SSV: Project S.T.A.T.I.C. Part 1

Prologue

A month had passed since Goth and her menacing new world had been overturned by a rag-tag band of heroes. Metropolis was still in the process of rebuilding, but the city was alive and healing. People were slowly returning to their normal lives, but with that came the potential danger of the city's super-powered villains returning. Some had retired, others had been biding their time waiting for the moment to strike. The underlings inside of organized crime had been scrambling to fill the vacuum of power that Goth had left. So far, the city hadn't seen a trace of their typical villains, but many began to fear that they might return sooner than later. It was only a matter of time before someone decided to make a move against the city.

Thankfully, the city had two protectors who stayed vigilant over its citizens. The Raven and The Feral stood guard alongside the MPD. There was talk that some of the older villains had retired out of fear of being put down for good. The Feral wasn't known for taking prisoners, and after Megabutt, there were many who either condemned her or praised her. The Raven was an even more enigmatic new arrival. Many saw him as a creation of Goth's who'd gone awry, and that meant that several people didn't trust him. Those that did had been saved by the masked vigilante and his lightning fast reflexes and response time. Then there were the rumors of a third super-powered mystery woman working in tandem with the others. If the stories were true, her powers were something out of a horror story.

It was midday in Metropolis, and many of the citizens were trying to find their old routines. For some this meant going to work, running errands, and trying to sleep soundly for a change. For the vast majority, this meant a trip to the bank. Deposits, withdrawals, inquires, and everything else dealing with their finances. The tellers, managers, and officers were swamped with work, and they'd only been open officially for a week. Goth's chaos had caused them to shut down for an extended period of time, but they were finally ready to get back to work. The lock down had been lifted, but with that came a set of new trials. Still, most everyone was somewhat glad to have the opportunity to find some normalcy.

The lobby was filled with people, and nobody noticed when three men and a lone woman walked in wearing heavy and long coats. By the time they noticed the masks covering their faces, it was too late. One man pulled out a shotgun and fired it at the ceiling causing everyone to scream. The woman stepped forward and hopped onto a nearby table, "Everyone, stay calm and cooperate! This will all be over shortly, and we'll be liberating you all of the burdens of financial stress!"

"Ninety seconds!" a man with a machinegun yelled.

The woman tossed a bag at a nearby teller, and quickly drew a pistol as a security officer tried to surprise her. She shot him in the arm, and his gun clattered to the ground. "Now, now, what did I just say?" she asked, hopping down, "We're not here to hurt anyone, unless you give us a reason of course, and we're just here for the bank's money! Do any of you have any idea how high the insurance on these places are?! Probably not, but suffice to say, they won't be missing a few thousand dollars. Money in the bag, lady, now!"

"Sixty seconds!" the man yelled out, "We gotta move!"

The gang of four kept a watchful eye on the people cowering on the ground. Their bags were filled in seconds, and the sound of sirens could be heard in the distance. The woman held her bag in one hand and her pistol in the other. She grinned behind her mask, and waved to the citizens, "You've been a wonderful audience, and I hope we'll be doing this again soon! We've got to run, but let's all agree to cherish this moment, shall we?! Toodles, ladies and gentlemen!"

"Fifteen seconds!" the man yelled as they moved to the doors.

"I heard you!" she snapped as she and the others took off in a sprint, "Honestly, some people just have no manners or rapport with people."

"Boss, we gotta go!" he snapped back.

The four of them busted through the doors as several MPD cars came barreling down the street. The woman cackled as she led her little gang towards an alleyway near the bank. They'd parked their unmarked van there, and things appeared to be going in their favor. However, as they neared the van, it became encased in a strange purple light. They skidded to a halt as it folded in on itself. "Damnit, what the hell is this?!" the woman demanded as she stomped her foot and sighed, "Fuck, split up and book it back to the hideout! I better not see any cops on your asses when you get there, either!"

"Apologies," a calm and distinct voice called out as a blonde woman in jeans and a black leather top stepped out of the shadows, "It would seem that I've spoiled your plans. How utterly inconsiderate of me, but then again, I seem to forget my own strength."

"Who the hell are you?!" the leading woman demanded.

"Boss, I think that's the witch!" a man exclaimed backing away.

"Such an ugly title, don't you think?" the woman asked, sauntering forward, "Then again, this city isn't known for its originality. I'll give you a choice: put down your bags and guns, and I won't let my little pet loose on you. Run or resist, and I'm afraid you won't like what happens next. The outcome will be the same, you four in jail, but how badly you're hurt is up to you. Think it over, but the clock is ticking. Do try to hurry, my pet gets rather impatient when idiots waste her time."

