Complex Numbers

Oh, Canada...

Today, we go back to Cracked for an article from December about America's Hat.

15 Canadian Words Every American Should Know  

And I don't think they're talking about "hockey" or all the extra "u"s in their words.

Either because you're planning a trip to the Great White North, or you just want to be prepared in case you ever run into Keanu Reeves and don't want to look like an idiot, it's not a bad idea to know some Canadian words.

You know, it wasn't even on my radar that Keanu Reeves was Canadian. And I'm usually aware of these things, whether I want to be or not. Well. It's not like he ever chugged maple syrup in any of his movies that I've seen.

As usual, it's a countdown list, and as there are 15 of them, I'm going to choose just a few highlights.

13. “Toque” Basically Means “Beanie”

Yeah, I knew this, thanks to Rick Moranis and Dave Thomas (Canadians). But I rarely have occasion to use the word, because I live in a relatively warm country.

In the U.S., there are Beanies; in Canada, you have "Toques" -- pronounced like the family of Hobbits.

Is it, though? I've always heard it pronounced with a long oo, like in mook or boob, and I thought you pronounced the Hobbit name "Took" like "took." Looking at the word, though, you can't tell: it could be tuck or took or tooook or tock. And you can't even go to the original French for answers, because they call a beanie "un bonnet." Pronounced bonAY of course.

So, like, JayNaNoOhNo or any other Canadians reading this... which is it? Or maybe it's regional.

10. A “Snowbird” is Less Fun Than it Sounds

"Snowbird" is a song popularized by Canadian music legend Anne Murray -- but more commonly it's used, not to identify wintery fowl, but to describe the senior citizens who head to Southern U.S. states such as Florida during the colder months...

Hey, we call 'em that, too. When we're being polite.

6. A "Double-Double" is Coffee With Two Creams and Two Sugars

In the U.S., you might know it as a basketball term or a precarious sexual position (we're guessing), but it means a coffee with two creams and two sugars for Canadians.

Hey, Canadians, remember this next time you're thinking of ragging on the drink preferences of your neighbors to the south.

4. “Parkade” is Just a Parking Garage

The word "parkade" refers to a "multi-level parking garage" and appears to date back to Edmonton, Alberta in the 1950s. It's a pleasant word we should frankly all adopt.

I gotta agree with Cracked here.

3. “Pop” Means “Soda”

If you hear a Canadian ask for a "pop," they're not necessarily asking someone to hand over their elderly father. Most likely, they want a soda.

Many electrons have been wasted on discussing the regional variations in what people call carbonated soft drinks. People have actually gotten grants to study that shit. "Pop," as you probably already know, isn't unique to Canada; a huge chunk of the US   calls it "pop" also.

Incidentally, here's a map   of the US, county by county, with visualized results of this important linguistic analysis.

For the record, I call it "soda."

1. A "Two-Four" Means You're About to Get Drunk on Mediocre Beer

A case of twenty-four bottles of beer is often referred to as a "two-four" – and just think of all the extra time you'll have to get drunk thanks to the valuable seconds you saved by omitting that extra syllable.

I suppose we should be grateful they don't call it a deux-quatre. Though this is something I'll never need to know, because I don't drink beer that's sold in cases.

So, like I said, there are a few more at the link, if you care to become bilingual and learn some Canadian