Monkey Business

a Musing Day

         When Andre was elected president, many of the other countries followed suit. Never before had our world leaders consisted of such a rag-tag group of anti-politicants; monkeys, humanoids, owls, rabbits. You name it, all kinds of muses took office. One South American country even elected an anaconda (though I'm pretty sure she's really a politician in disguise). Who knew there were so many artists in the world that we would see the number of muses elected!

These newly elected leaders planned a global conference in order to all come to agreement on the new terms for governing this new world. They chose to hold their conference on 2/2/22; not because it held any significance, but because it looked good in print. Well, that and Andre was secretly hoping the conference would upstage that cocky little ground-dweller Phil. 'What utter nonsense!' he thought. 'Relying on some stupid groundhog to predict how long winter would last! Why not trust the science, at least where the weather is concerned.'

         In order to hold and actually televise the conference, muses needed to be seen and heard by the masses - not just the lucky writers, musicians, and other artists born with the innate ability to do so. "What could be the harm of letting the muses have a day each year to come out and mingle?" asked a white lab rat muse with a Russian accent. And most of the other Muses In Charge (or MIC for short) had agreed. And so, a worldwide decree was issued that on 2/2 of every year, muses were allowed to manifest completely, enabling all humans and other living beings to both see and hear them. Annie Conda tasted the air alive with the potential of their choice and thought 'Things are about to get interesting.' Her mouth curled up into a sharp-needled grin. The MIC hadn't stopped to consider that in giving muses a day of concrete manifestation, the muses would also be solid enough to manipulate object in the material world, while retaining their ability to sway the minds of people.

The conference began without a hitch shortly after 12:00am Banana Bar time. Since every member of the MIC wanted the same thing, equal rights for muses, there was little desire for shenanigans at that point. As soon as the conference began, the chains that fettered muses everywhere were unlatched and the muses were able to manifest completely if they chose to do so.

         Things were carrying on as crazy as usual at my "zoo". MJ was showing the fox old family photos and Ravyn was off doing whatever it is she does (just as long as she isn't getting me or herself in trouble, I'm fine with her absence). Ixnay was staring out the window, muzzle still securely in place and Jel was keeping himself busy planning what he would do if he ever got out of his restraints again. Nebula kitty was being her elusive self, staying away from the madness that generally occupies my mind. Being winter, the bear was still fast asleep. That's what I was doing too, before the trouble started. Alarms were sounding everywhere. It took a little while for me to realize the alarms weren't a part of my dreams. But when I finally did wake, the alarms were still blaring. Even before I kicked the blankets off me, a feeling of dread overcame me; my airways constricting and a bowling forming in the pit of my stomach. "This is so not good!" I said to no one in particular, as I have a penchant for talking out loud to myself. I called for the girls and got no answer from either. A search of my mind yields no MJ, Ravyn, or fox. All I found of Ixnay was his muzzle. "Well, someone's in for a treat!" I say sarcastically to the empty room. When I made it to Jel's cell, all that was there was an open door and a straight jacket that appeared as if it had been chewed off by an animal. "Oh! You guys, what have you done now?" I ask the deserted room, not expecting an answer. By this time, the anxiety is snapping me out of the last vestiges of sleep induced brain fog and my head clears enough to remember what day it is - February 2. The day the muses were supposed to be free to go about as they wanted. "Well, there's nothing I can do now except ride out the storm and hope like hell everyone comes back home when they've had enough fun." So I contacted Brother Nature to get word to Andre that things might get really bad soon because if my lot was on the loose, everyone else's muses were most likely out and about too! With nothing else I could do and no idea whatsoever where any of them had gone, I sit on the sofa and put the TV on the News. The newscaster had just finished highlighting the early stages of the conference on Andre's island and was cutting over to the reporter that was onsite with Phil the groundhog. The reporter had barely begun to relate the usual story of the groundhog and what would happen with the weather if Phil saw his shadow or didn't when he emerged from his hole. But, midway through his explanation, and before Phil could emerge from his hole, the news switched back to the station for some breaking news.


         The news lady looked unsettled. You could see she was attempting to put a smile on her face for the camera and her audience. Her normally perfectly coiffed blonde locks were mussed, and mascara was smeared under one eye. "Good morning ladies and gentlemen. I'm Aria Porter. We've cut from your regularly scheduled programming this morning to bring you some breaking news. It appears chaos has ensued across the city, as animals from the city's shelters run rampant in the streets after having been let loose from the shelters by an indeterminate number of unknown perpetrators. Also, unexplained fires are appearing citywide. There seems to be no rhyme nor reason for the wanton destruction of the homes and businesses affected."

I attempt to gulp in a breath but the bowling ball that had been in my stomach had just moved to my throat.

"Officials have yet to discover who is behind these senseless acts or why they are being committed. We are now switching over to Ona Vince who is reporting live from the East Texas Shelter for Unwanted and Stray Animals; the scene of the most recent vandalism. - Ona..."

"Thanks Aria! This is Ona Vince and I'm here at the East Texas Shelter for Unwanted and Stray Animals, where we are trying to shed more light on these dastardly acts. I'm here with shelter director, Fred Haws. Director Haws, what exactly happened here?"

Mr. Haws was opening his mouth to speak when an explosion a couple blocks away rocked the area. The cameraman quickly panned over to the site just as a second explosion shook them, followed by a third and a fourth. I recognized the building that was exploding. It was the lab that I used to do research in. Those separate explosions were probably from the cannisters of CO₂ that were set up outside the growth chambers to boost plant growth. I couldn't take any more. I turned off the television and sat in the darkness of my house for the rest of the day.

         Turns out, it was only my band of misfit muses that were wreaking havoc that day, but I will always dread February 2 when it rolls around on the calendar from now on. The cops never found anyone to pin the destruction on and my manic muses returned home none the worse for the wear (except for maybe some singed digits). I didn't have to muzzle Ixnay after that. What he saw Jel do must have traumatized the poor chap. Jel, well, he's back in a cell. Double locked this time; only Nebula knows the codes and she's not giving them up. Maybe I should build two more cells for the girls for next February... The girls are still themselves - for better or worse. However, their shenanigans scared the poor little fox away. I hope it finds a good home where it can inspire stories for years to come. And me? I think I've had enough fun for one day.