"S-should we do what she says?" a man asked, trembling.

"Fuck that!" the leading leading yelled as she raised her gun and opened fire, "Eat lead, you dumb bitch!"

Pam rolled her eyes and held up her hand. She enjoyed the theatrics of her newfound role in life, but she was continually amazed at the idiocy of the common criminal. The woman emptied her clip, but the bullets froze in midair in front of Pam. She debated on whether or not to send them back to the group. It would be so easy to eliminate a group of scum like this, but Zoey had asked her to dial back on the murdering. She rolled her wrist and let the bullets drop as she spoke, "That wasn't very nice, and such hurtful language. I'm disappointed in you, Maria."

"How do you know-ugh, shut up!" Maria yelled, stepping back as Pam's eyes began to glow.

"Mm, if this were a year ago, I'd take you back to my little abode, teach you how to behave, and dispose of you once I was finished," Pam said, stepping forward, "You'd like that, though, wouldn't you? Hmm, such a tough little girl, but you want someone with a firm hand. Oh, the things I could do to you."

"Stop it," Maria said, ejecting her clip and reloading it, "I'm warning you!"

"A fool tries the same failed trick twice, Maria, don't be so thick," Pam said, advancing and using her powers to rip the gun from her hands, "Perhaps I could arrange a nice strong woman for your cellmate? Would you like that? I'm sure I can pull a few strings. Oh and by the way, your time is up."

"What?" a man asked just as a boot collided with his face and knocked him to the ground.

A second stomp to his head knocked him out, and the remaining three turned around and froze. There before them in her leather jacket, red shirt, cargo pants, combat boots, and that all too familiar horned helmet she called a hood. The Feral stood with one of her glinting pistols at the ready, and a knife in her other hand. "Damnit, everyone run!" Maria yelled as she took off down the alleyway.

"Screw that," a man said as he raised his machine gun at Beth, "Let's see how fast you really are, hero!"

Beth twisted her torso to the side as he opened fire, launched the knife in her left hand at him, and took a shot at Maria's kneecap as she tried to get away. Her knife collided with the gunman's hand, and he yelped in pain as he dropped his gun. Pam stepped around, and held out her hand as a spectral chain formed in it. She held it loosely at her side as she walked, and she began to spin it around as she advanced on the other gunman. He raised his shotgun at her and fired a buckshot at her. She shifted her chain so that the spinning arc caught the brunt of his slug. "Naughty~," she chided in a mocking tone and gave the edge of her chain a swift kick to send it flying into the gunman's right shoulder.

"Good luck, Butch!" the youngest gunman yelled as he ran off down the alleyway.

"Kitten, be a dear and catch that lowlife," Pam said, twisting her wrist and pulling the gunman down to his knees, "I'll handle little Maria and this trash. Find him, and make sure that he suffers for trying to shoot you."

"Already on it," Beth said, running after the man who'd shot at her.

"Now," Pam said, inching closer to her restrained assailant, "What shall we do with you, hmm? Ah, I have an excellent idea! Why don't we take a look inside that little mind of yours, and see what such a big man is afraid of? Yes, let's see how well you face your most intimate fears."

While Pam prepared herself for some soul-searching fun with her victim, Beth chased after the last culprit. She sprinted down the alleyway as fast as her legs could carry her. She could still see him in the distance, but he was nearing the exit back into the streets. The last thing she needed was to get civilians mixed up in a skirmish, and she wasn't a fan of being directly in the public eye either. She aimed at his leg, and took a shot at his knee. He turned around and fired blindly in response. His gun went up as the bullet passed through his kneecap, and he fell to the ground cursing and howling in pain. Beth continued her run towards him until she stood over him. He rolled on the ground and held his knee.

"You fucking bitch!" he yelled up at her, "What the hell is the matter with you?!"

Beth shrugged, "I could have shot you in the head, would that have been better?" she asked, her voice distorted through the resonator, "Stop crying and go to sleep, you piece of garbage."

She slammed the butt of her gun down on the side of his head. His swearing was silenced, and she grabbed the collar of his coat, and she drug him towards the mouth of the alleyway. A uniformed cop stood with his gun raised as she approached. "Freeze!" he yelled before realizing who it was, "Holy-you're her! You're the freaking Feral!"

