Monkey Business

5 Day Mini Challenge 1/14/22 - The Mystery Painting

Andre the Blog Monkey's Final Mystery Challenge

Take a good look at this painting, is there something mysterious about it?
A painting of a writer, who's having a drink, possibly wine, but more likely whiskey, maybe beer, whatever is in that glass
you know it's going to get the guy drunk, that's all I'm saying, and there's nothing mysterious about that.

So... What is the mystery behind the painting?
I'm buying drinks for the blogger who writes the most intriguing mystery.
It's also Funny Friday so, make your entry funny and gain an MB.


The mystery isn’t in the painting, it is in the compilation of short stories which is being written by the subject of the painting. The painting is a portrait of the famed mystery author Frank N. Furter as he was writing the story, The Purloined Sirloin. While his usual writings do not focus around food, his hunger had begun to rage as he sat posing for this painting. It had already seemed like hours to him. Sitting there with nothing but thoughts of his empty stomach, he devised the plot and storyline of his most enduring masterpiece.
During this time, he had missed breakfast, morning tea, lunch, and afternoon tea, so by the time the painting was in its final phases, Mr. Furter was delirious with hunger and dreaming of nothing but food. The glass of spirits in the painting, being his tenth, had done nothing to sway the gnawing hunger he was experiencing. Becoming irrational due to his empty stomach, Frank frequently had to be reminded to sit still until the painter could complete his work, a feat that seemed almost impossible at the time. The dream-like look on Mr. Furter’s face which was captured in the painting is of him fantasizing about the steak and vegetables he would be consuming shortly.
The short version of the story went something like this:
A maid, while readying everything for the evening meal, had set the table for her master, mistress, and their guests. The meal was a sumptuous one, with thick cut sirloin steaks accompanied by garlic roasted potatoes and fresh greens followed by candied fruits and custard for dessert. She had gone back to the kitchen to gather the glasses and the wines that would accompany this culinary delight and was gone mere seconds. When the maid returned, the steak that had been set out for the master was missing, yet there was no one in the room who could be to blame. The maid, in a flurry, sets out to find what happened to the missing steak and asks the cook to make another just in case. While she is going about this, another of the juicy steaks disappears. The maid is beside herself with frustration. To keep the remaining steaks from disappearing as well, she takes them back to the kitchen for safe-keeping, knowing the cook would never allow anything to happen to the food she toiled so long to make. However, all it took was for the cook to turn her back for a moment and yet another of the steaks vanished. The maid and the cook called the butler in to assist them in finding the carnivorous culprit. There was no person seen around that could have taken the steaks, so the house staff gathered the guests and the master and his wife and questioned them on their whereabouts. One of the guests suggested the dog could have done it, after all it was sitting by the fire with quite the happy look on its face. But the master quickly shot down that idea; the dog was old and had never stolen any food from the table before. None of the humans ever found out what happened to the missing meat. But the old dog knew; he smiled and licked his jowls as he slipped once more into dreamland. He could now cross over the rainbow bridge a happy dog, having known the pleasure of Human Food.

The moral of this story? It’s easy.
You’ll end up writing about food if you try to write while hungry.
Now I’m going to go grab a bite to eat, finally.