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Being fruitful

I am lost to understand what it means in my present circumstances. Maybe paying for the family meal on my birthday is part of it, especially because it is not what I always do and in this situation I really wanted to do it. After all I celebrate family in doing so. Much of my life I have needed to learn how to receive. This day was all about giving

The idea of fruitfulness gets lost when I let myself feel entitled, because I am Godly or doing the right thing. In our grocery shopping world I do not even need to make or create what I buy. Just bring money which is essentially counter to the creative process.

This can be even worse in church culture. I pay a healthy tithe and all of a sudden I am excused from being in church after all I have a wife to take care of. And that is the truth. Yet somehow I forget about people in the church that need to be taken care of too. And an absurdity festers over time. It can seem like I give and nobody cares, because I become detached and lifeless. It brings me back to the parable of the true vine. I am faced with giving myself over to a time of being regrafted and that might even be painful. I need the time on the vine with other to know true fruit bearing capabilities. So I have much to think about. Do I want to be fruitful or productive? That is the real question I am faced with