"The one and only," Beth replied, "This is one of the goons who robbed Metro National Bank. The others-"

Beth was cutoff as a large portal opened over her. Out of it fell the other three members of the gang. The one she'd knocked out, and the one Pam had been dealing with who was muttering to himself and shaking. The woman who led them fell out last wearing only her bra and panties. A glowing ring rested around her neck, and Beth couldn't stop from rolling her eyes at Pam's little joke. Maria was out cold, but she looked no worse for wear. "I'm guessing these are the others?" the officer asked.

"Yeah," Beth replied, "Take them away, and the money-"

Four large bags of bills fell out of the portal and on top of the pile of bodies. It closed shortly thereafter. "Uhm, was that you?" the officer asked.

"Whatever you want to believe, officer," Beth replied as she pulled out her grabbing gun and fired it at a nearby rooftop.

She landed on the roof, and double checked to make sure she was alone before removing her helmet. "Did you have fun?" Pam asked, appearing out of the shadows.

"Loads," Beth said, holstering her weapons, "Love stopping bank robbing idiots early in the morning. Your little stunt is going to get you discovered sooner or later. Why the hell was she half naked anyway?"

"I wanted to see what she looked like under those ugly clothes," Pam replied with a shrug as though it were obvious, "Is someone jealous?"

"Hardly," Beth snorted, "You're evading my comment, though. Are you trying to get yourself caught?"

"Please, the mortals of this city can't even begin to catch onto me," Pam replied with a wave of her hand, "If someone discovers me, I can easily wipe their memory."

"I'm not sure that's a legal thing to do," Beth said.

"And shooting criminals is legal?" Pam countered, earning a huff from her girlfriend, "Nothing we do is exactly legal, Kitten. Now, why don't you stop pouting before I lose control."

"You are impossible," Beth said with a roll of her eyes, "Is everything about sex with you?"

"Not everything, but you know I find you adorable when you pout," Pam replied offhandedly, "I believe Zoey was trying to get in touch with us, though. Give her a quick call, would you?"

"Probably another body," Beth sighed pulling out her phone, "I don't know what's going on, but if it is it'll be the third one this month."

"Someone is trying to take advantage of the chaotic state of the MPD and the city," Pam said, taking a seat on the rooftop.

Beth nodded and waited for Zoey to answer. The last month had seen a rise in crime, and most disturbingly, a trail of mutilated bodies had been discovered around town. "This is Zoey," the commissioner's voice came on the line.

"Zoey, our friend tells me that you've been trying to reach us," Beth said, trying to refrain from using any specific names, "What have you got for us?"

"Another one turned up last night," Zoey replied, "I've been trying to reach The Raven, but I can't get a hold of him. We've got an active scene at a warehouse near the docks. We could use both of your input on things, and the special investigator that Mr. Blackridge hired as a consultant for our force. Can you be at the warehouse in the next hour?"

"Damnit, I was hoping this was a social call," Beth sighed, "Yeah, we'll be there. I'm going to go wake The Raven from his, most likely, drunken stupor. If I'm late, it's because I'm kicking his ass."

"Understood," Zoey said with a small laugh, "I'll see you all soon. I'll make sure the scene isn't too disturbed while we wait."

"Appreciate it, over and out," Beth said as she hung up the phone and groaned, "I swear to God, I'm going to shoot his dumbass in the foot!"

"Kitten, don't say things like that," Pam reprimanded, "Just give him a swift kick and be done with it. You know he's been going through a lot since Rebecca."

"We've got a fucking job to do!" Beth snapped, "I can't keep going to fish his dumbass out of the bottom of a bottle. If he would just try to move on, maybe give someone a chance for once, then maybe he'd stop moping, drinking, and fucking everyone willing to spread their legs!"

"Please stop trying to set him and Alexis up," Pam sighed, knowing full well what Beth was implying.

"She's not that bad!" Beth exclaimed, "I mean, yes, she's nuttier than squirrel shit, but she would do anything for him! Maybe if he gave her a chance then she'd quit posting want ads for henchmen online!"

"What?" Pam asked.

"Look at this!" Beth said, pulling up a job board on her phone and handing it to Pam.

Pam took it and read it aloud, "Tired of working for pennies on the dollar? Wanting to make something of yourself, and make a name Metropolis won't forget? Join Footgirl's crew, and see if you've got what it takes to make it. Competitive pay, comparable benefits, and paid time off. Join up with the woman responsible for helping The Raven take down Goth, and ensuring that he was equipped enough to bring down the monster who terrorized the city. Send your resume to one of the nine links below, and someone will be in touch! What in the hell is this?"

"That's one of the fifteen different job postings she's been putting up," Beth answered, "Ugh, I'm gonna wake up the billionaire bird, kick his ass, and meet you at the crime scene. Go get changed and grab that ID and badge Jake got you."

