work up a feud with Anita Nuevo and her crew of soccer hooligans (one of whom is Kelly), and based on that burgeoning feud put Gloria and Kendra to work spreading the rumor that the escapade had been cooked up by Anita and her friends in order to embarrass Hannah Westrick, a girl from Eastman who moved to Westside this year and joined the soccer team, and who is herself feuding with Anita. And that little chess move (prepping the ground for an alliance-of-convenience with Hannah) fits in nicely with another one of Chelsea's long-term projects, which was to get herself in good with Marc Garner, the captain of the Westside boys' soccer team, who is Hannah's boy toy. Marc is one of the really genuinely popular guys at Westside, and Chelsea always thought that having him in her pocket would be a real coup, especially as he can bring along some really influential friends of his own. And, as the brother of Jessica and Eva Garner, his friendship could mess with the heads of two of the girls on the cheerleading squad who like to get hair-pulling contests with Chelsea.

Beyond that, you definitely need to cover your flank on the cheerleading squad, because your plan to bring in Number Seven has opened you up to a counterstrike by Cindy Vredenburg. It wouldn't be good for Number Seven to alienate Cindy and her friends by taking your side in any votes—in fact, it would be best if he wasn't taking any sides, since you want him to be popular with everyone on the squad. So if you could make it look like Marc asked Jack not to make trouble on the squad ... Well, then Cindy and them would have to blame Marc, and that wouldn't be good for her friendship with Eva and Jessica, would it?

You find yourself grinning to yourself, and tapping a tooth with a sharp fingernail, as you reflect how neatly things are clicking together, even without making any new doppelgangers.

But of course, it's to make new doppelgangers that you've changed positions. So the next order of business is to figure out who to recruit as Number One's junior partner.

* * * * *

You're in bed, under the covers, trawling through social media for ideas and inspirations, when a DM pops up. It's from Number Three: Two says yur boss now rite? You reply with a thumbs-up emoji. U have ideas for dealing with Gordon? comes the follow-up.

You make a face. Gordon has been such a butt, and Number One has been so hungry for her scruffmonster, that it's been easiest to ignore him. No, you reply. He pretty far down list.

Ok but he told me today he thinking of braking up w u and asking out kendra.

You almost come out of the bed. With a trembling fingertip you dial Patterson's cell. "I thought that'd get your attention," is his dry opening line when he picks up.

"The fuck?" you spit. "Who does that fucker think he is?"

There's a pause. Then: "Boss?"

You take a deep breath, and center. That's right, be the boss. Don't let it rattle you. You're not Chelsea, you're Number One, just a cog in the plan. The boss's plan is what's important. "Report," you tell Number Three in a flat, neutral tone.

"He told me tonight, when we were up in the loft. I was teasing him about not being with you. He said he was going to dump you, because you're a bitch and are about to get kicked off the cheerleader squad. He said Kendra was going to be the new captain, and he asked me if it would be okay if he asked her out after he dumped you." He pauses. "He was drunk, but I think he was serious."

Now that you remember, Gordon didn't put up much of a fight when Number One told him she didn't want to see Jason up in the loft anymore. In fact, he only grunted at her. Had he already decided then to break up with his girlfriend?

Number Three asks, "Is he onto something, what he says about Kendra?"

"Yes, but I didn't know he had heard about it. He must have heard it from Kendra."

"She's a snake." Another pause. "The kind of snake who could be useful to us."

"She will be."

At the last big meeting, you said that Gordon was also going to be replaced. But you weren't planning to make him your Number Eight—if you were going to replace him, he would belong to one of your junior partners.

Next: "Gym-Jamboree" 

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"Table of Contents (Vol. 3)" 
"The Book of Masks (Vol. 3)"