The Book of Masks (Vol. 2)

Guess Who!

Previously: "Are You There, Chelsea? It's Me, Will Prescott!" 

It would probably be more fun to surprise Caleb at school tomorrow with your new body and identity. But you just can't stand to wait.

So you make a fast dart across two lanes of traffic and hang a sharp right at the light, to head back into Acheson. A horn blares at you, but you flip them off with a manicured middle finger.

* * * * *

You head for the elementary school, with the plan of texting Caleb to come out and meet you once you're there. But his car is already parked by the basement door. You primp a little, and give yourself a smug smile in the rearview mirror, before getting out.

"Hey!" you call after pushing open the basement door. The floor below is dimly lit, and seemingly deserted. "Anyone here? Hello?" Silence. "Caleb? Dude?" You descend the creaking stairs. "Hey, come out, man! I won't bite." You can't help tittering. "Unless you beg!"

A shadow detaches itself from behind a bookcase at your elbow, and you jump back with a start. "Jesus!" you gasp.

It's Caleb. He's wielding a two-by-four like a baseball bat, and his eyes are wide and staring in a face that's pale and grimy. He says nothing, and his breath comes in rasping gasps.

"Caleb!" you squeal. "What are you doing? Come on, it's me! Will?" You splay your tiny hand across your giant bosom. "Do you like?" You bounce on the balls of your feet. "I'm Chelsea!"

Caleb's eyes widen, and he swallows.

Then he explodes.

"Jesus Fuck, man!" he yells, and flings the two-by-four away with a clatter and crash. "The fuck! Do you think! You're doing?" he screams.

But it's not like Caleb Johansson could freak out Chelsea Cooper!

"Pff, chill, man," you retort. "I got me a new disguise! I—"

"I can see that!" he yells. "And you went out? You fucking went out and got clothes to go with it?" His cry ends in a strangled shriek.

"I didn't go out and get nothing! They came with her, dude! I got the face and I got the clothes, and now I'm her!"

There's a feverish light in Caleb's eye. "They came with her?" he echoes. "I didn't get no fucking clothes off her when I made the mask, man! Where the fuck did you get—?" He looks you up and down. "How did you even know how to put on a bra?"

You roll your eyes. "I know because of the doohickey you made. I just got back from— I switched places with her, man! I texted her and met up with her— Pff, that was nearly a disaster! But I switched out with her, got the Danester's mask on her, so she can fight of Chen if he comes looking to break her kneecaps. It's all good. It's all perfect. I'm all perfect!" You twirl in place so that your skirt flies off. "Don't you think?"

Caleb stares, his lips working silently. The he bursts past you and overleaps the big conference table, to tackle a lopsided set of cabinets leaning against a far wall. He searches through them, and finally turns around with a mask in his hand. He peers at it, turning it this way and that in the gloom, studying its surface.

He looks up at you with a frown. "This is the mask I made of Chelsea," he says. "Where did you get—?" He points at you, and his brow creases with suspicion.

"The one I'm wearing? Oh, Jesus." You take the long way around the conference table, to meet up with him on the other side, and yank the mask from his hands. You study the highlights that gleam and run over its surface, until you are able to make out the ghostly face of Chelsea Cooper—the face you're wearing now—inside it.

"Oh, fuck me stupid. Fuck me stupider!" you gasp. "I forgot you made one of her already! Christ. I was up, like, half the night last night making a new one to use. And I also used one of the new doohickeys that you made." You glance around. "It works perfectly, by the way. Fuck me, when I woke up after putting it on, I spent like half an hour freaking out because I thought I really was Chelsea."

"So you got another mask of her? And you got her clothes?" Caleb asks. His brow is still troubled. "So what did you do with her?"

"I told you, I popped Dane's mask onto her. Like we popped mine onto Gordon, and Gordon's onto— She's Dane, now, man. And I get to be—!"

Caleb makes a strangled Eep-like noise and runs for the stairs. "Did you leave Dane's phone with her?" he shouts back.