"I hate having to use a fake name," Pam huffed, "Why can't I just go by my actual last name?"

"Now who's pouting and looking cute?" Beth teased before sighing, "It's just to make sure nobody discovers who you are. You do have a history of working for the bad guys."

"Fine," Pam sighed, "I'll grab the items, and I'll meet you there. Send me the address, and try to be quick this time around."

"Yes ma'am," Beth replied, sliding her hood back on and running towards the edge of the roof.

"She's going to kill him," Pam muttered to herself as she began to sink into the darkness, "That is if he doesn't drink himself to death first."

—-----------------------

As Jake’s eyes fluttered open, they were quickly assaulted by a harsh light, accompanied by the ringing in his ears. Between that and the taste of sour liquor on his breath, it wouldn’t take a detective of his quality to realize that he had a massive, massive hangover. Jake struggled to swing his leg over and find the floor with his foot, and as he did, he once again cursed the decision to install marble flooring in the bedroom. The cold stone was a shock to his entire system, but he forced himself to push through it and stand on his own wobbly legs, if only so that he could stumble to the window and pull shut his curtains, offering him some semblance of release from the bright light currently attacking his senses. It did little to dull his headache, but at least he could see.

Jake’s newfound vision allowed him the chance to glance around his room, and revealed that he wasn’t alone this morning. He’d apparently taken a guest home, as suggested by the blue and pink pigtails sticking out from the sheets besides him. Jake sighed to himself, pinching the bridge of his nose, and found his robe, throwing it over his shoulders as he stumbled out of his bedroom, pulling the door shut gently enough as to not disturb his sleeping guest. “That’s a problem for a less hungover Jake…” Jake mused to himself as he decided to make his next battle the stairs.

Since Rebecca's funeral, he'd been struggling to cope with his grief. The night of drinking with Beth and Pam had reminded him of the comforts that came with a good bottle of scotch. The after effects weren't ideal, but it gave him a chance to escape from the painful memories of his lost love. The warm embrace of another person was also a welcomed distraction. The feelings that came from bedding beautiful women were second to none. Granted, he knew that it was wrong. It wasn't the act of seeking human contact, it was the fact that he never had any intention of building a relationship with any of them. He was using them for sex and an escape. Beth had been furious with him when she'd found out, but he knew she meant well. He was also acutely aware that it wasn’t healthy or helpful for his situation.

Jake stumbled down the stairs to the lower level of his home. He had never been so thankful for the burgundy rug that covered the stairwell. The guardrail was a close friend on mornings like these; a fact that seemed to be more recurring these days. His stomach grumbled below, and he desperately wished Bruce was still around. He'd given his faithful butler and companion the week off to visit family back in Wales. He couldn't shake the feeling that he was forgetting something, though. It wasn't the stranger sleeping soundly in his bed, but there was something else. His head hurt whenever he tried to remember.

Jake got down into the kitchen and quickly began ransacking his own refrigerator for a hangover remedy. Jake remembered an old remedy Bruce had made for him before for situations like this. Jake closed the fridge as he tossed the carton of eggs onto the counter behind him. Out of the corner of his eye, Ashley stepped around to the other side of the counter. He could tell just by looking at her that she was perturbed to put it mildly. “I understand you’re still hurting, but this is getting ridiculous. This is the third night in the last week you’ve come home piss drunk and the second you’ve brought home some superpowered whore.”

“I’m pretty sure this one technically doesn’t have powers.” Jake answered back as he sleepily cracked an egg into the glass, before going for the hot sauce. “I think she's just really flexible and limber, or was that the other one?"

"This is exactly what I'm talking about," Ashley sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose, "Do you even know what day of the week it is?"

"Tuesday?" Jake asked, hoping that she might lighten up, but her face only seemed to get more frustrated, "I'm sorry, Ash. I know this isn't right, but I just want to forget for a little while. Is that so wrong?"

Ashley sighed and pushed herself off of the counter, "There's nothing wrong with wanting to escape, but right now this city needs you. It's Thursday, by the way, not that you'd be bothered to care."

Jake sighed in defeat. He cracked another egg and quietly admitted, "I'll do better, I need to do better."

“You need to get your shit together.” Ashley crossed her arms and stood up straight, surprising him with her blunt statement, “The city needs a symbol now more than ever, isn't that what you told me weeks ago? You’ve spent the last week trying to drink yourself to death and fucking anything that looks at you and smiles. The world doesn’t need another billionaire drinking away his fortune, and the last thing Metropolis needs is Jake Blackridge going MIA again!"

