Random Ramblings

Shuffling Off the Mortal Coil

Eyelashes flutter, blurred vision gradually coming into focus.

My chest heaves. I wheeze, inhaling oxygen from my nasal cannula. There is nobody here with me. I am alone in this starkly lit room, filled with nothing but the cloying scent of disinfectant and the nonenal odor of decrepit life. And yet, I have company.

Picture frames stand on my bedside table. I reach a wizened hand out, wrinkled palm snatching up a wooden square and pulling it towards my eroding eyesight. Frail fingers stroke the glass, resting on familiar faces captured on film, a window into a memory created several lifetimes ago. I was a different person then. Younger, arrogant, naive, full of piss and vinegar.

Who would have thought I'd travel the world and visit old friends, hopping from country to country, states and counties, haunting their doorsteps with a cheeky grin? It was a pleasure to see them at long last. Finally, I could put usernames to faces, stories to their creators. I was just a side character in those rollicking tales of theirs, a traveler who went with the wind, carrying nothing but reflections and recollections, sharing contagious laughter and personal anecdotes.

I ran my fingertips over those beaming countenances, silently naming each one. I missed them. Where were they now? Did they accomplish those goals, achieve the long dreamt victories we confessed? Are they doing the same thing as I? Sitting at the edge of existence, pondering a life well lived?

Tenderly, I replaced the picture frame on my table. Several books lay scattered about, each with my name on them. I smiled, staring at the new editions and updated covers, remembering the days spent struggling over short stories and wondering if I'd ever finish a novel.

If this is all I have during the end days, I will be content. For that is all I truly wish to achieve.

Day 29: Imagine for a moment that you are near the end of your life. What do you want to have done that would make you feel satisfied?