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Unconventional Call

My life seems to be littered with unconventional calling and what I do about it seems to have infinite consequences.
When I was in grade school I was with a peer who had drawn a star, something I could not do at that young age. A deacon seized on the moment to provide a teachable moment. The person who drew the star had gone into the background, whereas I was all ears enjoying the attention. Maybe God saw in me what I could not see. I could not draw the star and that made me feel inferior and yet I longed to hear the message about the star and somehow that was enough and it left me longing to learn more about God's ways and why they even mattered.

At the age of thirteen I was very interested in God and yet felt somehow inferior. I had been in special education much of my time in elementary school. I recall reading a lot of religious books for grade school age even when I might be considered too old to bother with it. I especially recall an event where I got lost, cried out to God and God came to my rescue. I was hopeful. Maybe God had a reason for my life. I wanted to share the story with adults in attendance, but chose not to because they were treating me as careless and in kind of dumb for getting lost in the first place so I kept the message to myself.

As I got older my interest in God grew or maybe it was God's interest in me. I loved watching Billy Graham, Rex Humbard, Oral Roberts and others and prayed with them as a youth for peace of mind and salvation, yet did not want to branded as stupid so kept it to myself. I did pray a lot, because it seemed like the right thing to do and it made me feel connected to God and want to know more.

Finally in high school I was given a major paper to do in honors history class. My topic involved determining whether God existed using people like Acquinas and Anselm for proof. I passed the paper in and got a good grade. It was much different than what others chose for projects. At this point I was being asked if I was pastor material. I was not really sure.

I did the rational thing for myself, joining a pastors class without discussing my desire with my parents (after all would they even understand). I gave my life over to God and was baptized, a tall young man with several young girls a lot younger than me.

Shortly after that I was asked to preach on youth Sunday, because a friend of mine and his family had a falling out with the church. My first sermon detailed God's calling to me long before I became a member. God was real and I felt wanted me to do something and be somebody. It was the first time I recall having a voice. The church longed to hear what no one else wanted to hear.

I had many meetings with a teacher who taught biology, was my tennis coach, driver ed. and eventually taught me in Sunday school. He encouraged me to go to a Christian college he attended, so I did, even though in honesty I always felt way behind everyone who attended. I knew right or wrong I wanted to be a preacher and yet was that what God wanted. I recalled being impressed by another youth who spoke out for God in a secular environment. I longed to do the same.

My manner of sorting it out was taking courses to see for myself. I hungered to learn more about God and faith.