"I know, I know, but do you have to yell?" he asked, rubbing his temples, "I'm not going to disappear, Ash, I'm just…preoccupied is all."

"You're picking up strangers, letting them have their way with you, and sucking on their toes and undergarments while they fuck you senseless," Ashley corrected, giving him a knowing look, "You do realize that we share a sense of taste, right? If it were an occasional thing, or even someone you might be committed to, then I could let this slide. But no, you're simply indulging your little fantasies with common whores!"

"I'm sorry!" he finally snapped, before looking away, "Ash, you know how much she meant to me. You should also know that I'm not good at dealing with grief and regret. There was more I could have done, but-"

"But nothing," Ashley said, sliding beside him and looking him in the eyes, "You did everything you could for that woman, and she still chose to cause her own ruination. You set her free in the end, and you are so quick to forget that. This doesn't excuse your luid acts, excessive drinking, and shirking your duties, though."

"I'm not shirking my duties," Jake argued.

"You’re supposed to be back at the office today, and Zoey called you about an hour ago about another body they found," Ashley said, pointing a finger at him, "Let me guess, you forgot about that too."

Jake raised an eyebrow as he finished his cure, and shot the concoction in the glass in one go. “How do you know if Zoey called?” he asked.

“Just because you’re not conscious doesn’t mean I’m not still aware of everything going on around us," Ashley said sternly, "For example, your little circus whore's obnoxious perfume and laugh, or the fact that you pissed yourself two days ago, or-"

"I get it, I get it," he sighed, slowly beginning to feel the miracle cure take effect, "Ash, please, I am sorry."

Ashley stepped to the side, hopped onto the counter, and took a deep breath. "I understand that you're in a lot of pain, Jake," she began, her tone softer and more sympathetic, "You know I have no love for that witch, but I too know the pain of losing the one you love. I myself was devastated when I lost you, and I know what that can drive a person to do. However, using your pain as a means to justify your current behaviors is something that the weak do. You are not a weak man, Jake Blackridge. I don't fall for the weak. Hurting or not, you are better than this, you're stronger than this."

"You think so?" he asked, feeling more and more like he was letting someone else down that he cared about.

"I know so," she replied, giving him a reassuring smile, "You are a good man, Jake Blackridge, a strong man. Now, I suggest you get a move on, and try to get your circus whore out of here before somebody decides to come check on you. Beth hasn't been happy with you lately, and I'm sure Zoey has already called her as well. Get the whore out of our home, get dressed, and call Zoey back to see what she needs."

As if on cue, there was a knocking at his front door. Jake sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “Too late for that, I guess.” Jake put his glass in the sink and made his way to the front.

"I tried to wake you sooner," Ashley said, following after him, "You are a sound sleeper sober, but you are dead to the world when you're drunk."

As he opened the front door, he was already trying to figure out an excuse. “Beth, I know, I’m late, I got Zoey’s ca-…”

“What’s wrong Birdbrain? Expecting someone else?” a strangely merry and bubbly woman asked.

Jake blinked a few times, wondering if just for a split second he was in some sort of alcohol induced psychosis. “Miri?”

“That’s the name, sweetheart!" she replied, much louder than he would have liked, "Like the new outfit? Of course you do, who wouldn’t?!”

Jake had almost completely forgot about the girl they’d just left in Footgirl’s “care” for what was over a month at this point. Jake at one point had a thought that they should probably go looking for her, but it had taken a backseat due to the crime wave that hit the city. Now the girl stood in front of him, dressed in a way that apparently Alexis found attractive- short shorts, a leather top with straps, and knee high boots, perhaps most alarmingly, a small footprint branded on her left cheek. In her hands was a bouquet of roses and a heart shaped box. "Miri, listen, I-" he began before she cut him off by pushing the flowers and box at him.

“The Boss told me to drop these off for ya, said now that things are back to normal, you and her can go on that date you owe her!" Miri explained, ducking past him and slipping inside his house.

“I owe her?” Jake repeated with a raised eyebrow as he wondered when the girl had gotten so quick and nimble, and tried to catch up to her.

“Yeah! For savin’ your life and everything,'' Miri replied, dodging his hand as it shot out to try to grab her, "Without her building those drones last year, you would’ve never put that fancy gun on your car, and then you’d be burning to death in that monster’s intestines… What a horrible and disgusting way to go. Just thinking about it makes me sick to my stomach. You makin’ breakfast?! I’m starving!”

