Toe in the Water

Enjoying the Now

Enjoying the Now

I really ought to cut down on my YouTube wandering. Far too often I find myself wasting time by learning all about things I don’t need to know. Just yesterday I ended up listening to some British guy criticising Twinkies.

The gist of his argument was that he felt they tasted artificial. “They taste like plastic,” he maintained. While I can’t argue with these statements, I disagree with their premise. For a start, I see nowhere that contains the injunction that artificial tastes must be abhorred. In fact, it is quite possible for an artificial taste to be exotic, intense and attractive.

I can think of several instances of foods that have obviously chemical-induced tastes that render the thing irresistible. Britain itself has an outstanding example in something they call “mock cream.” This is used to fill all sorts of cakes and doughnuts as a substitute for cream. It is much sweeter than cream and, thanks to its name, quite open about its artificial nature. And it is much, much tastier than the real cream.

Also in Britain, there is the instance of “prawn cocktail flavoured chips.” I have tasted both these and the actual prawn cocktail and can say, without fear of contradiction, that the chips are greatly to be preferred. Not that I don’t like prawn cocktail - I love it. But the plain fact is that those chemicals added to the relevant chips are so tasty that prawn cocktail is my favourite chip flavour. It is my great sorrow that the flavour is unavailable over here in the States.

And then there is the matter of ProNutro. This was a breakfast cereal originally invented as food to feed Africa. Allegedly, it contains all that we require to live a healthy life. To support its philanthropic intentions, it was released to the public as a breakfast cereal and, since the sixties, it has been ever present on southern African tables. So well did it do that they decided to bring out flavoured variants.

First of these alternatives was chocolate. It was well received and the makers followed up by introducing banana flavour, This was the killer blow for me. My first taste produced the immediate response that the cereal attained new heights in the matter of artificial tastes. I could not help but express my delight by saying, “It tastes exactly like plastic!”

And here we have come full circle in our refutation of the aforementioned gentleman’s critique of the Twinkie. His criticism is entirely personal and dependent upon the mistaken belief that everyone must feel as he does. Far from it - I understand that taste must always be taken as a matter for the individual. The very fact that banana ProNutro is still marketed in Africa must indicate that enough people like it and therefore keep its sales figures high.

I am not alone. Artificial flavours give us a link to the technological progress that we are fortunate enough to enjoy. Through them we can feel just how in touch with the great machine of civilisation we are. If it tastes like plastic, you should at least feel honoured that you know what plastic tastes like.

One of these days I’ll show you how to like instant coffee.


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