Porthole

51st dry smoky week of 179 B.E.

12.มีนาคม.2566

I hope...

that flames do not consume us, that the smoke doesn't choke, that you'll return to sleep by my side, that rains will fill our dreams, that we will swim as one. [149]

A red day. Hazardous AQ. Pannya off to Nong Bua Lomphu for work. I explained that I want to go with him. Does he understand?

My back... better than yestereve. I'm being careful.

11.มีนาคม.2566

Ponnya works today? 13:30 - 20:00?

Paulo went to Laos so he can renew his passport.

I will definitely need details when he returns. 15,30,45 day visas... conflicting information in Udon.

Ponnya made breakfast but I have no appetite and it's difficult to eat some things since I can no longer chew properly.

Thick air.

Letter to latter Day Hebrews

"That Book"

Yeah, the one that tells lies about me.

The one that only shows one side of the conversation.

The one that misquotes me, misunderstands me, makes me the Bad Guy.

There was no war before you came along.

There will be no war after you-all die.

Heavily edited and posted in "Letter to Latter Day Liars [179.148] 40w" 

10.มีนาคม.2566

I have class at 14:00; I leave at 13:30-ish. I bought a book that includes vocabulary and grammar. I think it will help.

Ponnya got home in the morning, earlier than I expected. He ate, made rice for me and now is sleeping... my Sleeping Beauty.

It's 11 and I need to focus. Can I? Will I?

To Brian: "WDC was a godsend when I was homeless. Covid... however... I needed hugs that I didn't get. Even with the barriers of language and culture, I'm doing better in Thailand at the moment.

That said... isolation is increasing in many societies... Even WDC is more impersonal than it once was... in my opinion."

March on? Even the birds are listless, the clothes barely move in the morning.

Nothing runs quickly through the smoky heat except for fire and anger. Both need to be doused.

I'd give him a kiss; but why wake Sleeping Beauty?

Edited in "Pannya at 11:07 [179.146] Mar#3" 

Rubber band: we approach. we flee. carefully. boomerangs are deadly, rubber bands bring closure or cause pain. attachment can be deadly. "Let go". They warn but do not know... when two are one that's a no-go.

Edited in "Rubber band [179.147] 37w Mar#4" 

9.มีนาคม.2566

Ponnya had a delightful way of waking me up this morning. I could deal with that every day. I love it when he's happy.

Ponnya: cooked rice and fish from breakfast. Squid and vegetables for elevenses. He eats. I watch. I really don't have an appetite.

To Phyllis: Ideas, thoughts, dreams... golden light at the zenith, burnt copper at the fade of day.

Why don't we just hang out?

https://www.msn.com/en-us/health/wellness/nobody-knows-how-to-hang-out-anymore-a...

So... Ponnya goes out and then visits family 2 hours away and isn't coming home tonight. I really find the lack of communication difficult.

8.มีนาคม.2566

Ponnya leaves for work tomorrow. Enigmatic and non-communicative as usual. Update: now he says he canceled.

After a couple days of constipation ... diarrhea ... wonderful.

Wash will get done today.

Festival of colors:

Always colorful in Udon. One festival after another. Orange to celebrate the city on its day. Red for Lunar New Year. What color is the sky if not blue?

It's smoky today. We thirst for rain. May the sky turn black with bolts of lightning. May rains come.

Turned this into "Colors of hope (in Udon Thani) [179.144] 39w Mar#1" 

"Hate is another form of love."

There is a line down the highway. You stay on your side I stay on mine.
We'll both be happy. But Life laughs and lines wiggle. You wag your fingers then cross onto the other side. Yes, hate resembles love. Yes, I love you.

Turned into "Crossing Lines [179.145] 40w M#2 " 

To Robert: doesn't mean that we can't strive to do better in the future, with updated experience and knowledge.

Oh... may I rant? I am frustrated with religious traditionalists who believe in a black/white viewpoint based on a literal understanding of their scripture. They are stuck in the past neither updated experience nor knowledge seems to impress them. Quite the contrary. They rage and rage against the Light."

7.มีนาคม.2566

Leftover pork satay for breakfast.

Trip home: boom, boom, boom. No one said anything to the driver. My teacher Mieuw explained to me later that no one says anything when they think the driver is aggressive.

Class went fine. Lots of cultural knowledge. I need to buckle down on my studies though.

Shrimp-something and pork and sticky rice.

Bought 6 pairs of socks for 100 baht. That's about 50 US cents each. I needed socks.

6.มีนาคม.2566

In Nong Khai. No problem getting here and fortuitous in a way as there's a party in the streets. National festival? Local?

Ponnya is constantly hungry. I'm not. Plus... I cannot eat chili peppers.

Took photos. Met Ponnya's friend.

I have no energy.

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