Jake sighed and followed his uninvited guest into the kitchen. “First off, no, I’m not," he said trying to catch up to her, "Second off, it’s… look. I’m sure Alexis means well, but-..”

“But nothin’! You got a girl who’d do anything for ya, Birdbrain!" Miri cut him off, "You’d be dumb to throw that away. Trust me, I’d kill to get the boss to feel the way about me the way she feels about you. Hell, I have! It didn’t work!”

Jake was taken aback by that last part, and decided it was probably time to show Miri the door. He caught up to her at last, and he managed to grab her arm. He kept a tight hold of her arms as he led her back to the door. “Look, Miri. I’ll call Alexis later, promise," he said as he guided her towards the door, "I’ve got a lot on my plate right now. I’ve gotta get to a crime scene, please, keep yourself and your boss out of trouble for the time being, I’ve got enough shit on my plate that I need to deal with right now.”

He practically shoved Miri out the door. “Yeah, okay. But you better call her later! I know where you live, Blackridge, I used to live here too!”

Jake shut the door behind her and sighed, pressing his back against the door. “And that’s another thing.” Ashley spoke up again, leaning up against the stairs. “I spent a lot of time with Alexis down in hell. You’ve got an emotional ticking time bomb on your hands if you don’t figure out what you’re gonna do with that whole situation.”

Jake sighed and nodded, but his head snapped up when he heard a pair of feet hit the floor upstairs, “One problem at a time, though. I gotta go deal with… this. Do you remember her name? I don’t.”

Ashley rolled her eyes as Jake began to head back upstairs. “Get your shit together, Blackridge…”

Jake was halfway back up the stairs when another set of loud bangs came from his front door. He growled as he quickly turned and marched back down the stairs, "Miri, I said-"

He stopped when he felt a fist connect with his jaw. It wasn't hard enough to knock him out, or even down, but it hurt and he knew that right hook all too well. "Where the hell have you been?!" Beth roared as she stomped into his home.

"Good morning to you too, Beth," Jake grumbled as he rubbed his jaw, "Always good to see you."

"Pushing her buttons, unwise," Ashley sighed in the distance, "She has a surprisingly strong right hook for her size."

"You're not answering my question," Beth said, marching past him and looking around the house, "Where the hell have you been? You've missed another job, and Zoey has been trying to contact you all morning! So, who's this week's whore?"

"I don't know what you're talking about," Jake lied through his teeth.

"You really wanna play that card, Jake?" Beth asked, putting a hand on her hip, "You answered the door saying another woman's name, you stink of booze, it's nearly noon, and you've got a box of chocolates and flowers sitting on the table over there. You really expect me to believe you didn't bring home another stray?"

"Hmm, she's more astute than I give her credit for," Ashley mused, earning a glare from Jake, "Don't get mad at me for complimenting your friend. What part do you want to tell her first? The whore who's name you can't recall, or the fact that Miriam was just here?"

"Jakey, where are you?" a voice with a thick accent called out from upstairs, "Come back to bed, darling. I had ze most deliciously devious idea while I slept!'

"Oh shit," Jake sighed, "What is her name?"

"Claudia," Ashley answered, "Her name is Claudia, which you would know if you hadn't been so inebriated."

"Claudia, right," Jake mumbled to himself as he frantically tried to figure out a solution, "Beth, I know you're pissed, but can you go wait in the kitchen while I try to get my guest out of here?"

"What, you afraid she won't come back if she sees another woman?" Beth asked.

"No, of course not!" Jake replied, "Just-please, I don't need you making things more difficult than they already are."

Beth rolled her eyes, but walked past him towards the kitchen. "Fine, but you need to get your shit together," she said, pointing a finger at him.

"So everyone keeps telling me," Jake mumbled as Beth shoved him and Ashley gave him a knowing look.

"I can't wait to see how you handle this one," Ashley remarked with a toothy grin.

Jake ignored her and rushed up the stairs two at a time. He found his house guest standing in the doorway to his room still naked from the night before. He hadn't noticed the copious amounts of tattoos that dotted her skin, or the piercings she had I'm various places on her body. Maybe he had, but he could barely recall the events of the past night. She was tall and buxom, and she had a hungry look in her eyes. He clearly had a type. "There you are, my little pet," she cooed as she crooked a finger at him, "Come back to me. I have had ze most brilliant idea for how to start our day."

"Yeah, uhm, Claudia was it?" Jake started.

"Madame Sinclair to you, my little pet," Claudia replied, putting a hand on her hip and standing confidently.