"Yes. I switched everything with him! I needed her phone but I didn't need his, and—"

"Did you get my text before you made this lunk-headed, broken-brained, shit-stupid switch?"

"The fuck?" you gasp. "What's your problem? You just jealous I—?"

"Did you get my text?"

"No! What text?"

Even from all the way across the basement, you can see that Caleb has turned very white.

"The text I sent you, like twenty minutes ago, asking you to meet me here!"

You feel the blood drain from your own face. But even then the penny doesn't quite drop.

"Dude," you breathe, "if Chelsea gets that text and comes out here—"

"What makes you think she's not already on her way?"

It's like your feet are bolted to the floor. You can't lift them, and your knees are locked so that you can only wobble and sway in place.

Caleb peers out the door. "I heard you coming, and I thought it was ... well ... you. But as Dane. Then I saw it was someone else's car, so I hid and—"

"What are we waiting here for?" you shriek, and the shock of the scream loosens your feet from the floor. "We have to get out of here! I mean, I know she's going to see me at school tomorrow! But if she finds me out here—!"

You elbow Caleb in the gut as you bolt up the stairs. He runs after you. "Does Chelsea have the key to the basement?" he yells.

"What?"

"Do you have your key to the basement? Or did you leave it with ... Dane?"

Shit! "I think he's got it! She's got it! Dude, what are you doing?" He's run back down into the basement. "We have to get out of here!"

Caleb's head pops up. "I have to clean this place out, in case he comes snooping! You get out of here! Meet me at ... um ..."

"I'll meet you at your place!" you holler, and jump into your car. The key bounces off the ignition as you frantically try jamming it in.

And yet (Chelsea's) force of habit will prevail, and you'll carefully buckle yourself in before throwing the car into reverse and racing back onto the street.

* * * * *

You and Caleb wind up down the street, in the deserted parking lot of Schulyer Middle School, which you attended and which your brother attends. There seems little chance of the two of you being spotted together, but still you huddle low in the passenger seat of Caleb's car, with your face averted from the window, as you talk. Caleb is pissed that you made this switch without talking to him first.

Which pisses you off. "I don't need your permission to do shit!" you tell him. "It's my book, it's my stuff. It's my freaking life that Chen wants to end, so if I see a chance to—"

"It's Dane's life he wants to end," Caleb retorts.

"And I was Dane! Now Chelsea is Dane! And it serves her right. She's the one that got me into this mess, by sicking her psycho boyfriend on me—"

"You told me you lipped off to her."

"Fuck you! Actually, now that I think about it, it's your fault all this happened, when you slapped that mask onto Gordon! If you're feeling so sorry for Chelsea—"

"I'm not feeling sorry for Chelsea!"

"—we can go find her and you and her can switch places! Serve you both right if you got massacred by Chen and she got to spend the rest of her life being a goofy, cheese-faced dork!"

Caleb turns very pink, and looks away.

"Well, if that's what you think of me, Will," he starts to say.

"Oh, shut up! Just don't tell me what I should and shouldn't be doing. I told you, it's my life and it's my magical shit, you're just helping. And if it's that 'cheese-faced' thing I just said, it just popped into my head." You realize you have folded your arms across your chest, and have crossed your legs in very dainty way as well. "It's something Chelsea would have said."

"And now you're Chelsea," Caleb says in a very wooden tone of voice. "How long for?"

"Until Chen calms down, at least."

"And how will you know when that is?"

"I'm counting on you to let me know. You're the one who's going to be hanging out with Dane."

"Oh, fuck! What makes you think—"

"You texted him, right? He's gonna think— Chelsea is gonna think you and him are buds."

"I'll tell him I butt-texted the wrong person."

But a little later, when "Dane" replies to Caleb's text with the note I'm here where r u? Caleb gives in with a groan and agrees to go meet him.

"You owe me big time," he growls as you get of his car. "At the very least, I'm gonna wanna see your tits!"

You give him a tight smile and a wave, and climb into your car for the drive to your new home.

Next: "At Play with Chelsea Cooper" 

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"Table of Contents (Vol. 2)" 
"The Book of Masks (Vol. 2)"