Moonie's Not So Secret Diary

Calgon, take me away.

Today is my oldest son's birthday. It's particularly and increasingly upsetting for me that we have no contact, except through his younger brother, who happens to have Asperger's syndrome.

For those if you that don't know what that is it means his brain does not function like other people's do. He does not understand or remember the importance of certain things.

While I'm glad his brother now has contact, I don't believe he truly understands him. I had to remind him that it's his birthday.

I'm not there for him though, which is what I want most. Worse yet, my siblings do not believe me that he has no contact. Therefore, I'm looked at as if I'm lying.

Other people tell me to forget about it, let it go and let those people go saying that. Really? So I should just drop them like a hot potato? How do you do that? These people are my blood. I ve
known them since they were babies and toddlers.

Granted, they can often be a big pain in the what's it. They can be fun, funny,thoughtful at times.

They're also soppose to be supportive, not just me being moral support for them. I might be Big Sis because I'm the oldest female and been around longer than them, but I don't have all the answers and I make mistakes just like everyone else.

Who's the one they come to when they have a problem? Yep, you guessed right. Do I push them away? No. Maybe that's what I'm doing wrong.

I don't think we're put in this planet to be alone, and maybe be all this has a purpose ultimately but it sure can be irritating and upsetting.

That being said, I wish they'd put back the Ozzie and Harriet Nelson type programs so I can at least fantasize.
Hahaha