"Oh boy, this one is full of herself," Ashley commented, putting a hand to her head, "And yes, you definitely have type, my love."

"Right, Madame Sinclair, sorry," Jake corrected himself, "Listen, I've got an important meeting I've got to get to, and I'm afraid you've got to go. I'll pay for the cab, and I'll definitely be in touch."

"Liar," Ashley muttered.

"Oh, I'm not going anywhere," Claudia said, sauntering up to him and taking a rough hold of his robe, "I have no intentions of letting a wealthy little boy like you go."

"Yeah, it's just I'm not really looking for a relationship right now," Jake started before recoiling when she slapped him across the face, "Ow, what the hell?!"

"You think you can just toy with a girl's emotions?!" Claudia demanded, surprising him by escalating her tone so quickly, "I have finally found someone willing to share my…interests, and I will not be thrown out because of a fear of commitment!"

"No, you don't understand-" Jake started before she cut him off with another rough slap to the face.

"She's beginning to irritate me," Ashley said menacingly.

"It is you who does not understand!" Claudia screamed, "I am not some common whore that you can just play with and cast out!"

"Okay, I think that's enough," Beth's voice called out from behind Jake, "I don't know who you are, and frankly, I don't give a damn. You need to go, now."

Claudia looked over at Beth who stood with her arms crossed and a hard glare on her face. "Is zis why you're throwing me out?!" Claudia demanded, "You choose zis gutter trash over me?!"

Beth marched past Jake, pushed him behind her, and leaned close to Claudia, "Listen, circus freak, I'm all out of patience here, and I'm not gonna stand here and be insulted by a chick with spider web tattoos on her tits! Get out before I throw you out."

"I will not be spoken to like zis!" Claudia screamed as she reared back to try to slap Beth, but Beth caught her wrist, twisted her arm, and stepped behind her to hold her in place, "Let go of me, you filthy whore!"

Beth ignored her and walked her to the edge of the stairwell. She pushed Claudia forward, but kept hold of her arm. "Last chance, princess," she warned, "Insult me again, and I'll throw your ass down the stairs. After that, I'll drag you out by your dumbass pigtails. What's it gonna be?"

"You choose this woman over me?!" Claudia screamed at Jake.

"Claudia, it's not like that," Jake sighed, "This is-"

"Consider me the bouncer for Mr. Blackridge," Beth interrupted, twisting her arm further, "I'm not his lover, not his girlfriend, and I'm not interested in dealing with high maintenance hussies like yourself. Mr. Blackridge has a very important meeting to get to that he's late for, and you're holding things up. I'm gonna ask one last time because I'm a nice person; you wanna walk out, or be thrown out?"

"Fine, just let go of me!" Claudia yelled, struggling as Beth released her arm.

"Smart choice," Beth said, crossing her arms, "Hate to pop one of those implants by throwing you down the stairs. Now, get to stepping, lady."

"You will regret this, Jake Blackridge," Claudia warned as she started to stomp down the stairs, "You and that little brute you have there."

"Okay, I'm not big on threats either," Beth sighed, pushing her coat back to reveal one of her pistols, "I'm sure we'll be ruing the day together soon, but threaten me again and you'll be limping out of here. That's not a threat, that's a guarantee."

"Beth," Jake sighed.

"She started it," Beth said without turning around.

"Hmph, I'll see you two around soon enough," Claudia said, turning her nose up and hurrying down the stairs.

Jake waited until he heard his front door slam before descending down the stairs again. "Was that really necessary?" he asked Beth as she trailed behind him.

"It wouldn't have been if you'd grown a backbone, or if you didn't insist on bringing home sluts," Beth answered, "Honestly, dude, you've got to knock this shit off. When's the last time you were at the office?"

"I don't know," he replied, genuinely unsure of the last time he'd set foot in his company, "Maybe a week ago?"

"Wrong," Beth said, "You haven't been there since the beginning of the month. You've been absent without notice for so long they're fucking calling me and Pam! You should be there now, but we've got a problem to deal with first."

"Zoey’s call," Jake said, "What is it this time?"

"How'd you know about that?" Beth asked as they descended the last stair and walked towards the kitchen.

"Ash," Jake replied, leaning against the counter, "She says that even if I'm blackout drunk, she's still aware of what's going on around us."

"That sounds shitty," Beth said, opening his fridge and helping herself to a snack, "I'm guessing she's pretty pissed about your bullshit antics too, huh?"

"She's very astute," Ashley said, appearing on the counter beside Beth and glancing at her snack, "You really should eat something, Jake."

