Complex Numbers

Procreation Pass

Oh man, I thought I had that first draft of a story set on private.

PROMPT November 13^th

A Science-Fiction type prompt tonight. In your world, all citizens are temporarily neutered at birth. When you want to become a parent, you must prove to the government that you’ll be suitable caretakers and providers before you are allowed to procreate. How do you 'prove to the government' that you'll be a good caretaker/parent.

Oh, yeah, it is set on private. But I can't have been the only person to think of this, because...

This is an excellent idea.

I have long thought that one of life's great injustices is that in order to adopt a child, prospective parents have to jump through all sorts of fiery hoops, balance on a tightrope across a pool of smoking acid, and juggle chainsaws. Meanwhile, any two idiots can (and often do) get together and procreate with impunity.

There are at least two ways to fix this. One, just let anyone adopt who wants to. Yes, this risks people adopting kids for nefarious purposes, but as there are biological parents who use their offspring for nefarious purposes, I don't think this is a good argument against it. Two, go the other direction and make everyone who wants kids do the circus act.

There are certainly other solutions, but for the sake of (relative) brevity here, I won't consider them; the prompt goes with option 2. This would, in theory, ensure that everyone who raises a kid has some minimum qualifications for the job, just like any job has certain minimum qualifications. Result: happier, healthier, better-adjusted population. It would be utopian.

Like I said, in theory.

Because...

This is a horrible idea.

In reality, such a system would be rife with corruption.

Around the time when I was born, there was really only one way to adopt a child, which was to go through an adoption agency. Those agencies would vet potential parents and make the decision for them. All of the adoption agencies in the US were Christian, and so they only placed kids with Christian families. My parents, being Jewish, had to do an end run around this to get me.

Religious discrimination is only one of many ways the system would fail. There would be racism, too. And if whoever's making those decisions doesn't like homosexuality, then gay couples would never be able to adopt or even make arrangements to procreate. There is scientifically no way to design a fair system of deciding who is and is not allowed to have kids. Want to make sure they're well provided for? Discriminates against poor people. Want to have only the most intelligent people reproducing? Well, that's eugenics, and we all know how that works out.

Whoever is in power would use the system to punish anyone who doesn't fall in line. That's just the way politics works. Wrote something criticizing the government? No Procreation Pass for you. Participated in a strike against your employer? We only want citizens who are willing to work for low pay, so rejected. Have that one social media post where you got drunk and peed on a cop car? Sexual deviancy; no kids for you.

No, it would be dystopian.

The closest thing to a perfect system would be to find a way to ensure that anyone who wants a kid gets one, and anyone who doesn't, doesn't get saddled with any. No more accidents.

I mean, if you're talking science fiction, I could see something like the setup in the prompt happening on a temporary basis, say on a generation ship where resources are limited and tightly controlled. It would still end up causing conflict. Which is great for stories, but not so wonderful in real life.

But that doesn't address the prompt.

"How do you 'prove to the government' that you'll be a good caretaker/parent."

Answer: I don't. I never wanted kids.

But if I did, I'd demonstrate that I'm not abusive, that I'm stable, and that I have the means and ability to care for a larval human.

However, I can demonstrate all these things in real life — I've been able to do that for a while — and I still don't want kids. It's not like there's a shortage of them right now.