Jots and Tittles and other Random Things

April's Welcome to My Reality - 30 prompts done

These questions are in no particular order, so here goes!


1. My favorite way to spend the day is…

To just be doing things. Like today, I found new recipes to try, I did some blogging, I found a new book for the Book Club Challenge, I made a "bubble chart" of goals to set so that I can finally be independent again. I made an appointment to get a mammogram done , and also wrote up a schedule of my doctor's appointments thus far (Going into July and Sept.) I went "window shopping" for my son for new living room and dining room furniture, and I also have four new books to read (courtesy of my son). I have a couple of crocheting projects and also a couple of "diamond art" projects that I am working on. Like I said, I like to stay busy. I also have a couple of games that I play: Taonga, Township and Dragonvale. Then there is the writing prompts that I find in Take Up Your Cross, Blogging Circle of Friends, Andre the Blog Monkey, Welcome to My Reality, and so on...I just don't know what I will do when I go back to work...how I will fit all of these things in. LOL

2. If I could talk to my teenage self, the one thing I would say is…

If I could go back in time, to my teenage self: I'd give her a good talking to! I would warn her about the dangers of junk food, and diabetes (which really sucks). I would try to drive home the point of taking care of myself health-wise. I would tell her that she should follow her dreams of college and NOT get married at such a young age...that it wouldn't work out in the end. I would miss my kids and grandkids that I have right now...but then, would I? I wouldn't have them at such a young age. Of course, the cynic in my would say that I would just find other ways of screwing up things.

10. What does unconditional love look like for you?

There is some different types of unconditional love, in my opinion: That of a dog - you are this animal's whole world. Never said it would be easy, but the rewards are tremendous, and you have someone that loves you no matter what.
A young child - a newborn baby. They are dependent on you for everything...feeding, changing, loving, snuggling - again, everything. They grow and mature, right before your very eyes...and again, it is not easy, as they are developing into their own person, with their own ideas, and so forth...even ideas that you had no clue they had...
Then there is the love of the Father. His love is unconditional...though we sometimes put conditions on it ourselves. And that is not to say there are not consequences for throwing His love away; it's that we can come as we are to Him - place ourselves in His hands, and trust that He will love us and guide us through this crazy thing called life.
- Just my opinion




26. Make a list of everything that inspires you — from books to websites to quotes to people to paintings to stores to the stars.

My sister Dawn inspires me. My sister Erica also inspires me. My kids inspire me as well. My Dad and Mom inspire me. I have several friends on WdC that inspire me - Jay O'Toole Lilith 🎄 Christmas Cheer ,Solace.Bring just to name a few. The Word of God inspires me, as does the authors Jane Austen, and J.D. Robb, Charlaine Harris, Christine Feehan, and Sherilyn Kenyon. I draw inspiration, and these people make me want to be a better person. This list is far from exhaustive, but it is a good start.


29. Make a list of everything you’d like to say no to.
Make a list of everything you’d like to say yes to.

To say no to:
Diabetes, obesity, kidney stones, wasting time, and the disregard my family has for things spiritual, ie, God in their lives.

To Say yes to: becoming healthier, to have good mental health, to doing what God would have me do with the remainder of my life, to becoming financially independent again, to be able to write well - stories and poetry.

As I've said before, these lists are not exhaustive, just merely what is at the top of my mind.


32. What are your favorite journaling prompts? What are your favorite ways to check in with yourself, get to know yourself better, and get inspired?

At the moment, I enjoy the prompts given with the Take Up Your Cross Challenge, and the Welcome to My reality Challenge, and also the Andre the Blog Monkey's prompts. Some of them really make me think, and then I start taking off writing, and well, what happens, happens.



34. Are you organized or messy?

As much as I would want to be organized, I really am very messy. I go through spurts of cleaning and organizing when I just cannot take it anymore, but then I go back to those bad habits and things become messy once again.



35. Your biggest victory?

It's hard to categorize my biggest victory, but I guess I would say that it was my surviving a septic kidney infection last year. There were a few that were not as fortunate. I figure God wasn't through with me yet, and so here I am. It is amazing and humbling to realize how close I did come to dying...(within a few hours). But here I am, and working on getting better, and trying to realize my purpose in life.

36. Your worst mistake?

I've had so many mistakes in my life, it is really embarrassing . I think perhaps my worst mistake was not finishing school and getting married at such a young age. I wasn't pregnant, I just thought I knew better than anyone else what was good for me (kinda funny, as I was only 16 1/2 at the time- yeah, dumb!). Of course, I wouldn't be where I am today, if only...and I wouldn't have the children and grandchildren that I've grown to love with all of my heart. So, there is that, as well.