He nodded and inspected his fridge for something quick and easy. A cheese stick, a tube of yogurt, and some sliced salami were sitting there at the ready. He took the items and started opening them while answering Beth, "She's not happy, no."

"Nor should she be," Beth said, finishing her light snack while he started his, "Look, I get it, okay? You're hurting and what not, but we've got a job to do. Hell, you've got a company to bring back from the brink! I'm not even a share holder, and they're blowing my phone up asking about you! With Pam on the payroll now too, it's looking odd that you're continually absent considering what happened last time you went AWOL."

"Save the lecture," Jake said, "Ash already told me the same thing. I know I've screwed up, okay? I'll do better, I'll be better."

"You fucking better," Beth said, opening the box from Miri and taking a chocolate into her mouth before spitting it out, "Ugh, what the fuck is in these?!"

"Huh?" Jake asked, looking over one and breaking it in half, "Oh, of course. Alexis sent Miri to my house this morning just before you got here, and she sent me these. Wanna guess what she filled them with?"

"Oh for fuck's sake," Beth said, snatching a soda from the fridge and taking a large swig, "You know, if you'd just consider giving Alexis a shot, then maybe she'd stop sending weird gifts to you."

"You just ate a chocolate with toejam filling, and you think I should go on a date with her?" Jake pointed out between bites, "You realize that this is Footgirl we're talking about, right?"

"Yes, I know it's Footgirl, but maybe if you'd give her a chance she'd be willing to change," Beth replied, "She's not as bad as you make her out to be. She's weird, yeah, but no weirder than like ninety percent of the women you've dated. Exhibit A, the circus chick I just kicked out of your house. Wait, back up, did you say Miri came here? Miri, as in the girl Alexis took weeks ago?"

"The very same," Jake replied, finishing his yogurt, "I can't tell if Alexis brainwashed her, or if the girl just has attachment issues. I almost didn't recognize her. Look, I'm not going to argue about my taste in women, but I'm not looking for any type of commitment."

"Dude, you need to at least talk to her," Beth said, sipping her can of soda, "Tell her what you just told me."

"Yeah, cause she handles rejection so well," Jake scoffed, "Last time I turned her down, I ended up kidnapped, trapped in her lab, and sucking her toes for a week."

"Isn't that kind of your thing, though?" Beth asked, earning a pointed glare from Jake, "Okay, okay, but she and I are friends now."

"That supposed to make things better somehow?" he asked.

"I can talk to her, and help calm her down," Beth replied, "Look, I'm not an idiot, okay? I know she's not stable, but she needs someone in her life to help her. You're the one who kept going on and on about us being heroes, having a duty to the city, and all that. Last I checked, Alexis Hamilton is a citizen of Metropolis."

"She's a psychotic villain who's tortured us both!" Jake yelled.

"Kait, Havoc, Ashley, Sally, Sam, hell, even Pam," Beth started, "All people who fought against us, tortured us, or worse, but all people who made changed for the better. Why can't Alexis change?"

"Because she's insane," Jake pointed out, "Even Kait and the others thought she was nuts, Beth! She's a broken person, and she is literally criminally insane."

"So then help her," Beth sighed, "Look, I'll drop it for now, but you should at least consider it. Your last girlfriend tried to take over the world, and she tried to eat you. I think your definition of a bad date might be higher than it should be."

"That seems unfair," Jake said, finishing his small meal, "Besides, we've got much bigger problems to worry about right now. I'm gonna go suit up, and I'll follow you to the crime scene. Is Pam meeting us there?"

"Yeah, she's still pissed about the name you gave her," Beth replied.

"She can be mad all she wants," Jake said, making his way to the study, "She needs to have some kind of cover, and since she was the one who unveiled Goth's collars, she needs to keep that alias."

"Yeah, you try telling her that," Beth said, following after him, "Maybe she'll listen to you."

"I doubt it, but I can try," Jake said, turning the hands on the grandfather clock, "Come on, let's get a move on. Nothing like seeing a dead body first thing in the morning after my best friend throws out a house guest."

"First, it's the afternoon," Beth said, waiting for the wall to move, "Second, that bitch had it coming. Let's get a move on already. I hate keeping Pam waiting."

"That's because you're whipped," Jake said as the staircase appeared.

"Get bent," Beth laughed, "You don't know the half of it. The way she went last night, I didn't think I'd be able to sit down today."

"Moving on," Jake said, not wanting the image of Beth and Pam's playtime in his head, "This won't take long, and then we can focus on the task at hand."

"Sounds good," Beth said, following him into the darkness, "I'm ready when you are."