The Book of Masks (Vol. 2)

Scheming Big

Previously: "... And the Entrance of a Better One" 

I'm only one girl, you find yourself thinking as you scurry off to your next class, head down. And this school is so totally fucked up that not even Chelsea Cooper has a prayer of fixing it by herself!

You find yourself casting beady-eyed glances at the other students as you push your way through the crowded hallways. Chelsea has made a mess of her own corner of the school, and that would be hard enough to fix. But she has no influence over the alpha bullies like Steve Patterson, Jason Lynch, and Seth Javits, still less the scummier bullies like The Molester or David Kirkham.

Then there's all the drugs flowing through the school, fucking people up and making them miserable, and how can the head cheerleader do anything about dealers and pushers like Gary Chen? The football team is a total mess, on account of all they want to do is drink beer and smoke dope, and you know from Gordon and Steve that one of the footballers' own, Erik Carstairs, is the one pushing it on his teammates.

All you can do by yourself is make the cheerleading squad a happier place. But anything else in your power—like putting up posters talking up "school spirit"—would just look silly, and make you look silly too.

But you've got more power than that. You've got the power of magical masks and disguises, of virtual body-swapping. If a new "Chelsea Cooper" can clean up her part of the school, then a new Steve Patterson, a new David Kirkham, a new Gary Chen and a new Erik Carstairs ...

New people everywhere!

Could clean up their corners.

And in back of it all, pulling strings, giving the orders, masterminding the whole scheme ...

Well, there's only one candidate for that job!

* * * * *

"Oh, God, I hadn't thought about that, and thanks for reminding me!" you exclaim. Kendra only arches an eyebrow in reply.

It's the last period of the day, and you're sitting with your lieutenants in the library for the daily conference. Kendra has just asked who you will be going with to Meghan Farris's party. Of course, the unspoken question behind her spoken question was, If we're really going to do this, Chelsea, if we're really going to support Meghan by all going to her party and getting others to go too—hork, gag, vomit—you're going to have to show up with a guy on your arm. So are you going to get yourself a boyfriend in the next ten days, or are we going to give up on going to her dumb party?

Yeah, that's a lot of meaning to pack into a skeptical look and the obvious question, "So who are you going to go to Meghan's party with?"

But you are dead-set on throwing all of Chelsea's considerable social weight behind Meghan. Sure, she's wet and needy and desperate, a C-ranked girl at school who plays at the D-level because she's a walking charisma deficit, and it's ludicrous that she's trying to loft herself to the A level with this party she wants to throw.

But you're the "good Chelsea" now, and "good Chelsea" is generous and supportive to a fault. So you shot down Kendra's idea of ignoring the party completely, to tell her that not only will all of you be going, but you're going to put the screws to all the other A-listers at school to show up as well. It's her senior year! you told the aghast Kendra and Gloria, and she needs at least one good thing to go right for her!

And deep underneath, maybe the real Chelsea would agree with you, for reasons of her own: If I can get half the school to show up to—bleh!—Meghan Farris's party, that would just show how much cred I've got!

But Kendra is right, and now you're stuck. You can't possibly show up at Meghan's without a new boyfriend. So you need to find one and find one fast.

For the moment though you ignore the question, and instead prattle on making lists of who needs to be talked to to make sure they show up at Meghan's, and who will do the talking to them. But in the back of your mind you run through possible candidates to replace Gordon. There's no one else even remotely in the old Gordon's league. He has to be a jock, one of the team captains, on one of the popular teams, and it has to be a team in decent shape, one that is plausibly going to State. So that rules out the football team, which will win one of its games this season only if the other team shows up even drunker and more stoned than them. The baseball and lacrosse teams aren't sexy. And Marc Garner, who captains the soccer team, is both going steady with another girl and is Eva and Jessica's brother, which would be weird. And no way would you make a play for Laurent Delacroix of the wrestling squad, who has a reputation for being a total man-whore.