37. A moment that changed you?

I've had several of those kinds of "moments". Getting married, having kids, divorce, moving around...you name it, I've had that moment...LOL (at least it seems that way). I think the moment, if you could call it a moment, was when I became aware after having had surgery, and being in the hospital, of how sick I was, and how close I came to dying. I don't mean to beat a dead horse about this, but it definitely changed my thinking. I've become dependent on my children, have had doctor's appointments and other surgeries since then, and it has basically turned my life upside down. I went from reestablishing my credit to what credit? I've begun to drink enough water to float a battleship, and while I haven't totally cut out "sweets"...I have diminished them greatly. I'm 9-10 months out from this, and I still have some issues...but I am working on them, and having to learn patience...well, basically, it sucks!



38. What worries you?
I guess my biggest worry is that I will never be as independent as I want to be. While my kids have been troopers in this area, I cannot help but think that I have lost something that will never truly be recovered.



39. The last book you read?

The last book that I read was Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen. I watched the movie with Keira Knightly before I read the book, and while I enjoyed the movie, I really enjoyed the book more. Here is my review of the book:

"Invalid Entry" 


45. The last piece of real mail you received?

LOL...that is easy - it was a bill collector wanting me to acknowledge a bill from 2016.

46. What are you looking forward to?

I am looking forward to the day that I can go back to work and start being independent again. 2022 is not one of my favorite years, I can tell you, and I am hoping that 2023 will be much better.

47. One quality you want to improve


I guess if I were to choose one, it would be gratitude. Or perhaps patience. I know I don't have a lot of patience, especially in the area of health. I also know I could probably do better and be a little more outgoing. I am planning on seeing a counselor about my "hang-ups" so that I might get a better grip on what I am going through and dealing with.



61. Top three favorite experiences

At the time, it probably wasn't true, but in hindsight, my 3 favorite experiences are having my three children. They are grown now, with kids of their own, and I wouldn't trade these kids for anything. My oldest was 5 weeks early, and had to be in NICU for two weeks so that her lungs could develop a bit more. My middle child was 4 weeks early, and had to have hypospadias surgery and a hernia repair when he was very young. My youngest was on time (that last month was a doozy!) and I had 3 or 4 false alarms. The last time, she was coming and the doctor just got there in time to catch her.

So while the experiences weren't "perfect", I have three wonderful children with all of their own hang-ups and trials, and I couldn't love them more. I only wish I were a better mom to them.



70. Write a poem about that time you met a friend at a cafe.

I met my friend for lunch,
at a small cozy cafe.
It was a time to chat and catch up
On the week's activities.

We would go on and on,
Just enjoying ourselves;
Never worrying about the time -
It was our weekly standing date.

I miss those times now,
I miss your laughter and
The shenanigans that we would pull.
If only you didn't leave me on my own.

69. Food: What’s for breakfast? Dinner? Lunch?

On a weekend, Breakfast would consist of french toast, orange juice and coffee. Maybe some scrambled eggs and bacon on the side. Lunch would consist of sandwiches or maybe some potato salad, freshly made. Dinner could be something from the crockpot, such as a roast w/ veggies, mashed potatoes and gravy. Or if we are feeling frisky, maybe going out to Olive Garden, or Chili's.


4. Write a letter to someone you won't send it to.

Dear God,

I've been sending you letters since the beginning of the year. I know that heaven isn't a place that the snail mail can get to, so I send them with a stamp from my heart.

Thank you for your grace and mercy; your love for me is unfathomable. I only wish I were a better child for you. Help me with my shortcomings, and help me to find my purpose for you. Not that I get the credit, but that your light would shine forth in my little corner of the world.

Love, In Jesus' Name,
Amy



5. Your favorite quote, what does it mean to you?

My favorite quote is actually Bible verses: Jeremiah 29:11-13 (NIV)

11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. 12 Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. 13 You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.

To me it is a promise that God has my back, even if I cannot see it right away. That if I "draw near" or stay close to Him in my heart, that He will be near to me and that I will find Him when I seek Him. This is comforting to me, especially when I take my eyes off of my circumstances and allow Him to work in my life.


10. Something to let go of?

One thing I should let go of is my self-doubt. I am smarter than I think I am. I am stronger than I think I am, and I can do most anything that I decide to put the effort into. I need to quit "self-sabotaging" myself and to quit being afraid of "success".

Just my thoughts on this subject.



