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January Twenty Five

Because Writing.com is an American-based web business all muses are deemed American citizens regardless of the nationality and location of the author. I don't make the rules.

Your muse just announced its candidacy for president of the United States of America, and you are the campaign manager.

Write a winning rally speech for your muse.

You can be the campaign manager for Andre the Blog Monkey if you'd like.

Marie4Prez

“What? You did what? Are you nuts?” I screamed at Marie. “President of the United States? Why in the world would you want to be President? You have no qualifications.”

Marie scowled, then walked up to me, showed me her birth certificate. “This is the only qualification I need. See, birthplace, Earth.”

“I’m pretty sure it has to be in the United States.”

Marie scowled again. “Details, details. I need for you to write a campaign speech for me. You’re the writer, you have a way with words. I want to be President. It’s a match made in heaven.”

Oh brother, how could I refuse?

“How much are you planning to spend on your campaign? Let’s start there. Iron out the money first, then we can decide the rest.” Grabbing my laptop, I started a file for Marie - presidential hopeful.

“$30.00 plus any money I get from my mother. I wrote to her yesterday.”

I had to laugh, and I did. Long and loud.

“For the love of all that is holy. $30? That’s it? For a presidential campaign??? Are you stark raving mad? Bonkers? Perhaps that will pay for a mayoral seat in podunk Idaho, or perhaps dogcatcher in outer Mongolia.”

Marie pouted. “It’s all the money I have.”

“You do realize that Obama’s campaign in 2008 spent over $760 million. That’s a far cry from $30.”

“Pish posh. We’ll figure it out. Now, my campaign promise is for world peace and to free the whales.” Marie’s smile ran from ear to ear.

“Right.” We held a staring contest for a few moments. “And how are you going to achieve world peace? What’s your plan?”

Marie began pacing my floor. Back and forth as she spoke. I think she made this up as she went.

“I think if we got all the world leaders together in a room and made them watch videos of whales in the ocean and how they are trapped and killed and made the whales go to amusement parks and how the little baby whales are orphaned…Well then they would all say ‘Oh, how sad. Let’s all work together and save the whales’ … But you can’t work together unless you are all friends so everyone would vow to be best buds and there would be world peace … No more problems with whales means no more problems with people hating each other.”

I am speechless.

“Do you think that would work? Oh, and for money, what if I create a GoFundMe page on Facebook? Do you think I could raise $780 million by doing that?”

Again, I am speechless.

“You’re not talking, what do you think?”

“To tell you the truth, Marie. I think it’s not going to work. I’ll write a speech, but who will hear it?”

“Another idea. Youtube. I’ll stream it. You know how to do that, right?”

So we talk through the night. I write a speech, Marie reads it while I record then download to Youtube. Heaven help us all.

“Hello fellow beings of Earth. I am Marie. I am declaring my wish to run for President of the United States. I think we need world peace. And we need to save the whales. That’s what I want to do as President. Send me money if you think those are good ideas. You can find me on Facebook as ‘Marie4Prez’. There is a GoFundMe page set up. I’ll use that money to tell the world about my plan.”

She stopped for a moment, then started crying. Oh for pity sake. Like one of those ‘save the poor puppies’ commercials. But I let her continue. ‘Her funeral’ was my thought. And it only cost pennies for the internet and a few pixels on my computer.

Marie continued, “So fellow Earthlings. Help me. Let’s get those whales back in the oceans where they belong. Let’s be friends. Thank you.”

I shut it down, Marie asked me how it went. We talked for a time, then Marie went on her way home, wherever that is.

I did hear that the video did well. A few thousand people viewed. CNN thought it was ‘adorable’. The GoFundMe effort raised about $400.

Marie soon went on to other ventures with that $400 capital. I did get a job offer. CNN thought my video was so good they offered me a roving reporter position.