And why weren't you even thinking of this earlier? You must have been totally preoccupied with the "good" you're planning to do Meghan, in order to forget that you would need to show up at her place with a new boyfriend. Or—and this thought makes you go sideways with the regret you still can't shake—maybe it's because you just unconsciously assumed that you'd be going with Gordon. Like of course you would be going with him!

Maybe you could change him back to normal? But with a different person "under his hood," so to speak?

* * * * *

But you are broken up with him, and he is off the basketball squad now. So there's no reason to hang out in the gym after school and watch practice. It would just give Steve another chance to gloat at you.

Besides, you've got business to talk over with Caleb.

"So, dude," you say to him as you perch on one of the work tables down in the community center basement. "Who are we going to switch you with?" You twinkle at him over the diet soda you picked up from McDonald's on the way over.

He doesn't react, not even to blink. After a moment's pause, during which you grin raffishly at him, he says, "What are we talking about?"

"I got me a new identity. Whose are we going to get for you?"

He sighs and rolls his eyes. "You're getting too much into this, Will—"

"Damn right I am. And you want in on it too, right?"

One of his eyes twitches. "Let me try on Chelsea's mask for a few days?"

You grunt. "You've got a spare mask of her if you really want to play with her jugs. I'm talking about a permanent switch for you."

"What makes you think I—?"

"For the good of the school!"

"What?" he says. For the first time, it seems like you've really got his attention.

"It's a plan I came up, got it all worked out and everything." You fiddle with the straw in your drink. "The school's a shithouse, you know. Well, we're going to clean it up."

"What?" he repeats.

You smile tightly at him, and launch into a summary of your plan.

"It's on account of what you said to me yesterday, about being as big a cunt as Chelsea ever was. I decided you were right, I was being a cunt, so I'm going to start doing all the stuff Chelsea could have done but didn't. Being a better person." You clumsily hook some quotes in the air while juggling the cup. "Chelsea would never do the stuff I got planned, because she was a bitch. But there's all the other bitches and assholes at the school. I figure we can turn them to good too. If we do to them what we did to Chelsea." You grin and slurp down some soda. "Switch good guys in for the bad guys."

Caleb stares at you for a very long time without twitching a muscle. He doesn't even sway on his feet. It's almost like he's been flash-frozen. But you just return his stare with a smug smile of your own.

Finally, he says, "Are you out of your fucking mind?"

The smile falls off your face. "What's crazy about—?"

"The whole idea! You're—! What, you're going to switch people around? Who? Who are you going to—?"

"The assholes and the bitches! The bullies and the cunts! All the fuckers you and me—"

"Who are you going to switch in for them?"

"Well, you for a start."

"Me?"

"Sure! That's why I asked, who do you want to switch with?"

His face lengthens. "Aren't you kind of presuming that I want to—?"

"Don't you?"

"What makes you think I do?"

You give him a pitying look. "Dude. Look at your life. I mean, no offense," you stammer as Caleb's face turns a mix of green and pink. "But I'm in such a better place now. You could be too. And you'd be doing other people good too! Because we'd put you in for—"

"Who?" he demands. "Who are these bitches and whores and cunts and—?"

"You know who! The usual suspects. The Molester and—"

"Oh, fuck me! Like I want to change places with him!"

"So there's lots of others. There's Steve Patterson for a start!" You feel yourself starting to bluster. "That fucker! Or, um—" Unfortunately, you can only think off the top of your head of scumsuckers like The Molester or Gary Chen.

"What about girls?" Caleb demands. "Someone with tits. What about Cindy?"

"Vredenburg?" You pause. "Cindy's not—"

Or is she? She can be a bitch. And your place on the squad would be more secure if an ally like Caleb were impersonating her.

"Or what about Kelsey Blankenship?" he says.

You shiver with loathing. Kelsey is a stuck-up rich girl who makes you feel like bugs beneath her sandals. She could definitely stand a personality upgrade.

Next: "One Half of a Half-Baked Plan" 

*
"Table of Contents (Vol. 2)" 
"The Book of Masks (Vol. 2)"