20. Write a prayer of praise to God

While it is not in the style of the Praise of David in the Old Testament, It is my prayer of praise from my heart:

Thank you Father, for everything. I pray for You to guide me in Your light, and wisdom. Keep me from my enemies, the worst being myself at times. Thank you for Your grace and mercy; allowing me to be able to come to You whenever I choose to do so.

Thank You for saving me, and giving me the promise of Your Son's coming and Your Kingdom where I can worship You forever.
Thank You for giving me hope when all looks dark and dreary. Thank You for allowing me to learn from my mistakes.

Thank You, Father, for EVERYTHING!

24. Bucket List ~ at least 15

Bucket List:
1. Visit Grand Canyon
2. Visit Mt. Rushmore
3. Visit Yosemite National Park
4. Go on an Alaskan cruise
5. Go on a Fall Tour Train Ride (Canada)
6. Get a passport in order to do some of my bucket list things.
7. Swim or at least soak my feet in the Atlantic Ocean
8. Go on a European Cruise
9. Visit Great Britain
10. Visit Washington D.C. - the Smithsonian Museum, the Lincoln Memorial and the Washington Memorial
11. Visit Arlington National Cemetery
12. Possibly get at least an "honorary" degree in History, if not an actual one.
13. Perhaps get something published
14. Go on a trip with my sisters
15. Visit the Crazy Horse Monument

31. Make a list of 10 things you want to get rid of from your life

1. The need for all of the medicines that I currently take
2. A lousy credit score
3. The excess weight that I am carrying around
4. The feeling that I am a burden to my children
5. Not being self-sufficient
6. Procrastination - The feeling that doing it "later" is ok.
7. Not having focus in my life
8. Not feeling as though I have a purpose in my life
9. Not being accountable for my actions/inactions
10. Not having or sticking to routines for my health and well being.



36. Things that annoy you.

People trying to stuff their ideas down my throat, rather than come together for a civil exchange of ideas.

37. What scares you?

Becoming a burden to my children. Alzheimer's runs in my family, and I am afraid that I might end up with it when I am older. That is the one thing I am afraid of. Other than that, I just have to trust God; that He will take care of me.

41. Things you need to stop worrying about

I need to quit worrying about being a burden to my children. They've told me that I need to quit, anyway. I also need to trust that my doctors know what they are doing, and I will be able to go back to work when they think I can. Those are the main things I need to quit worrying about.

53. Write about your Momma

My mom was born in 1943, and will be 80 years old in November of 2023. I am very lucky/blessed to still have my mom. She will be going on her first cruise this May with my two sisters and a niece. I am very excited for them. Mom lives with Dad in Michigan. They have been married for 55 years come December of 2023. I love and appreciate my mom very much, and I wish I appreciated her more when I was growing up. Hindsight, right?



54. Write about your Daddy

Dad might be technically my "step" dad, but he is the only Daddy I've ever known, and he has been by my side ever since I was 2 years old. He was born in 1947, so that makes him 19 years older than me. Growing up, the sun rose and set on my dad. I was even mad that I wasn't a boy, so I could be just like him. I don't have this memory myself, but dad had told me a story about me when I was maybe 3-ish? Anyway, I started throwing a hissy fit whenever we were going down a gravel road. One day, dad couldn't take it anymore, and pulled the car over. He got a handful of snow and washed my face with it. Apparently that shocked me enough to where I never threw that particular fit again. LOL
My dad has always been a woodworker, and has made shelves, hutches, even gun cabinets, foot stools, cutting boards - whatever came to his mind to do. Also "hope" chests and tables. He has a two car garage, and one side he transformed into a wonderful woodshop, and the other holds the chest freezers and his fishing boat. When my sisters were little, (5 years between us four girls) Mom had taken a picture of Dad holding all four of us in his arms. As I've gotten older, I have come to realize that my Dad isn't perfect, and has feet of clay. But I still love and honor the man that he is. I love my Daddy.



56. Write about your sister(s}

I am the oldest of 4 girls. We were born in 1966, 1968, 1969 and 1971. The names of my sisters are Erica, Kathy and Dawn. We unfortunately lost Kathy in 2021 to multiple myeloma. My sister Erica lives outside of Memphis and works at Fed Ex in the graphics department. My youngest sister, Dawn works in a car parts factory in Traverse City Michigan. Since we lost Kathy, we've kept in touch more often, and we all got to see each other this past December. My sisters and my mom are going on a cruise in May. I wish I could go too, but maybe next time. My sisters are also crafty, with sewing and crocheting. I'm a big fan of my sisters, and love them to the moon and back!