Complex Numbers

Bore-dumb

They've identified the most boring person in the world, and miraculously, it's not me.

World's most boring person discovered by researchers  

Now, it's not like these researchers looked at every one of the 8 billion of us and ranked us by boringness. No, it was the traits that they identified. I have some issues with the methodology, but whatever; this is for fun. Because I wouldn't want to be perceived as boring.

The most boring person in the world has been revealed by University of Essex research - and it is a religious data entry worker, who likes watching TV, and lives in a town.

Or, alternatively, it could be a researcher who studies boreology.

Incidentally, how does one become a religious data entry worker? Oh, wait, they mean they're religious AND a data entry worker.

Also, I think they left out "vegan."

The study into the science of boredom has uncovered the jobs, characteristics, and hobbies that are considered a stereotypical snooze.

"The study into the science of boredom" has got to be the most boring thing I've ever heard of.

After examining more than 500 people across five experiments researchers found the blandest jobs are seen as data analysis, accounting, cleaning and banking.

Oh, okay, so it's subjective, based on peoples' preconceptions. None of those jobs are inherently boring. You know what's boring? Security guard. Well, 99.9% of the time; the other 0.1% of the time your adrenaline really pumps. Or so I'm told.

The paper – published in Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin – also discovered the dullest hobbies were seen to be religion, watching TV, bird watching and smoking.

Religion: Not a hobby. It's an identity. Fishing is a hobby. Stamp collecting is a hobby (and a mind-numbing one at that).

Watching TV: Not a hobby. It's just something you do. Passive. Hobbies are at least somewhat active. Even fishing.

Bird watching: Okay, that's a hobby. Boring? Less than fishing. Definitely less than golf.

Smoking: COME ON.

The study also showed that being perceived as boring likely conveys low competence and low interpersonal warmth.

I have another article in the queue, which will come up at some point, that presents a different take on this.

Those perceived as boring may thus be at greater risk of harm, addiction and mental health issues.

At which point they'll be less boring, won't they? Still shunned, though.

The top five most exciting jobs

1.) Performing arts

2.) Science

3.) Journalism...

So says an article by a journalist about scientists. I bet if an accountant did the study and wrote the article, they'd find journalism and science way more boring than accounting.

The top five most boring hobbies

1.) Sleeping

2.) Religion

3.) Watching TV

4.) Observing animals

5.) Mathematics

Again... how are these hobbies? Seriously, sleeping as a hobby? What the nocturnal fuck? Everyone sleeps.

Everything about this study is suspect, in short. The interesting part is how people seem to avoid, shun, and ostracize those who are seen as boring -- as if the only true measure of a life is how exciting it is. Perhaps, to venture into the even more suspect ground of evolutionary psychology, this is some holdover from when excitement meant dodging saber-toothed tigers and hunting mammoths.

Or maybe some of you can only dream of living a boring life, and they're just jealous of those of us who can.

Yeah. I'm going with that.